


Good Deed, Bad Seed

by storywriter55



Series: Milestones [24]
Category: White Collar (TV 2009)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Crime, Family, Gen, Kidnapping, Sexual Assault, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:09:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 34
Words: 76,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28436667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storywriter55/pseuds/storywriter55
Summary: Neal unwittingly becomes entangled in an international spy ring with dire consequences for his family. Part of the 'Milestones' series (19.7 years)
Relationships: Neal Caffrey/Sara Ellis
Series: Milestones [24]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/80614
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

‘Neal, that was an incredible meal!’ Sara said as she sipped her cappuccino.

‘I told you… it got a four star rating in the Times’ he answered, looking rather smug.

Sara glanced towards the bar which was overflowing with guests waiting to be seated.The Green Apron was one of those new trendy restaurants in the Chelsea District that didn’t take reservations and yet, when they’d arrived an hour and a half earlier they’d been greeted like royalty and immediately shown to the best table in the house. 

‘So, are you going to tell me how you managed to pull this off?’ Sara asked, although the Caffrey mystique was one of the things she still loved most about her husband after all those years of marriage.

Neal glanced at her from across the table with an innocent smirk and he reached out for her hand.

‘Do you _really_ want me to tell you?’ he asked, leaning in seductively, eyes naughty. 

He knew that deep down Sara loved the fact that she would never know _all_ of his secrets.She didn’t need to know that Mozzie had finally gotten his hands on a long awaited Matisse and had fenced it to the new restaurant owner who was now eternally grateful to Mozzie – and by extension, any close acquaintance of the conman.

She gazed into his eyes, noticing the look of mischief there, next to the greying temples. 

‘No’ she finally said.

‘Hope called today’ Neal said, changing the subject. ‘Her mid terms start next week.’

‘How did she sound?’ Sara asked as she swiped another bite of Neal’s chocolate amaretto cheesecake.

‘A little stressed out but I gave her one of my old tricks for remaining calm under duress – fake it ‘till you make it’ Neal replied as he returned to the dessert Sara had managed to avoid ordering but had been picking at for the last ten minutes.

‘I’m so proud of her’ Sara said, her look faraway.

‘She can do anything she wants’ Neal agreed. ‘If she just gets out of her own way…’

‘Did she ask about Cameron?’ Sara asked.

The young couple had broken up right before Hope’s return to Carnegie Mellon for the fall semester and after spending the summer going back and forth, debating the merits and pitfalls of being exclusive. She’d confided in her mom that, although she had deep feelings for Cam, she was still unsure about a long term commitment and she didn’t want to keep him hanging on while she got herself sorted out.

‘No, she didn’t…’ Neal answered. ‘But _he_ asks me about her every single time I go into the gallery… wants to know if I have any news. I feel sorry for him; he’s living a monk’s life…’

‘Oh, like the kind of monk’s life you lived when you ran off to Cape Verde and left me behind?’ Sara teased as she thought back to Neal’s confession about his brief affair with a café owner.

‘Do you really want to go there, ‘Miss _Bejing’_?’ he countered, recalling how fast she’d ‘flinged’ back into an affair with Bryan McKenzie after she’d broken up with Neal the first time.

Sara laughed heartily. Twenty-two years later, it was all just a distant memory and they still loved teasing each other about their past transgressions – even though they had two decades of wonderful memories and two terrific children.

‘Liam told me he saw Cam at the movies last week with another girl’ Sara confided as Neal’s eyes grew.

‘Really?’ said Neal, the hopeless romantic. ‘I thought better of him…’

‘Better of him? Neal, he’s allowed to live his life. I’m sure Hope is dating other guys while she’s away. That’s the whole idea behind breaking up – you can date other people’ Sara said in her usual, no-nonsense way.

Neal shrugged, obviously disappointed. He’d begun to think of Cam as son-in-law material and he thought Hope had made a mistake by breaking up with him – although he’d kept his big trap shut. 

Sara squeezed his hand to bring him back to reality.

‘How’s Peter doing?’ she asked.

‘He’s good. They’re going to run some more tests to see what shape his prostate’s in but he’s pretty optimistic they won’t need to operate. Oh, I meant to tell you, we hit $25,000 in profits in September.’

‘Wow! That didn’t take long. We didn’t think we’d hit that milestone until the middle of next year’ she enthused.

‘Well, Peter is keeping us nice and tight on the expenses side and we made a $5,000 commission just on the Karen Maxwell exhibition. And guess what? We sold Caitlin’s sculpture for $300.’

‘Wow! Did you tell her yet?’ Sara asked.

‘No. It only happened yesterday and I wanted to wait and talk to her before I hand her a cheque for $180. That’s an awful lot of money and I want her to consider putting it away for now’ Neal said.

For a guy who had always been impulsive about spending money, it was ironic that his advice would be to save up for a rainy day. 

‘Peter told me you sold Hope’s cottage series. How much did you get for it?’ Sara asked, recalling the group on six paintings Hope had put up for sale in late summer, before she returned to school. 

‘They sold for between $600 and $1200 each’ Neal answered, pride apparent in his voice. ‘Mrs. Fisher bought two and she came back for a third.’

‘Let me guess, you got $1200 for the one of Liam jumping off the dock?’ Sara guessed. It had always been her favourite.

‘Nope’ Neal answered with a sly smile. ‘The one of you sitting on the swing reading a book.’

‘Really?’

‘You look amazing in that painting’ Neal said fondly.

‘Slow down there, Casanova… Hope made me _look_ amazing in that painting’ she corrected with a soft laugh.

‘There you go, selling yourself short again’ Neal said with a grin.

She smiled, slightly embarrassed; she could never quite wrap her mind around being at the centre of any painting – let alone, have her image hanging in a gallery or in someone’s home.

‘So… are you done _not_ having any of my dessert?’ Neal asked with a grin as he glanced around the busy restaurant. ‘It’s getting noisy in here. You ready to start heading back?’

The bill was paid and Neal winked to the owner on the way out as he left a more than generous tip in his hands. The couple made their way out onto the busy street. There were lots of cafés and restaurants on this strip of West 26th and Sara suggested they walk for a couple of blocks before heading back to the car to try to work off their meal. It was a beautiful early October evening, definitely chilly as fall descended on New York, but still a wonderful night for a stroll.

They held hands as they walked, looking into storefronts and galleries, Neal always on the lookout for ideas he could steal for the Raphael.

‘Caitlin got another detention this afternoon’ Sara said, matter of fact.

When they had decided to foster the teen, they knew without a doubt that there would be rough times ahead. She was damaged goods but, surprisingly, Sara had been the more patient and forgiving of the two, contrary to what she’d anticipated. Neal had lived an aimless life as a teen and he was determined not to have Caitlin follow a similar path – he kept close tabs on her and didn’t give her any leeway, something Sara worried might eventually alienate him from the young girl.

‘You’re kidding!’ Neal said, stopping on the sidewalk and turning to face his wife. ‘What is it _this_ time?’

‘Calm down, Neal. She was late for class, that’s all…’

‘Late for class? Why the hell was she late for class? I drop them both off at the same place at the same time every morning. _Liam_ is never late for class.’

‘Honey, calm down. At least she’s _going_ to school. This is _nothing_ compared to doing drugs and stealing… which, may I remind you, Caitlin hasn’t done in a whole two months now.’

Neal rolled his eyes. He’d given her so many chances and yet the unruly teen kept pushing his buttons, driving him crazy – payback, he thought for every single time he’d pushed Peter over the line.

‘I just… it’s so frustrating. I just want her to get her act together. She’s so talented and yet she’s frittering it all away’ Neal groused as Sara laced her arm in his.

‘Neal…’ was all she said before he shook his head, needing no more reminding that he’d done much worse in his youth and that it had taken him a lot longer to straighten himself out.

‘Fine’ he said, bringing the discussion to an end. He didn’t need reminding of his indiscriminate youth. All he had to do was look at Caitlin and he was instantly reminded of all his past shortcomings.

The sun was coming down and there was a sudden chill in the air as they turned onto a side street and headed back towards the restaurant where they’d parked the car.

‘I talked to my mom this afternoon’ Neal said, his voice quiet.

Sara waited for him to continue. Since he’d made amends with his mother, Neal had been in touch with her regularly. She’d been in hospital twice during the summer months and although Neal had tried to bring her down to New York for a visit, she had simply been too sick to travel.He’d visited her every few weeks, sometimes on his own or sometimes with Sara who had grown fond of her mother-in-law.

‘She sounded really tired’ Neal continued, looking sad. ‘And I don’t think she’s telling me everything.’

‘Of course she isn’t. Would _we_ tell the kids everything if _we_ were dying?’ she asked rhetorically.

Sara’s usual dry delivery cut to the quick and Neal frowned at her lack of sensitivity.

‘Sorry’ she said, almost immediately as she caught a glimpse of the look of sadness on his face.She squeezed his arm by way of apology and he put his hand over hers in a sign of forgiveness.

Neal shrugged. She was right and he hated to think that his mom would soon be leaving his life when she’d only been back in it for such a short time. He hadn’t given up on bringing her to New York. He wanted her to see the gallery and the June Ellington School of Art where he spent most of his waking hours. She would get a kick out of seeing Hope and Liam in their natural habitat.

‘I know airport travel is hard… maybe I could drive out and get her – that way we could take our time and we could stop whenever she needed a break…’

‘Honey, that’s a fourteen hour drive…’ Sara began, stopping suddenly when she saw the look of disappointment on Neal’s face. She squeezed his arm and continued, not wanting to be responsible for bursting his balloon, ’…well, why don’t you talk to her about it and see what she says.’

Neal nodded sadly. They were just about a block away from where they’d parked the car when Neal’s attention was drawn to a small commotion on a side street. In the semi darkness, he could see a woman being pushed up against a building by a large, man, hovering menacingly above her.

‘I don’t have it’ he heard the woman moan, her voice quivering while the man pushed her up against the brick building.

‘Hey!’ Neal called out in an effort to break up the confrontation. He wasn’t very skilled at hand to hand combat but he sure as hell wasn’t about to leave a defenceless woman to fend for herself against a brute in the middle of alley in Manhattan.

The man looked up towards the sound of Neal’s voice and continued shaking the woman, obviously undeterred as she cowered nearby. Neal pulled away from Sara and began to run towards the pair.

‘Call the police!’ he called out to his wife.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

‘Hey! You!Let her go!’ Neal cried out as he got closer.

He glanced up the alley, noticing there was no one else in sight – a little help on his quest to stop whatever this was turning into would have been greatly appreciated. Alas, he seemed to be on his own to try to keep this brute from attacking the young woman, who continued to stand there, back against the brick wall, totally defenceless. Neal’s voice reverberated in the empty alley, the burly, bald man barely acknowledging Neal’s warning. Neal got closer as the guy grabbed the woman roughly by the arm and pushed her up against the wall once more, totally ignoring Neal’s rebuke.

‘Hey!I’m talking to you. Stop it! Now!’ Neal shouted louder, hoping that the mere interruption would be enough to stop the imminent attack and send the attacker running the other way.

The large man turned towards Neal, his hand still holding the woman’s arm as he yelled back.

‘This has nothing to do with you, buddy!’ he shouted. ‘Mind your own goddam business.’

‘This _is_ my business, now let her go!’ Neal screamed, trying to sound confident despite the fact his knees were shaking and his heart was thumping madly in his chest.

The man wasn’t about to give up. He turned back towards the woman and shouted. ‘I said, where the hell is it?’ 

WCWCWC

Sara watched from the nearby sidewalk as Neal continued on his mission to get his ass kicked and handed to him on a silver platter. Why did he always have to play the hero? At just under six feet, Neal was no slouch by any means but he had always been on the slim side, tipping the scales at a mere 175 pounds – and that was soaking wet after a double helping of Thanksgiving dinner. He’d always been much more successful at using his silver tongue than his fists and Sara watched with concern as her husband rode in on his white horse to try to diffuse the situation and save this poor unfortunate woman from harm.

‘Neal, be careful’ she called out, almost certain he hadn’t heard her.

She glanced up and down the street, hoping the police cruiser she’d summoned would appear at any moment so she wouldn’t have to follow it up with a second call to 911 - this time to summon an ambulance to take her badly beaten husband to the nearest hospital.

Of course, she should know better than to expect Neal to stand by and not get involved despite any obvious risks to his own safety. Her husband never shied away from confrontation when someone needed help – even if that person was a complete stranger. He just wouldn’t be true to himself if he didn’t step up to the plate and try to make things right.

She could hear a siren off in the distance and hoped it was headed their way. 

WCWCWC

‘I’m fine’ Neal said for the third time as Sara continued to fuss over him in the emergency waiting room. ‘It’s just a small cut.’

Truth was, he was frustrated he hadn’t been able to intervene without things escalating to violence – the fact that he’d been the only casualty of said violence was just plain embarrassing. 

The sound of the police siren drawing nearer had been the incentive needed to send the big, brawny guy disappearing down the alley but not before he’d thrown the woman to the ground and given Neal a good sharp shove which had sent him face first into the nearby brick wall. Sara had been by his side instantly, helping him to his feet while the police cruiser finally pulled up on the scene, too late to be of any help. 

The woman had been grateful to Neal for intervening and the three of them had stood on the sidewalk for a good ten minutes while they took turns giving their statements to the two officers who had shown up at the scene. It was only upon getting a good look at her face that Neal had recognized the woman from his many trips to the Federal Building. He’d noticed her on occasion whenever he had visited Peter in the past or more recently, when he dropped in to see Jones and Diana at the White Collar unit. Turned out her name was Brenda Foster and she worked for _Homeland_ _Security_ on the 12th floor, she’d explained. 

The pretty blond woman thanked Neal profusely for his civic mindedness and before going their separate ways, Neal had given both Brenda and the police officers his business card on which he’d jotted down his home number in case they needed to contact him for further information.To his surprise, the young woman had given him an enthusiastic hug before leaving the scene, thanking him again for his help and wishing him well.

Landing in hospital hadn’t been on the program and Sara sat in the waiting room alongside Neal, reaching for her phone to call home to check on things.

Caitlin answered on the third ring, sounding irate about something or other when Sara asked if things were okay.

‘Liam’s being a prick’ the teen responded as Sara scoffed.

‘Caitlin!’ she admonished. ‘Language!’

‘All right, he’s being an asshole!’ Caitlin said, correcting herself.

Sara rolled her eyes. ‘Much better, Caitlin’ she said in the sarcastic tone Caitlin Somersby was learning to appreciate from her foster mother. ‘Listen, we’re going to be a bit later. Neal’s had a little…mishap’ she added mysteriously.

‘What kind of mishap?’ Caitlin asked, always curious yet suddenly concerned.Neal had been her saviour, inviting her into their home when she’d simply run out of options and for all her standoffish attitude towards the Caffreys, she cared very much about what happened to him.

‘It’s nothing serious. You and Liam just hold off on killing each other until we get back, okay?’ Sara warned before hanging up. 

Neal was seen to and stitched up in no time and they arrived home from their little misadventure a little past eleven o’clock only to find Caitlin hovering by the front door, obviously anxious for them to return.

‘Mr. C!’ she exclaimed when she spotted the bandage on his forehead. ‘What happened?’

‘It’s nothing. I’m fine’ Neal muttered, trying hard not to give in to the throbbing pain in his head.

‘I made you some coffee… Italian Roast, your favourite’ the teenager said as she led the way into the kitchen.

‘Thanks Caitlin… but shouldn’t you be getting to bed? You don’t want to be late for class tomorrow’ Neal said pointedly as he glared at her – anything to deflect the attention away from himself and his misguided attempt at playing Superman.

‘Yeah, about that…’ she began as she glanced at Sara – the woman who had grassed her out.

‘I don’t want to hear about it’ Neal said, frustrated with the events of the evening. ‘Bed!’

‘Yes sir’ Caitlin murmured as she bid them both goodnight.

‘Do you want some aspirin?’ Sara asked as she made her way over to the kitchen cupboard.

‘Yes’ Neal said, giving in to the humiliation.

Sara walked over with a glass of water and a couple of pills, running her hand through Neal’s hair.‘Honey, what you did tonight was very brave’ she cooed as she grazed his forehead with her lips.

‘You mean, it was very stupid’ Neal corrected as he swallowed the pills.

‘No! I admit I would _prefer_ if you didn’t always put yourself in the middle of these things but then, it just wouldn’t be you’ Sara said with a soft smile. 

‘Yeah well, even _I’m_ getting too old to be me’ Neal answered with a shrug as he pulled his wife in for a hug.

‘My hero…’ Sara cooed.

‘Well, this hero is ready for bed!’

WCWCWC

Neal pulled up in front of White Plains District High at 8:35 as he did most weekday mornings.Now that he divided his time between the gallery and the school of art, he used one of their two cars to commute daily instead of taking the train into Manhattan. He usually dropped the kids off at school, made his way to the Bronx and spent the morning at the school, running staff meetings, ordering supplies, chatting with teachers and students before heading back to the Raphael in the Chelsea District of Manhattan right after lunch when traffic finally got a little lighter. Some days, he didn’t go to the gallery at all, now that Peter worked there full time and Cameron had been promoted to manager.

‘You have _absolutely_ no reason to be late for class today, Caitlin. Do you hear me?’ he barked as she stepped out of the car.

‘Yes sir’ she answered dutifully although Neal had his doubts.

‘Have a good day, you two’ Neal added before driving away.

The morning was uneventful and if it hadn’t been for the lingering headache, Neal would have forgotten all about his misadventure from the night before. By lunchtime, he headed out to the Raphael to see Peter who he hadn’t seen in a couple of days. Neal loved hanging around the gallery, seeing to customers while Peter toiled nearby at the paperwork – the part of the job Neal absolutely hated and had happily relinquished to his partner. He made a small detour to the coffee shop next door to the gallery and ordered Peter’s favourite espresso – something Elizabeth never let him have when she was around. 

‘Good afternoon’ he announced solemnly as he walked in, seeing Peter hunched over his desk toiling away and noticing Cameron finishing up a transaction with a customer nearby.

‘Neal!’ Peter exclaimed, removing his glasses and rubbing the bridge of his nose. ‘I didn’t know you were coming by today… Wow!What happened to you?’

Although the damage had been minimal, Neal was sporting a bandage across his forehead to cover the four stitches they’d put in the night before at White Plains General. He frowned at Peter’s greeting, feeling the sting and pull on his forehead.

‘Got dinged playing the hero’ Neal muttered as he handed Peter the cup of coffee and perched himself on the edge of his desk.

Peter waited for more – there was _always_ more where Neal was concerned.

‘Sara and I went out to dinner last night and on the way out, we spotted this guy attacking a woman and I… I sort of got involved’ he admitted.

Peter gave him a knowing look, eyebrows raised. Knowing Neal as he did, it was no surprise to him that his best friend would put himself out there to help a stranger – he’d seen it countless times before when they’d worked together all those years ago.

‘So… how did it end?’ Peter asked.

‘Well, the police eventually showed up and the guy did a runner. The woman’s fine…’ Neal said.

‘Hey Mr. Caffrey!’ Cam called out as Neal heard the door jingle and watched the customer leave the store. ‘I just sold one of yours.’

‘Oh yeah? Which one?’ Neal asked. At any given time, he had a dozen or so of his works on display on the second floor of the gallery.

‘The one with the Canada geese’ Cam said as Neal nodded. That piece had only been up on the wall for a couple of weeks.

‘Great!’ Neal said. ‘So, anything new to report?’

‘It’s all good. It’s been pretty busy, right Mr. B?’ he asked, turning to Peter who nodded. ‘So, have you heard from Hope lately?’

Neal swallowed; he hated to see the poor guy suffering as he was and he wondered if working at the gallery with Hope’s dad and godfather made things worse for him.

‘She called yesterday. Exams start next week’ Neal said, giving Cam the abridged version of his conversation with his daughter. ‘She says hi to everyone.’ He couldn’t help throwing the poor guy a bone.

‘Well, I’ve got stuff to do in the back’ Cameron said as he turned to leave, pointing to the pile of letters. ‘There’s some mail for you.’

Neal smiled at the young man; he really quite liked him and Neal had to admit Cam was a godsend at the gallery, keeping things running smoothly when he couldn’t be there. The balancing act between managing things at the gallery and getting the art school up and running wasn’t an easy task but for the time being, Neal needed to make sure the June Ellington School of Art was properly staffed and well on its way to living up to his high expectations.

Neal turned his attention back to Peter, nudging the newspaper Peter had left on the corner of his desk in order to make room for him to sit. His eyes were drawn to the photograph on the front page of the Post and a familiar face with the caption ‘ _Woman found murdered in Brooklyn’_

‘I know this woman!’ Neal exclaimed.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

‘That’s her!’ Neal exclaimed as he picked up the newspaper and stared at the photograph.

‘Who?’ Peter asked, standing to glance over Neal’s shoulder.

‘This is her, the woman from last night. The one who was being attacked in the alley’ he said as he began to read the article.

Brenda Foster had been found in the early hours of the morning by her landlord after he’d heard screams coming from her apartment. She’d been savagely beaten and left for dead in her living room as she sat, tied to a chair, her body mangled almost beyond recognition. Her apartment had been totally ransacked, a major mess left for _someone_ to clean up. Whoever had done this had been searching for something and it was anybody’s guess whether or not they’d been successful in finding it.

Neal suddenly recalled the words uttered by the man in the alley – ‘ _where is it?’_ and he turned to face Peter, his mind whirling.

‘It’s got to be that guy from the alley. He kept on asking her where _it_ was’ Neal said.

‘Where _what_ was?’ Peter asked, trying to follow the discombobulated story without the benefit of any of the details Neal had been privy to.

‘I don’t know… but whoever did this gutted her apartment looking for _something_ …’ Neal murmured. ‘I’ve got to go to the police – they might not connect the report from last night to this.’

Suddenly he got an idea and Neal turned to look at Peter. ‘Do you think we can go to the scene, maybe find out some of the details?’

Peter knew that look… the look that always led to some kind of trouble where Neal was concerned.

‘C’mon Peter. You know a lot of the uniforms in Brooklyn. Maybe they’ll tell us something’ Neal pleaded – and suddenly, he looked like a young CI again, begging Peter to let him come and play with the big boys.

Peter hesitated for a brief moment before giving in to Neal’s pleading eyes. 

‘Cam!’ he called out. ‘Are you okay if I go out for a while?’

WCWCWC

A few phone calls later, Peter and Neal were headed out to Howser Street in Brooklyn, the scene of the gruesome murder. Once there, the apartment building was easy enough to identify; it was the four floor walk up which was surrounded by bright yellow police tape blowing in the late afternoon breeze. 

Peter spotted his old acquaintance, Detective John Davis, nearby and the man waved him through to where he was standing, in the lobby of the apartment building.

‘Burke! I heard you’d retired. What brings white collar out here?’ he said as the men got closer.

‘I _have_ retired’ Peter said as he shook Davis’ hand. ‘This is personal. I’d like you to meet a friend of mine, Neal Caffrey.’

‘Caffrey’ the detective said as Neal put out his hand.

‘Neal thinks he might have some information that could help with your murder investigation’ Peter added.

‘I’m all ears’ said the detective as he led the men to a quiet area of the lobby.

‘I interrupted an attack on your victim’ Neal explained as Davis’ face became animated.

‘And when was this?’ the man asked, suddenly curious.

‘Just last night… in Manhattan. I was coming out of a restaurant with my wife when we heard a commotion on a side street. This woman…’ Neal said, pointing to the newspaper still clasped in firmly in his hands, ‘…was being attacked by a man.’

‘Did you report it to the police?’ asked the detective as he began to jot down the details of what Neal was saying.

‘Yeah, a couple of officers from the 21st precinct came to the scene but the guy had already fled on foot’ Neal explained.

‘Is that what that’s about?’ Davis asked, pointing to Neal’s battered face.

‘I tried to break it up but the guy threw me against a brick wall before he took off’ Neal admitted, none too proudly.

‘Can you describe the guy?’ the detective asked.

‘Sure. It was getting dark but I got a decent look at him’ Neal said.

Detective Davis seemed happy to be getting this unexpected break so early in the case. ‘Why don’t I set you up with a sketch artist back at the precinct?’

‘I can do better than that’ Neal said. ‘I can sketch him for you myself.’

‘Neal’s an artist’ Peter explained as John Davis nodded.

‘Great! Anything else you can tell us about him? Accent? Build? Distinguishing features?’

‘He was about 6 foot 3, burly, bald and he had a faint German accent. But he didn’t say much… basically just to mind my business…but he kept yelling at the woman to tell him where _it_ was.’

‘Where _what_ was?’ Davis asked, just as Peter had done before.

Neal shrugged. ‘That’s just it. I don’t know. He seemed to be after something but I have no idea what.’

‘Do you mind coming down to the station with me to give a full statement?’ the detective asked.

Neal glanced at his watch suddenly remembering they had company coming for dinner in about an hour. ‘Yeah, let me just make a quick call and I’ll be with you’ he said as he grabbed his phone and stepped away.

WCWCWC

‘That’s incredible!’ Lydia Jordan said as she and her husband Sam sat at the Caffrey dining room table, listening to Sara’s recounting of the events of the previous night. 

The adults watched as Beatrice Jordan zoomed past them for the third time, chased by Caitlin and an excited Raffie who was barking loudly. At this point, it had become almost impossible to tell who was chasing who. 

‘Whoa, whoa there, slugger!’ Sam Jordan said as he grabbed his giggling daughter, forcing the unlikely parade to stop dead in its tracks.

Beatrice Sara Jordan had been born under rather trying circumstances one night almost three years earlier in the conference room at Sterling Bosch where her mom worked under Sara Ellis’ tutelage. The two couples had grown close over the past several years and Neal and Sara had been beyond thrilled when Sam and Lydia had asked them to be their daughter’s godparents.Neal, especially, doted on his goddaughter and spent as much time as he could with her, having her over on weekends and spoiling her rotten every chance he got.

‘Caitlin, why don’t you take Beatrice into the family room and sit with her and watch a movie’ Sara suggested.

‘You want to go watch Aladdin?’ Caitlin asked, her voice excited, taking the child from her daddy’s arms.

‘Aladdin!’ screamed little Bea as she willingly went to the teen, forgetting all about chasing the dog around the house. 

Lydia waited for Caitlin and Beatrice to retreat to the nearby family room before asking for more gruesome details. ‘So, the woman was found dead?’ she whispered.

‘Yes, she was found beaten in her apartment early this morning’ Sara said, her voice low.

‘Do you think there’s any connection between her death and what happened last night?’ asked Sam, a question which was on everybody’s mind.

‘I have no idea but Neal’s giving them a more detailed description of the guy’ Sara explained as she checked her watch. ‘I hope he gets here before Bea conks out. He was really looking forward to spending some time with her.’ 

Neal had called more than two hours earlier to say he was still at the police station giving the investigators as much information as he possibly could. She expected him home any minute – although he’d have to make do with a sandwich for dinner – the roast she’d barely managed to prepare without his usual help was now more shrivelled up than a piece of beef jerky.

As if on cue, the front door opened and Neal’s voice was heard resonating through the house.

‘Is there a little girl named Bibi here?’ he called out, excited, as little Beatrice came rumbling from the back of the house, straight into her godfather’s arms.

‘Uncle Neeeaaal!’ she shrieked at the sight of him.

’Bibi!’ he exclaimed as he scooped her up into his arms.

‘You have a bobo!’ she called out, touching the bandage on Neal’s forehead and bringing her lips to his face in a gentle kiss. Neal smiled broadly – all pain forgotten.

‘It’s just a _little_ bobo. And now it’s all better’ Neal reassured her as he pointed to the bag he’d left by his feet. ‘There’s something for my special girl in that bag!’

The child screeched and wriggled out of his grasp as Lydia and Sam watched, rolling their eyes.

‘Neal, you have to stop spoiling her like that’ Lydia complained.

‘What’s the point of having a goddaughter if you can’t spoil her’ Neal said, removing his coat and making his way to say hello to his wife.

‘Sorry’ he said as he placed a kiss on her cheek.‘It took a lot longer than I thought it would. Did you make out okay with dinner?’ he asked.

Everyone in the room grew quiet at the question. It was a universally known fact that Sara fell short in that department and that Neal did ninety percent of the food preparation in the Caffrey household. The guests, including Sara, had all made valiant efforts to ingest some very dry, overcooked roast beef which they’d managed to drown in the watery gravy Sara had served.Only Liam, in hearing that his mom was on cooking duty had been clever enough to escape by heading over to his boyfriend’s place for dinner.

‘You missed a _great_ meal, Neal’ Sam said with a bright smile and a sly wink.

‘There’s some leftovers…’ Sara began as Neal shook his head.

‘It’s okay, babe…They… they gave me a sandwich down at the police station’ Neal said with relief.

Beatrice’s screams of joy were heard as she got to the bottom of the bag of goodies her Uncle Neal had brought her which included a book, some art supplies and a bag of candy – gummy worms, her absolute favourite.

‘You have to ask your mom and dad before you have the candy, though’ Neal admonished, passing along the odious task to her parents.

‘Fine, you can have some’ Lydia said as she looked at her daughter’s expectant face. ‘But share them with Caitlin.’

The kids retreated to the family room while Neal took his place at the dining room table, gratefully accepting a hot cup of coffee from his wife.

‘So? What happened?’ she asked, eager to hear what had transpired.

‘Well, I was able to draw them a sketch of the guy and they’re running him through face recognition but they think this had something to do with Brenda Foster’s job at Homeland Security’ Neal explained.

‘What do you mean? Like some sort of a spy thing?’ Lydia asked, intrigued.

Neal shrugged. ‘I don’t know. But they said she was privy to some highly sensitive information and the theory is she might have been involved in selling intel….’

‘Wow!’ Sara said. ‘You mean, like to foreign interests?’

‘Maybe…’ Neal answered as he glanced over to make sure Caitlin and Bea were out of ear range and he let his voice drop. ‘Apparently, she was beaten… like they were trying to get information out of her but in the end… they shot her in the head, execution style.’

Neal watched the horrified faces around the table.‘All I know is that it went from a local police matter to some hyped up Federal investigation within an hour.Suddenly, Homeland Security was involved and by the time I left, it seemed like they were running the show.’

‘I hope that doesn’t put you in any danger…’ Sara said, sounding worried.

‘I’m sure it’s fine’ Neal said with a reassuring smile. 

‘So, is that it for you?’ Sam asked.

‘I suppose… unless they need to question me again’ Neal said, glad to finally be home. 

The couples continued to chat, long past the end of the movie. And while Beatrice Jordan snoozed on the couch next to a sleeping Caitlin, they were all oblivious to the car that was parked a few houses down, eyes trained on the Caffrey home.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Caitlin Somersby’s arrival on Meadowbrook Street five months earlier had resulted in a total realignment of the dynamics in the Ellis-Caffrey family. Over the summer months, while Hope had been home from university, Neal had moved his (and Hope’s) studio to the June Ellington School of Art while they added a third bedroom up in the attic of their modest home. 

By August, Hope had moved into her new room on the third floor, somewhat reluctantly relinquishing her old bedroom to the newcomer. Not that Hope didn’t _like_ Caitlin – she did – but the teenager’s appearance in their daily lives had shaken up the whole family, particularly her dad and Hope was nothing if not fiercely protective of her dad. 

Hope and Neal had always had a symbiotic relationship; he’d done right by her since the moment she’d been placed in his arms and in Hope’s eyes, her dad could do no wrong. And yet, the arrival of this young girl in their lives had shaken something loose in him, making him more vulnerable than she’d ever seen him and Hope had watched in dismay as Neal struggled with how best to deal with the teen.

The fifteen-year-old had lived a very tumultuous life, moving from one foster home to another, with a couple of stints in group homes for good measure. She’d never had the chance to live in a ‘normal’ family environment. Consequently, she challenged the rules laid out by Neal and Sara at every turn, always looking to cut corners, using tactics Neal had immediately recognized – almost as if she’d ripped a page out of his very own playbook. 

He’d lived at home until the age of 18 although his mom’s inability to properly care for him had forced him to become independent at a much younger age. Without proper guidance, Neal had drifted into a life without structure, without rules, where survival and instant gratification were his only motivations. Although he’d managed to get by on his good looks and innate charm, it had been a rough and lonely life and he’d run into his fair share of unsavoury characters as he’d gradually been lured into a life of petty crime. But petty crimes had gradually escalated to bigger schemes and more elaborate cons and Neal had learned to use his particular skillset to outsmart the system – constantly trying to circumvent situations to get something for nothing… well, nothing but the total exploitation of his charismatic smile and silver tongue.

Caitlin’s motives were the same but she depended on her grit and sharp wit to get by and although her methods were slightly different from Neal’s, the result was the inevitably the same:a slow and steady descent into a life of crime which could only end one way – as Neal well knew.

Sara had watched with concern as Neal’s relationship with Caitlin evolved over time. Although he’d been the one to suggest they take her into their home in order to provide the stability and guidance she so badly needed, he’d grown increasingly frustrated as he watched her fritter away one opportunity after another. More than anything, he wanted her to avoid the long, circuitous road _he_ had taken to getting his life on track. He’d given up almost twenty years of his adult life to his own personal struggle, aimlessly drifting from one con to the next before his free wheeling existence had been rudely interrupted by a four-year sentence for bond forgery – the least of his sins. He couldn’t understand why Caitlin wouldn’t welcome this unique opportunity to get her life on track, especially since she’d been blessed with unique potential as an artist.

Sara, on the other hand, had been a witness to Neal’s gradual metamorphosis, watching over the years as Peter worked with Neal to pry him away from a life of crime. Neal had fought him tooth and nail, reverting to his old ways over and over again, intent on getting ‘something’ for nothing while Peter, not always patiently, waited for Neal to figure things out for himself. Although she’d be lying if she said she hadn’t been attracted to the bad boy in Neal, Sara had known that their relationship could never progress to the next level if Neal didn’t make some fundamental changes to his view of life and she’d waited patiently while he’d struggled with which priorities would guide his actions. It had taken her unexpected pregnancy and the looming arrival of an innocent baby to finally bring Neal to step away from the lure of life on the wrong side of the tracks. To expect Caitlin to come to such a realization at her tender young age was unrealistic and Sara had reluctantly been called on to play the role of buffer between the ex-conman and the young teen as he continued to struggle with her – or was that his – imperfections.

Sara sat across from Liam and Caitlin on Saturday morning as she waited for Neal to make an appearance. 

‘So, what are you two up to this weekend?’ she asked as Liam looked up somewhat groggily from his bowl of cereal.

‘Cody and I are going to a movie with a bunch of kids from the GSA tonight’ he answered before adding. ‘Mom, can I get a ride to school, I’ve got a basketball practice at 11:00?’

‘Sure’ Sara answered. ‘Dad and I are meeting Uncle Peter and Aunt Elizabeth at noon but we could drop you off before we head out. What about you, Caitlin?’

Trying to keep Caitlin engaged in ‘safe’ and productive activities was half the job of keeping her out of trouble and yet the teen seemed to be fighting it every inch of the way.

‘I don’t know…’ she answered as she stood to get a glass of juice from the fridge. ‘I might drop in at the gallery and help Cam with the kid’s art class.’

‘Well, you _should_ be buckling down on some math homework; you’ve got an exam coming up next week’ came Neal’s voice as he appeared in the kitchen, freshly showered.

Sara watched as Caitlin rolled her eyes. ‘Whatever…’

She noticed Neal’s face harden and before he could add anything to further escalate the situation, Sara spoke up.

‘You know, you could probably do both…’ she ventured. ‘If you want, we could drop you off at the gallery on our way to brunch and remember, Olivia Mason offered to tutor you in math.Donna mentioned she had some free time this afternoon.’

Neal listened as his wife spoke, nodding in agreement. He gave Liam a questioning look and Liam knew where his dad was going.

‘You could come to the movie with us, if you want’ Liam said, rather unenthusiastically.

Liam had a busy life as a star basketball player for White Plains District High and he spent most of his free time with his best friend Will Allenby or over at his boyfriend Cody’s place. Having Caitlin in the house was more of a nuisance than anything else and, at his parents’ urging, he tried to involve Caitlin with his group of friends whenever he could although, admittedly, she didn’t make things easy.

‘What are you guys going to see?’ asked Caitlin, looking blasé.

‘Haven’t decided’ her responded.

Caitlin shrugged as she looked from Liam to Neal.

‘I guess…’ she murmured with a small smile which did not escape Sara’s scrutiny.

‘There you go, then. It’s all set’ she said as she stood.

WCWCWC

‘Honey, you’ve got to give her some space’ Sara said as Neal navigated the traffic in Manhattan.

They had just dropped off their two offspring and were headed to a café in Brooklyn where they were meeting El and Peter for brunch.

Neal let out a flustered sigh.‘She just… she pushes my buttons’ he declared.

Sara’s hand went to his thigh, giving it a soft pat. ‘I know it’s not easy… believe me’ she muttered. ‘But Caitlin’s never had to deal with rules and expectations. Nobody’s ever cared enough about her to give her any limits… and she’s learning to adjust.’

‘I suppose…’ Neal responded, unconvinced. ‘Doesn’t she see what a unique opportunity she’s got living with us?’

‘No, Neal. She doesn’t. She’s fifteen years old and she’s mad at the world and it’s going to take more than a few months to bring her around. You, of all people, should understand that.’

She watched Neal’s face as it softened somewhat. Logically, he understood what Sara was saying but his reactions were visceral and he was finding it increasingly difficult to hide his frustration as the teen continually rebelled.

Neal parked the car and turned to face his wife. ‘Do you think we made a mistake… taking her in?’ he asked unexpectedly.

Sara surprised herself with the spontaneity of her response. ‘No! Of course not!’ she said as she studied the uncertainty in Neal’s eyes. ‘Do you?’

‘I don’t know… Sometimes, it feels like we’re flogging a dead horse’ he admitted, looking defeated.

‘Honey… did you always listen to Peter back then?’ she asked, knowing full well the answer to her question.

Neal sighed loudly and shook his head.

‘How did you guys ever put up with my shenanigans?’ he asked with a soft smile.

Sara leaned in to gently kiss his lips. ‘It’s that Caffrey charm… gets you every time’ she said with a wink.

Within moments they were seated in a small café not too far from the Burkes’ home, waiting for El and Peter to arrive. Peter had met with his urologist on the previous day and the Caffreys were anxious to hear how he’d gotten on. Peter’s longstanding tango with prostate cancer had begun years before but he’d been monitored regularly and up until recently, things had been stable.

They watched from the booth as Peter drove up and parked nearby, stepping out of the car and looking every one of his sixty-seven years as he took El’s arm and ambled up to the front door of the restaurant. It suddenly struck Neal that they were both getting on in age and that ill health could claim them at any time. He hoped the news they were about to hear was good news; they could use good news for a change. 

WCWCWC

Caitlin took out her house key as she balanced the large math textbook against her hip. Thank god for Olivia Mason, math enthusiast and master tutor. Hope’s best friend was in her second year at NYU studying economics and she’d been a godsend to Hope over the years as she’d struggled with all things ‘math’. Now, Caitlin was benefitting from the young woman’s expertise and Neal and Sara had agreed to pay for private tutoring so Caitlin could pass her math class.

She stopped, key poised to unlock the door as she heard noises coming from inside the house. A second glance in the driveway confirmed that Neal and Sara were still out and she could have sworn Liam was over at Will’s. She slowly turned the key in the lock and the door opened suddenly as she came face to face with a large man glaring down at her with a look of surprise.

‘What…’ Caitlin began as the man grabbed her arm and pulled her into the house.

‘Shut up’ he said as he pushed her roughly into the living room.

Caitlin looked around at the decimated room, furniture askew, couch slashed open and her eyes fell on a second man, holding a knife in his hands as he sliced open the back of an armchair.

Both men stood, staring her down as she took a few steps back.

‘I have a message for your dad’ said the second man as he stepped closer, knife still firmly in his grasp. ‘You tell him we know he has it and we want the merchandise by the end of the day tomorrow or this…’ he said as he pointed to the living room ‘…is what we’re going to do to the rest of his house.’

Caitlin watched, her eyes wide as her legs began to tremble, unable to find her voice as she stood, paralysed.

‘And tell him, no police or someone’s going to get hurt’ said the larger of the two men as they skulked away, using the front door as their escape route.

Within seconds, the two men had disappeared, leaving a terrified young woman behind, unable to move. It took a few seconds but Caitlin stumbled back before getting her footing and making a run for the phone.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

‘Hey!’ Neal said as he stood to greet El and Peter.

The newly arrived Burkes sat across from Neal and Sara as the waitress appeared to take their order. Neal was attuned to his best friend’s behaviour, knew all his tells and he could immediately sense tension as Peter sat back, his arm casually draped across the back of the booth.

‘Have you guys been waiting long?’ Elizabeth asked.

‘Just a few minutes. We had to drop Liam off at school for a basketball practice and then we drove to the gallery and dropped Caitlin off’ Sara explained.

‘Oh, is she going to help Cameron with the class this morning?’ Peter asked.

He could see Neal’s face as it fell and he continued. ‘You know, Neal, I think she has a real knack with kids.’

‘Oh, do you John Dewey?’ Neal answered sarcastically as Sara glared at him.

‘Peter’s right’ she concurred. ‘You should have seen her the other night with little Bea. She’s a natural!’

Neal stared down at his cup of coffee, somewhat embarrassed by his inappropriately caustic comment. Sara was right; when had it become so hard for him to see the good in his foster daughter?

El looked uncomfortably at her best friend across the table; talking about Caitlin and her antics seemed to be one of their most frequent topics of conversation lately. Her first few months in the Caffrey home had been enough to test the patience of a saint and yet, they had all managed to muddle through, despite the odds to the contrary.

Neal, still a master at deflection, looked up at Peter, eager to change the subject.

‘We’ve been dying to hear…’ he said, hoping his choice of words wasn’t premonitory. ‘How did it go with Dr. Samuels?’

El and Peter exchanged a brief glance and suddenly, Elizabeth’s hand was on her husband’s.

‘Well, I guess I’ve finally run out of time…’ Peter began as Neal leaned forward, his face worried.‘Sorry, bad choice of words. I mean… this tumour has finally decided to make its presence known.’

Elizabeth looked from Neal to Sara. ‘They want to operate… and remove Peter’s prostate’ she explained, her face tense.

‘Oh, Peter. I’m sorry’ Sara said as she instinctively moved closer to Neal.

‘Yeah’ Neal added. ‘We were hoping it wouldn’t come to that.’

‘Well, it’s been a very slow growing tumour but Dr. Samuels is sufficiently concerned about it at this point. He says it’s best to remove it altogether. But the good news is, the cancer hasn’t spread outside the prostate so…’ Peter explained, trying to sound upbeat.

‘So… how soon are they going to do this?’ Neal asked.

‘As soon as they can get me in. But it could take a month or so…’ Peter said as Elizabeth squeezed his hand.

‘So, how long will you have to be in hospital?’ Sara asked.

‘Probably 2 to 5 days… and then recovery takes about six weeks’ Elizabeth explained.

‘We’ll have to figure out what to do about the gallery…’ Peter began as Neal interrupted.

‘Don’t you worry about the gallery, Peter. That’s the least of my worries… the important thing is that you take care of this so you can… you know… get back to living your life as soon as possible.’

Peter smiled a small smile, obviously eager to change the subject. Before he had a chance to say anything else, the waitress had returned with their order and the discussion had moved on to Hope, Liam, the gossip from the White Collar unit, Elizabeth’s latest clients. 

By the time their plates were finally empty and their bellies full, the conversation had returned to the case of the mysterious dead woman and the new information Peter had been able to glean from his discussions with his buddies at NYPD. The word was that Brenda Foster had been deep in debt and ripe for the picking when the Chinese government came looking for a weak link at Homeland Security. She had agreed to sell top secret information to China but North Korea had come knocking, eager to outbid the Chinese for the top secret intel. The poor woman had been caught in a dangerous game of ‘highest bidder’ when someone had gotten fed up with the bidding war and had demanded the illicit goods. 

The man Neal had briefly locked horns with in the alley had been identified as an operative working for the Chinese government and he’d been trying to pry the information from the not so innocent woman when Neal had intervened.

‘Why would they kill her, though?’ Neal asked.

‘Beats me. Maybe they finally got what they were looking for and just didn’t want to leave any loose ends’ Peter answered as the women listened.

‘Wow! International intrigue right in our backyard. I thought this kind of stuff only happened in movies’ Sara said.

‘Unfortunately, covert exchange of information happens all too often. The kind of money foreign governments are ready to spend on intel is astronomical… it’s hard to resist’ Peter remarked as the waitress arrived with their bill.

‘So, dinner next weekend?’ El said, breaking the sombre mood. ‘Our place?’

‘You’re on’ answered Sara.

WCWCWC

Neal and Sara sat side by side in the car, heading back to White Plains as they argued about who was going to draw the short straw and do the grocery run. They both hated carrying out the boring task and always tried to get out of it by bargaining special favours with each other – with Sara most often the winner. 

Sara had put a night of uninterrupted ‘romance’ on the table and Neal was playing hard ball, trying to get her to up the ante by agreeing to wear her sexy leather bustier. He was about to counter with one of Sara’s favourite meals when the phone rang and they glanced down at the display, a smile erupting on both their faces.

‘Hey sweet pea’ Neal called out as he switched the hands free on. ‘I’m in the car with Mom.’

‘Hey Mom!’ came Hope’s familiar voice.

‘Hi sweetheart’ Sara answered with a soft smile. ‘How’s the studying going?’

They could hear a long sigh on the other end of the line. ‘All right, I guess. It’s just… this music elective. It’s driving me crazy. There’s going to be an audio part on the exam and I’m having a lot of trouble distinguishing between the Baroque period and the Classical period.’

‘Well, honey, just remember that music from the Baroque period is a lot more complex. The classical period was much lighter, it has more of a melody line and if you hear harpsichord, that’s definitely Baroque; piano didn’t appear until the classical period.’

‘Oh yeah…’ Hope said as Neal gave his wife an impressed look. Although she hadn’t played the cello since she was in her twenties, she had obviously not forgotten her music history.

‘How’s your new sculpture coming along?’ Neal asked.

‘All right… I’m almost done but Daddy, if I text you a picture, could you have a look at it and let me know what you think?’

‘Of course sweetie. I can do that’ he replied with a smile.

‘And Daddy, don’t go easy on me, this thing is worth 30% of my final mark’ Hope warned.

‘Okay, honey, I promise to be _really_ hard on you’ Neal said as Hope laughed at the other end, releasing some of the tension that had been obvious in her voice.

Neal glanced over at Sara who was wiping a tear. It was still hard for her to have their daughter so far away. He reached for her hand and squeezed it as Sara took a deep breath and swallowed the sudden, unexpected lump in her throat. 

‘Thanksgiving is only a few weeks away’ she managed to say before her voice quivered.

‘I can’t _wait_ to come home’ Hope said. ‘Dad, are you going to make pumpkin pies?’

‘When have I _not_ make pumpkin pies for Thanksgiving?’ he responded with a laugh.

There was silence on the line and Hope finally spoke up tentatively.

‘Hum… how’s Cameron doing?’ she asked – and suddenly the main reason for her call seemed to come to light.

Neal raised his eyebrows and glanced over at Sara who was smiling broadly.

‘He’s good. It’s busy at the gallery and he’s taking some graduate courses this semester’ Neal volunteered.

‘Oh, that’s nice…’ Hope said and her parents knew she was dying to know if he was seeing anyone. 

Somehow, she refrained from asking the question and within seconds, the call ended and Hope was gone just as quickly as she’d appeared. Sara’s tears were flowing freely now and Neal pulled the car over and opened up his arms to her as she melted in his side.

‘Tell you what’ he said as he placed a soft kiss on the top of her head. ‘Why don’t we do the grocery shopping together and I will make you an amazing meal and you can parade around in your leather bustier while the kids are out… that way, we both win.’

Sara smiled through the tears; Neal could still make her laugh after all this time.

‘Sounds like a plan’ she said.

WCWCWC

Neal and Sara wandered down the produce aisle, playfully teasing each other as they threw the necessary ingredients for a special meal into their grocery basket. They hadn’t gone grocery shopping together in years and they were enjoying sharing the misery of the boring, mundane task. Neal had just playfully cornered Sara up against the display of Moroccan clementines when the phone in Sara’s purse went off, forcing him to momentarily back off.

‘Hello?’ she answered, noting their home number on the screen.

Sara’s face grew serious as she heard Caitlin’s shaky voice. Caitlin Somersby was fearless – well, she _pretended_ to be fearless. The sound of her quivering voice was unlike anything Sara had heard since the teen had come into their lives.

‘Honey, what is it?’ Sara asked as Neal looked up from squeezing a cantaloupe.

‘All right, calm down. Go to the Masons right now and stay there and wait for us. We’ll be right home’ she said.

To Neal’s unspoken question, Sara looked up and spoke. ‘There’s been some sort of break-in at home.’

WCWCWC

Caitlin stood just inside the front door of the Masons’ house, watching as cars came up and down the street. Donna Mason stood behind her, hand on her shoulder as they waited for the Caffreys to return.

‘Are you sure you don’t want something to drink, Caitlin’ asked the kind neighbour.

‘No… no. Thank you’ said Caitlin, eyes riveted on the street.

‘I still think we should call the police’ said Donna.

‘NO! Don’t… please’ said Caitlin, turning to look at the woman. ‘I want to wait to talk to Sara and Mr. C first’ she said as a familiar car finally came around the corner.

‘They’re home!’ she said, turning to look briefly at Donna Mason. ‘Thank you for letting me stay here.’

Donna watched as Caitlin ran towards the Caffrey house in hot pursuit of Neal and Sara who were turning into their driveway, three houses down.

‘Sara!’ Caitlin called out as she ran into her arms in an unusual show of emotion.

‘Stay here’ Neal said as he made his way to their front door.

He was totally unprepared for what he saw when he walked in. Their living room looked like a war zone. Furniture lay broken, the couches were slashed open with stuffing all over the floor, a lamp lay smashed in a thousand pieces and the eerie silence in the room only added an air of surrealism to the scene. He walked to the back of the house, noting that everything seemed intact in the dining room as well as the kitchen and family room - although the patio door had been forced open, obviously the point of entry for the intruders.

Satisfied that no one was in the house, Neal made his way back to the front door to find Sara standing there with her arm around a shaking Caitlin.

‘You can come in’ he said, his voice empty.

Sara looked over the damage, her breathing audible in the quiet room, her arms still firmly around Caitlin’s shoulder.

‘Oh, my God!’ she uttered as she took in the mess.

‘They don’t seem to have touched anything else…’ Neal concluded. ‘They broke in through the patio door.’

His eyes went to Caitlin’s face, so frightened, and he suddenly saw her as a little girl in need of protection and not the smart-ass teenager he was used to seeing. He made his way over to the two women and he put a protective arm around Caitlin as he led her to the back of the house and sat her down on the couch in the family room, with Sara glued to her side.

He made his way to the refrigerator and pulled out some juice, taking the time to pour a glass and walking over to join them on the couch.

‘Here, have some of this’ he said patiently as he waited for Caitlin to recover before he began his inquisition.

She took the glass from him, her hands shaking and she took a good long sip, her eyes moving nervously around the room.

‘It’s okay honey, they’re gone’ Neal said with authority in an attempt to keep her calm. ‘Do you want to tell me what happened?’

Caitlin’s gaze moved to look at Neal’s face, her bright blue eyes peeking out from under her blond bangs, suddenly looking so vulnerable.

‘I came back from the Masons and when I tried to unlock the door, someone opened it…’ she began as Neal and Sara waited patiently on either side of her.

‘It was a big, big guy… he looked like a sumo wrestler’ she said, her voice quiet.

‘He was Asian?’ Neal asked as Caitlin nodded.

‘He grabbed me and pulled me in and…. that’s when I saw the other guy…’

‘The other guy?’ Neal asked.

Caitlin nodded. There was another guy with a knife in his hands and he was slashing the furniture…’

‘Was he Asian too?’ Neal asked.

‘Yes… but he was not as big as the first guy but… he had that knife in his hands and he was… waving it in my face…’

Sara and Neal exchanged worried looks; Caitlin shouldn’t have had to go through that all by herself. 

‘They were so mean…’ she said, her voice unsteady, as she looked from Neal to Sara.

Sara squeezed Caitlin’s shoulder in a show of support and the teen gave her a small smile in response.

‘Did they say anything to you?’ Neal asked.

Caitlin nodded and took another large gulp of juice. ‘They said to tell my dad… tell _you_ , I guess, that they wanted their merchandise by the end of the day tomorrow or they would… do what they did in the living room to the rest of the house.’

Neal stood and made a move for the phone.

‘NO! Don’t!’ Caitlin cried out as she stood to follow him.‘They said if you call the police… someone would get hurt.’

Neal looked at Sara, unsure what their next move should be.Although he wasn’t quite certain how or why, he had managed to get himself involved in this ugly situation with Brenda Foster and now, his family was being threatened.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

The sombre looking foursome sat at the kitchen table with the remnants of a plateful of sandwiches before them. Neal had his sketch pad balanced on his lap, pencil in hand as Caitlin leaned in, giving him directions as he drew.

‘No. His face was a little wider’ she instructed as Neal brought the necessary correction to drawing he’d been working on.

‘And, his beard was not as….full, I guess’ she said.

Liam took a sip of juice, staring over his glass at his mom whose face was taut, worry lines apparent on her forehead. She made a move to stand in order to start tidying up and he put a hand on hers to get her attention.

‘It’s okay Mom, I’ll do it’ he said sweetly as she gave him a forced smile.

He had just gotten up and grabbed for the glasses which sat empty on the table when the front door opened in the distance. Everyone’s body tensed momentarily as they waited for the newcomer to identify himself.

‘Neal?’ they heard, followed by an unholy ‘Holy shit!’

‘We’re in the kitchen, Moz!’ Neal called out as the little man appeared, shaking his head.

‘You weren’t kidding about the mess!’ Mozzie exclaimed as he took a spot at the table and immediately helped himself to half a chicken sandwich that sat on the half-eaten platter.

‘Well, you should have seen it before we gave it the once over’ Neal said, turning to face Caitlin and Liam. ‘Guys, go throw a few things in an overnight bag.’

‘But, Dad…’ Liam began.

‘Go! Bring enough stuff for a couple of days just in case’ Neal said, his voice unusually stern.

Once he’d gotten his bearings, Neal had concluded that the first thing he had to do was get the kids away from any potential danger. He wanted them away from the house while he tried to figure out what to do next. It was obvious these thugs were professionals and he wasn’t about to put Liam and Caitlin at risk. 

Sara was the only holdout, refusing to leave the house without Neal. He’d tried to get her to go stay at Peter and El’s for a couple of days while he got everything sorted out but she’d flat out refused – and when Sara Ellis dug her heels in, there was no point in fighting her.

‘So, what’s the plan?’ Mozzie asked between bites once the kids had gone upstairs.

‘Peter’s on his way over. These guys threatened to hurt someone if I didn’t hand over what they’re looking for…’

‘And you _still_ don’t know why they think you have whatever it is they’re looking for?’ Mozzie asked.

Neal shook his head. He’d been going over his brief encounter with Brenda Foster over and over in his mind and he couldn’t for the life of him figure out how he and his family had become targets in this sordid affair. 

‘Coffee?’ Sara asked Mozzie as she stood to pour herself a cup.

‘Wine?’ Mozzie answered as he pointed to an unopened bottle on the kitchen counter.

Neal and Sara’s evening of dinner and romance had been rudely interrupted by the break-in and the lovely bottle of Gattinara they’d picked up earlier sat nearby, a stark reminder of what might have been.

‘You’re driving!’ she reminded Mozzie as he gave her a dirty look.

‘What do you suppose it is – some flash drive or maybe some files?’ he asked.

Neal let out a pained sigh. ‘I have _absolutely_ no idea…’ he mused.

‘Are you sure it’s safe for you to stay here?’ Mozzie asked, resigned to the cup of coffee Sara had placed in front of him.

‘Peter’s already got people watching the house’ Neal said, looking totally done in.

Whatever mysterious package Brenda Foster had arranged to hand over to the thugs had seemingly disappeared into thin air – if the state of the woman’s apartment was anything to go by. He sure as hell didn’t want his home to be given the same treatment. 

There was a rumbling noise at the front of the house as the kids came down the stairs and reappeared, each carrying a back pack.

Liam walked over to his mom and gave her an impromptu hug. ‘I don’t understand why we can’t all stay here… with you’ he muttered.

‘Honey, just do what your dad says. We’ll be fine’ Sara said reassuringly, as she ruffled his hair.‘As soon as it’s safe, you can come home.’

Mozzie stood and put an arm around his godson.‘Come on, buddy.I’ll even let you choose which safe house you want to go to’ he said cheerfully as Caitlin frowned.

Despite Neal’s efforts to keep her from knowing too much about Mozzie’s illicit extracurricular affairs, Caitlin had always known there was something ‘special’ about Liam’s Uncle Moz and she was glad to finally be getting a peek into the little man’s secret life.

‘Don’t worry… I’ll keep them safe’ Mozzie said as he prepared to leave.

Neal stood to hug Liam, then Caitlin and he and Sara walked the threesome out to the front door, watching winsomely as they all climbed into Mozzie’s old VW van. 

The nerves Sara had been trying to control finally got the best of her and she turned towards Neal, wrapping her arms around his back as he reciprocated, pulling her in.

‘We’ll figure it out’ he whispered into her hair.

WCWCWC

‘Thanks’ Neal said as he walked the handyman to the door. ‘We appreciate you coming out on a Saturday night.’

The damage done to the patio door had to be dealt with promptly, considering the glass had been shattered, letting in the cool November air. Now that there wasn’t broken glass all over the family room, the place was beginning to look normal again.

Peter and Elizabeth sat alongside Sara at the kitchen table, waiting for Neal to return. Their visit, although it could be perceived as a social call to the casual observer, was anything but _that_ on this Saturday evening.

The bottle of wine which Neal and Sara had intended to share over a nice dinner had been emptied and the two couples were halfway through the second bottle – a Merlot this time – that the Burkes had brought over to help take the edge off everyone’s nerves.

‘Your guys are really fading into the scenery. I couldn’t even spot them’ Neal said as he took his seat next to his wife.

‘They’re keeping a low profile considering the threat your two intruders made’ Peter answered.

Although he was no longer an active agent, Peter had managed to pull a few strings at the Bureau and he’d gotten some agents to set up and keep on eye on the Caffrey house until they all figured out the next course of action.

‘So…’ he continued, glancing down at the two sketches laying on the table, ‘…neither one of these guys is the man you saw in the alley?’

Neal shook his head.‘No, they must be the North Koreans they told us about.’

‘Great! Now, we’ve got both sides closing in on you…’ Peter said, seeing Sara’s face tense up and immediately regretting his comment.

‘Sara, why don’t you come home with us?’ Elizabeth asked for the second time.

‘I told you, I’m not going if Neal doesn’t come’ she responded, exactly as she had a few minutes earlier. 

‘Honey, I need to stay here in case they try to make contact. I need to figure out what it is they’re looking for before they rip the house apart. I’ll be fine with the people Peter has watching the house’ Neal said, leaning in.

‘Then I’m staying with you’ Sara said, taking his hand and putting on a brave face.

‘Neal, I still think we need to let Homeland Security know what’s going on’ Peter said.

‘What if they try to make a move on one of the kids…. No! I want to make contact with them and find out what it is they want’ Neal repeated.

WCWCWC

The bed creaked as Neal settled in beside Sara. It had been a very unusual day only made stranger by the fact that they were going to bed in their house, separated from Liam and Caitlin.Mozzie had called using one of his many untraceable burner phones to let Neal know, cryptically of course, that they were ensconced at his safe house in Flemington, Pennsylvania, an hour and a half away from New York – a good choice Neal thought.

The couple settled in each other’s arms, paralyzed for a moment as they heard the sound of the house settling, an usually innocuous noise which on this occasion didn’t sound quite so innocent.

Sara settled in Neal’s arms, her face against his chest as he lay there, arms wrapped snugly around her.

‘How did we get ourselves into this mess?’ she whispered as Neal gave a small sarcastic laugh.

‘Just lucky, I guess’ he murmured back.

Sara squeezed him tighter, searching for comfort. ‘Neal, maybe we _should_ go to the Feds, let them know what’s happened.’

‘No!’ Neal answered a little more harshly than he’d meant to. ‘What good is that going to do when we don’t even know what it is these animals want? If we go to the police, they might make good on their threat.’

Although his voice was strong and self-assured, Neal had no idea whether or not he was making the right decision. He only knew that if he could find out more about what they were looking for, he might be able to talk his way out of the situation and that way, he could keep his family safe.

The phone rang and the two of them let out a loud gasp at the sudden sound. Neal sat up straight as an arrow, turning on the bedside lamp and grabbing for the phone as Sara watched him intently.

‘Hello’ he said tentatively.

‘Peter! You just about gave us a coronary!’ Neal said as he let his head drop back on the pillow.

‘No, nothing’ he answered to some question Peter had just posed.

‘Look, we’re fine. Now, let us get some sleep and I’ll call you in the morning’ he said curtly – his impatient tone an obvious testament to his frayed nerves.

He settled back in, his body exhausted although his mind just wouldn’t let go. It would be hours before he followed Sara’s lead and finally drifted off to sleep.

WCWCWC

Sunday was spent on tender hooks, cleaning up the rest of the mess in the living room while somewhere nearby, federal agents kept an eye on the house on Meadowbrook Street. There was no way Sara and Neal were having the kids come back to the mess the men had made and they worked diligently all day to clean up the living room and get rid of the debris they’d left behind.

Peter called, trying to talk Neal into going with him to the Federal Building but as the deadline the men had given them loomed, Neal became even more adamant that he should wait them out.

By the time Sunday evening rolled around, Neal was on high alert – the thugs had told Caitlin that he had until Sunday night to hand over the merchandise and yet they hadn’t made contact with him by the time he and Sara settled into bed. Despite his intention to stay up and wait, he followed Sara up to bed and the two of them settled, finding sleep rather quickly after a long day of manual labor.

The crashing sound of broken glass woke Neal and he sat up suddenly, unsure whether or not he’d dreamt the loud noise, considering Sara lay there, her sleep undisturbed. He grabbed for the baseball bat he had brought in from the garage and stood, tiptoeing towards the staircase to investigate. Maybe it was all in his mind, he thought, as silence returned to the house.

He skulked down the stairs, ears attuned to any unusual sounds and as he made it to first floor landing, he had a fleeting sensation of cool air against his bare chest. Before he could make sense of the strange sensation, he was aware of a lurking presence nearby and suddenly everything went completely black as he crumpled to the ground.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Neal came to, his head throbbing and an insistently annoying ringing in his ears. He pried his eyes open, noting he was lying at the bottom of the stairs right by the front door and it took him a minute to remember how he’d ended up there, face down on the hardwood floor. He blinked, noticing faint light coming through the living room window as he pushed himself up with his shaking arms. The sun was coming up – how long had he been lying there?

His first coherent thought was of Sara, asleep upstairs and he struggled to get to his feet as he mumbled her name under his breath. He wiped his forehead, the familiar scent of blood filling his nostrils as he stumbled to the staircase, grabbing the bannister firmly and pulling himself up as fast as his legs would allow.

‘Sara!’ he called out, anxious to lay eyes on his wife.

His voice was met with silence and he sped up, taking the steps two at a time as a horrible, foreboding feeling came over him.

‘Sara!’ he screamed louder as he made it to the top of the stairs and turned the corner into their bedroom. 

The sight of the empty bed in the early morning light caught him totally unprepared and panic took over as his breathing became laboured.

‘SARA!’ he screamed. Maybe she was just in the bathroom… 

He stepped on something wet as he reached out for the bedside lamp, a vaguely familiar odour filling the room. With the benefit of light, he picked up the rag he’d just stepped on and examined it, the unmistakeable odour of chloroform evident as his worst fears began to take root. 

‘NO!’ he yelled out to no one as he began to grasp what had happened while he’d been lying, useless, on the front hall floor. 

He did a quick search of the upstairs, running from Caitlin’s room to Liam’s room in the hope that he would somehow find his wife there, although he knew deep down that she had somehow been taken away, right under his nose.

He ran down the stairs, staggering from the pain in his head and began a similar investigation of the main floor, finding everything as they’d left it the night before except for the newly installed patio door which had once again been shattered, shards of glass all over the floor. 

Neal stumbled to the phone on the kitchen counter, his mind numb, his worse fears coming true as he managed to get his hands to stop shaking long enough to dial the Burke home, the clock on the top of the stovetop the only light in the room. 

Peter’s groggy voice came on the line, almost as if he’d been expecting Neal’s call and Peter’s blood ran cold as he heard Neal’s voice.

‘Peter, they were here again… The took Sara’ Neal managed to say, his voice choked.

‘No!’ came the answer and Neal could hear rustling as Peter likely got out of bed and began to move around.

‘Where were your men, Peter? Where were your _goddam_ men?’ Neal shouted angrily into the phone, all sense of propriety now absent from his voice.

‘Are you hurt?’ Peter asked from miles away in Brooklyn.

‘No… they knocked me out. I found a rag with chloroform in our room and now…. Sara’s gone.Peter…’ Neal said, his voice halting.

‘I’ll be right there. I’m calling the police’ Peter warned.

‘DON’T. YOU. DARE!’ Neal screamed as his breathing began to falter.

Peter was breathing heavily at the other end, shock setting in. ‘I’m letting the detail know, they’ll probably come to the door. Let them in’ Peter said, his voice authoritative.

Before Neal could protest, Peter was gone and Neal was left alone in a much too quiet house to think about what had just happened.He grabbed on to the kitchen chair and let himself fall before he managed to pull himself up, eager to get back upstairs to see if the intruders had left a note.

He could hear his cell phone vibrating on the nearby kitchen counter where he’d left it to recharge and his eyes went forebodingly to the screen, afraid of what he might find there.

‘ _Now do you understand we mean business’_ Neal read as his eyes widened.

His hands shook violently as he clicked on the attachment, fear griping him as he forced himself to look at his beautiful Sara, sitting on a chair, arms tied behind her back, head flopping forward, eyes closed with a large welt under one eye. She was wearing the t-shirt and yoga pants she’d worn to bed the night before and he could see blood on the front of her shirt as her head drooped lifelessly.

He tried to keep breathing as he let out a loud gasp followed by a soulless moan that came unbidden from deep inside his gut. He leaned over, unable to stay upright any longer and without warning his stomach lurched and he proceeded to throw up at his feet, an uncensored whimpering sound coming from his constricted throat.

WCWCWC

As special agent in charge of the detail which had been deployed to the Caffrey home, Clinton Jones arrived shortly after 7:00 to investigate what had happened. Although the case was off book, Neal was still a part-time employee of the Federal Bureau, helping out on cases from time to time and by that token, he was entitled to protection as needed from the White Collar Unit.Peter watched as an irate Jones questioned the agents who had been entrusted with Neal and Sara’s safety, the senior agent’s voice loud enough to be heard echoing throughout the house.

The break-in had been professionally staged and the intruders had come in from one of the neighbours’ yards, moving stealthily without being spotted by the surveillance detail which had been positioned in two cars at the front of the house.

Neal sat, still in shock at the kitchen table with both Peter and Elizabeth at his side as Jones proceeded to chastise the four men who had been on duty.

‘Peter…’ Neal said, his voice quiet and broken. ‘Make them leave.’

No matter the explanations or the apologies, it was too late for Sara who was now in the clutches of ruthless men on a godless mission.

Peter stood and made his way to the group of men, some he knew from his time at the Bureau and he led them out, asking Jones to finish his tongue lashing elsewhere.

‘I’m sorry Caffrey’ Jones said soberly as he led the group out. Neal stared ahead, unable to acknowledge his presence, let alone his apology and he dropped his head in his hands as he tried to compose himself.

He’d made the ill advised decision not to call the police on the mistaken impression that would keep his loved ones safe and now, he had to face the fact that his poor judgement had led to Sara being taken away in the middle of the night while he lay helplessly nearby, letting it happen. 

This was on him and he needed to find a way to get her back unharmed – although it seemed even too late for that.

Elizabeth’s hand rested on Neal’s back as he sat at the kitchen table in shock, reeling from the image he’d seen of his wife in the clutches of these animals – men who were trained to get what they sought no matter the cost. They’d done away with Brenda Foster without blinking an eye and he knew that they would not hesitate to kill anyone else who got in their way. He shuddered as Elizabeth continued to rub his back, intent on keeping him grounded and not letting him give in to the worse case scenarios that were likely running around in his head.

Despite his protestations, El cleaned the wound on the back of his head and after a cup of coffee and a shower – which he’d taken at Elizabeth’s insistence – Neal changed into clean clothes as they all waited for the other shoe to drop. His mind was clearer now and he had moved on from the overwhelming shock that had paralyzed him earlier to action mode, ready to do whatever it took to get his wife back. 

The kidnappers wanted only one thing and it wasn’t Sara, Peter kept reminding Neal. She had been a casualty – a means to an end and Peter was insistent that it was time to bring in Homeland Security to see how they could negotiate Sara’s safe return.

Neal remained unconvinced and before they could come to a consensus, his phone rang once again and Peter watched as Neal put the call on speaker.

‘Have we managed to convince you?’ the voice said.

‘You have my attention’ Neal answered trying to keep his emotions in check. ‘But I want to talk to my wife.’

‘You don’t get to call the shots’ the man replied.

‘Well, apparently, I have something you’re looking for so I suggest you be a little more forthcoming’ Neal managed to bluff as Peter cringed.

Peter stared at his best friend; he was playing an awfully dangerous game.

They could hear some muffled conversations on the other end and suddenly, some heavy breathing was heard over the line.

’N-N-Neal’ Sara’s weak and barely recognizable voice said.

‘Baby… are you hurt?’ he asked, his voice suddenly overcome with emotion.

‘I don’t… I… I… don’t think… so’ she answered breathlessly, sounding drugged.

‘I’m going to fix this, okay? You just stay strong and I’ll come and get you and bring you home’ Neal managed to say before his voice gave out.

‘Now, what are _you_ going to do for us?’ the male voice said.

‘You need to tell me what you want’ Neal said, eyes trained on Peter.

‘Don’t be such an ass! Right before we killed her, the woman told us she’d given you the flash drive for safekeeping’ the man said. ‘You’ve got six hours to get it to us. We’ll call with instructions.’

‘Wait…’ Neal said as the call ended.

WCWCWC

‘Why would she tell them she gave it to me for safekeeping?’ Neal asked out loud as he paced.

‘It doesn’t make any sense’ Peter agreed. 

Jones had returned and as a trusted friend, he’d been filled in on the details.‘She stood to make a lot of money but the two buyers were trying to outbid each other. Maybe she needed to buy some time while she figured out what to do.’

‘What?You think she actually slipped it to me?’ Neal asked, his mind returning to that night and the brief contact he’d had with Brenda Foster.

‘Well, if she had more time, maybe she could drive up the price up even higher – as long as she didn’t have the flash drive on her, she had control of the situation’ Peter mused.

‘But I would have known if…’ Neal said before he stopped suddenly, memories of that night flooding back.‘… she hugged me…’

‘What?’ both Peter and Jones said simultaneously.

‘She hugged me!’ Neal said triumphantly as he took off running for the stairs.

Peter and Jones stared at each other, mouths wide open. Was Neal losing it?

Neal stepped into the bedroom, ignoring the mussed sheets where Sara had been lying and he remained focussed, heading straight for the closet as he began to rummage through his suits, madly trying to remember what he’d been wearing that night.

Peter sat at the table as Jones paced, waiting for Neal to return. Whatever realization he’d just made seemed to have led him to an interesting conclusion. Neal’s thunderous footsteps were heard coming down the stairs and suddenly, he stood before them, a strange, victorious look on his face.

‘Got it!’ he exclaimed as he held a flash drive in his hand.

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

Sara could hear muffled voices off in the distance, as if they were echoing through a long, hollow tunnel. She struggled to open her eyes once again, wondering why her eyelids were so _damn_ heavy.

‘I’m telling you, she’s pretty hot for an older broad’ she heard as one of the voices got closer and she instinctively recoiled at the sensation of a clammy hand running up and down her leg.

‘Cut it out Hyun, she’s not here for fun and games’ a second voice said from somewhere off to her left.

‘There’s no harm in mixing a little pleasure with business’ the first man said, his slick breath on Sara’s face as she felt him run a hand through her hair.

‘She’s hot, Seong. That red hair… I’m telling you, she’s definitely hot…’ said the man as he continued breathing on her skin, undeterred by Sara’s moaning.

She was having trouble making sense of anything. Whatever they’d injected her with was making her drowsy, unable to keep her eyes more than half-way open - plus there was that throbbing pain in her left eye that just wouldn’t quit to say nothing of the double-vision every time she managed to pry her eyes open.

The man’s lips grazed her cheek and she willed herself to pull away from him, a feeble effort indeed, considering her hands were tied behind her back, making any movement practically impossible.

She forced herself to remember how she’d gotten to _this_ place to begin with (not sure what _this_ place was). She remembered going to bed, exhausted from cleaning up the last of the mess in the living room. She and Neal had chatted for a while, as they always did and then she must have drifted off at some point because the next thing she remembered was kicking and screaming when someone had appeared in their bedroom – or was that just a dream? Maybe, this was _all_ a dream and she could will herself to wake up. 

The man’s tongue licked her face and Sara moaned in disgust.

‘S..s..top’ she murmured, her voice slurred. She felt like she had a wad of cotton firmly shoved in her mouth yet after he laughed out loud and did it again, she managed to say it again, this time, louder. 

‘STOP!’

He didn’t listen.

WCWCWC

Hope looked up from the stack of open books lying across the small desk in her dorm room, all piled up one on top of the other. Studying for four mid-terms all at once was making it nearly impossible to concentrate on any one topic and she cursed under her breath as she checked her phone, noting her dad still hadn’t responded to her earlier text. She glanced over at the sandstone sculpture that sat on the small table by her bed; she was badly in need of her dad’s advice before she put the chisel to it once more. Come to think of it, her mom hadn’t responded to her earlier text either – an unusual occurrence, especially on the weekend.

Maybe Liam could tell her what was going on, she thought as she began typing on her phone once more.

WCWCWC

Liam and Caitlin had insisted on coming home after they’d heard the news about Sara – and Neal hadn’t had the heart to keep them away. Having them with him was comforting and his attempts at keeping them away had been feeble and half-hearted at best. 

By noon, the Caffrey house had morphed into Grand Central Station with Peter and Elizabeth, Jones, Mozzie, Neal and the kids all huddled together in the kitchen and family room.

Elizabeth was getting something together for lunch while Mozzie and the kids busied themselves cleaning up the mess of glass on the floor in the family room. Meanwhile, the three men sat at the kitchen table trying to make sense of the gibberish they’d uncovered on the coveted flash drive. It appeared to be plans for something – although none of the men was versed in counterintelligence – it could have been plans for a new Buzz Lightyear action figure for all they knew. 

One thing was for certain, whatever this was, it was valuable enough to have one woman killed and another abducted and had created a bidding war between two countries, eager to get their hands on American top secret plans.

‘Neal, I really don’t see any other way’ Peter said.

‘But, they could be watching…’ Neal replied. ‘If they find out we’ve involved the Feds, there’s no telling what they could do to Sara.’

Liam looked up from where he was working as he heard his dad’s words and he made his way to the table as he stood next to Neal. 

‘Dad, what are they gonna do to Mom?’ he asked, his voice sombre.

Neal looked up, suddenly aware that he had to put a positive spin on things, at least in front of the kids.

‘Nothing, buddy’ Neal replied as he put a reassuring arm around Liam’s shoulder. 'They just want this flash drive and then, they’ll… they’ll let her go.’

‘Then why don’t you just hand it over?’ asked Caitlin as she joined the group.

Peter’s eyes went to Neal, sensing his internal struggle. ‘It’s not that simple. This information is very valuable and it could be dangerous if it falls into the wrong hands’ Peter explained. ‘We’re not sure what this is but it could put our national security at risk.’ 

Jones and Peter had been trying for the better part of an hour to convince Neal to bring in someone from Homeland Security to deal with the situation and Neal had continued to resist, terrified that whoever had abducted Sara would resort to violence if he deviated from their explicit instructions to keep the Feds out of it.

Neal glanced at the time once more – it was going on 12:30 and time was ticking away. Who knew what Sara was going through while they discussed things ad nauseam and continued to argue about her fate. The picture on his phone, which he’d managed to keep hidden from Liam and Caitlin, showed a very unresponsive Sara and the sound of her voice had left no doubt that she’d been drugged – and who knew what else. The faster the thugs got what they wanted, the better chance they had of getting Sara home safe and sound.

Liam’s phone vibrated in his pocket and he reached in to pull it out – Hope was calling and he had no idea what he should tell her.

WCWCWC

‘Don’t worry. I’ll keep an eye on her’ the younger of the two men said as he leered at Sara.

‘Yeah, I’ll _bet_ you will’ said the second man. ‘I won’t be long, just… just don’t overdo it!’

Sara’s eyes opened halfway as she watched the large man exit the only door she’d been able to detect in the sparsely furnished room they were occupying. It appeared to be a motel room although she couldn’t be sure. She had spotted a bed, a television, a few pieces of furniture and a door leading to the washroom which they had let her use once, although the creepy guy had insisted on standing there watching her pee, smiling ominously at her the whole time.

She could feel the effects of whatever drugs were in her system beginning to fade; maybe she could keep the men from giving her another dose if she just played along and behaved more strung out than she actually was. She closed her eyes again, taking stock of her body – the relentless strain in her neck and arms from having her hands tied behind her back, the throbbing pain under her eye where one of the men had punched her without even the slightest hesitation, the tightness in her body as she sat on the hard, wooden chair, unable to move for hours on end.

Here she was, finally alone with just one of the men. If there was ever a chance to make a run for it, this was it. 

‘Pee…’ she moaned, voice unsteady.

‘Again?’ the man said as he ran a hand down her cheek. ‘Sweetheart, you have a bladder the size of a thimble.’

Sara forced herself not to flinch at his touch and nodded, a small smile on her lips.

‘Maybe I can give you a hand…’ he said as he stood in front of her straddling her provocatively, hips pushed out forward into her face.

Again, Sara resisted the urge to turn her head away, eyelids half closed as he made some lewd, suggestive gyrations right up into her face.

‘Pl…please’ she moaned, playing her role to the hilt.

‘Fine’ said the man, taking a step back. ‘And then, you and I can have a little fun while we wait for Seong to come back with the food’ he said as he stepped around the back of the chair to free her hands.

They had been using zip ties, tight around her wrist, making it impossible to wriggle out. Sara had mastered the art of getting out of handcuffs years ago, compliments of Neal but zip ties… well, that was a whole other story.

Once her hands were free, Sara let them fall listlessly by her side, exaggerating her level of intoxication. She had to wait for the right time to make her move – and she knew she would only get _one_ opportunity. She waited for the thug to come around and help her stand, his hands slipping under her armpits to support her as he purposefully grazed her breasts and gave her a sick smile.

She faltered, exaggerating her lack of coordination as the man put an arm around her waist to support her in standing up.

‘Come on, baby!’ he said, running his hand up and down her side. ‘Let Huyn help you…’

She took a tentative step, trying to assess her level of steadiness; her legs felt like rubber but she was encouraged to find that she had regained some control over her movements. 

They began the slow walk towards the washroom, Sara dragging her bare feet against the dirty linoleum floor. She glanced up at the door to the room as she walked towards the bathroom, further and further away from her escape route.

WCWCWC

‘Hope!’ Liam whispered as he stepped away from the kitchen and made his way to the front of the house.

‘Finally!’ came Hope’s annoyed response.‘What the hell’s going on over there. Dad’s not answering my texts… and neither is Mom!’

Liam stared ahead, unsure what to say. He caught Peter’s eye and watched as his uncle came towards him, seemingly aware that his nephew needed his help. 

‘Hope’ Liam mouthed to his Peter as the older man nodded. He put his hand out and Liam seized the opportunity to hand over the phone.

‘Uncle Peter wants to talk to you’ Liam said as he cowardly passed the phone over to Peter’s outreached hand.

‘Hey pumpkin!’ Peter said, trying to sound cheerful.

‘Pumpkin? All right, now I’m really worried’ she said. ‘You haven’t called me pumpkin since I was eight years old. So why, all of a sudden, are you referring to me as a big orange squash?’

Peter smiled at the normalcy of the moment; Hope’s outlandish sense of humour, so much like her mom’s. He took a deep breath before continuing.

‘Honey, you better sit down.’

WCWCWC

The creepy guy crouched down in front of Sara, watching her pee as she put her head down on her chest, trying to assess the best time to make her move – certainly not while her undies were around her ankles, that was for sure.

She groaned as she reached for the toilet paper and he backed away momentarily giving her the space she needed to finish up. She knew that she was running out of time; the second guy had been gone a good ten minutes and he could be returning at any time. She eyed the young man as she stood, thinking of how she’d taken down much bigger men in her time with one swift kick to their nether regions – every man’s weakness.

They stepped out of the washroom and instead of walking her back to the chair she’d been sitting on for the past several hours, he guided her towards the bed as Sara continued to lean on him. 

‘That’s a good girl…’ he whispered lewdly as he momentarily stood by the foot of the bed, one hand on Sara’s arm and the other on his belt buckle.

Sara gave him a soft smile and he leered back, suddenly more relaxed at the sight of his pliant and seemingly willing victim. He had barely begun to start work on his buckle when, taking in a large gulp of air, Sara made her move, knee flying up, hitting the man directly in the gonads as he let out a blood curdling scream and fell onto the bed, gasping for air.

Sara didn’t waste a second. She made a run for the door, fiddling with the locks as she heard her captor start to move on the bed. Her breathing laboured and her vision still unfocussed, she finally managed to get the lock open as she heard her attacker get up and start to move towards her. The door flew open and Sara threw herself out the door… and right into the arms of the man’s big, bad partner.

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

Sara’s eyes widened as she collided violently with the large man. Without her baton, she was no match for the 300 pound thug and the next thing she knew, she was being dragged back into the room kicking and screaming – although her cries were being successfully muffled by his humongous hand, covering her mouth.

Huyn stood unsteady, rising from the bed with a hand to his groin as he watched Sara being carried in against her will. Before she knew what hit her, Sara’s mouth had been gagged with a rag and she was being thrown down roughly on the bed.

‘You little bitch!’ the man spat at her as he gave her a hard slap against the cheek. ‘Get the goddam syringe!’ he yelled to his partner.

Sara’s head moved frantically from side to side in a pointless effort to stave him off but before she knew it, the second man appeared carrying the dreaded needle full of the drugs which would, once again, render her useless. She felt the small prick on the inside of her arm and within seconds, she was dragged down into darkness once again.

WCWCWC

‘He’s been gone over two hours!’ Neal declared, beyond agitated, as he paced the kitchen floor.

‘Neal, sit down!’ Peter ordered.‘It’s going to take a while.’

Neal frowned at his partner, no longer able to control his anxiety; he was literally jumping out of his skin and he couldn’t sit still, even if his life depended on it. 

Jones had been sent on a mission to meet with the bigwigs from Homeland Security who’d arrived from Washington a couple of hours earlier and Neal was beginning to wonder if the plan they’d hatched was going to end with Sara’s safe return – or end up blowing up in their faces.He was painfully aware that it would take the mere whiff of a con for the kidnappers to act on their threat to kill her – they were on a mission to retrieve the damn flash drive at all costs.

‘Dad, why don’t you listen to Uncle Peter’ Liam said as he sat at the table, trying to keep his hands busy by playing some inane game on his tablet while Caitlin and Mozzie half heartedly faced off in a chess match – all in a futile attempt to pass the time.

Neal felt a gentle hand on his shoulder and turned to face Elizabeth, who’d been trying desperately to keep things on an even keel, despite the increasing tension in the house. 

‘Honey, we’re all scared about what might happen to Sara but wearing a hole through the floor isn’t going to help her’ she said, her voice calm.

Neal shook his head in dismay. He couldn’t take much more of this waiting. He glanced over at Raffie, lying peacefully on the floor nearby, oblivious to what his mistress was going through, _somewhere_ out there.

‘I’m going out for a while’ Neal announced, in no mood to be mollified. ‘Come on, Raffie’ he added as he grabbed for the dog’s leash.

‘Neal!’ Peter pleaded.‘Don’t…’

Neal turned away, choosing to ignore him. If he didn’t get out of the house in the next five seconds, he was going to explode. Despite the unmistakeable look of determination in his eyes, Peter stood to physically block Neal’s way and El put a hand on his arm. 

‘Honey… let him go’ she urged as Peter reluctantly backed off. 

They heard the front door close behind Neal and an eerie silence once again permeated the Caffrey home.

‘Hope’s landing in about forty-five minutes’ Liam reminded everyone as Elizabeth grabbed for her car keys on the kitchen counter. 

‘You want to come along?’ El asked of her nephew who was immediately on his feet. 

Anything was better than this endless waiting.

WCWCWC

Neal sat at the dog park, watching Raphael frolic with his dog pals. He took a long slow breath of crisp autumn air, trying desperately to calm his nerves. Liam and Caitlin were counting on him to keep things together… and Hope, well, she’d have to be told, sooner or later. It would have to be later, Neal decided. He couldn’t bear to hear the heartbreak in his daughter’s voice when he eventually called to tell her what was going in. Better to wait until the situation was resolved before bringing her in on this ugly mess – after all, she couldn’t do anything from Pittsburgh and she had exams to think about.

Neal wondered once again how a seemingly random act of kindness on his part had deteriorated into such a perilous situation for the woman he loved. He replayed the events of the last week – their dinner out to celebrate their birthdays, the seemingly innocuous incident in the alley by the restaurant, news of Brenda Foster’s murder, the break-in, Sara being taken from the safety of their bed while he lay neutralized, nearby… what a bizarre series of events leading to such an unexpected and heartbreaking situation.

None of it seemed real and yet, Sara was out there somewhere, being held against her will while he tried to find a way to get her home – all the while trying not to become an accessory to the illicit sale of top secret government files.

His phone rang and Neal grabbed for it, terrified the abductors were calling to move up the agreed upon 9:00 meeting time. He had managed to convince them that Brenda Foster had passed the item on to him without his knowledge and that he was having difficulty locating it.Apparently, he could still bluff with the best of them and he had managed to convince them that he was innocent in all of this – simply, a bystander who wanted to get his wife back. 

He glanced down at his phone and smiled as he saw his mom’s face appear on the screen. For a moment, he was tempted to let it go to voicemail, unsure whether or not he could pull off a normal conversation with her without falling apart.

‘Hey Mom!’ he said, his voice shaky.

‘Hi honey’ came the soft, weak voice of Linda Bennett.

‘How are you feeling today?’ Neal asked, oddly comforted by the sound of her voice.

‘I’m good, I’m good’ she lied – for both their benefits.

‘You know, I’ve been thinking a lot about Thanksgiving…’ Neal said. ‘Do you think you might be up to coming to New York? I could fly down and we could come back together. I know Sara would love to see you’ he said, his voice faltering at the mention of his wife’s name.

‘I don’t know, Neal… I would love to but…’ Linda Bennett began.

‘We could get you a wheelchair and I could take care of everything…’ Neal stammered.

Suddenly, the prospect of a visit from his mom had become terribly important. With all the craziness, there had to be _something_ good to look forward to and he needed desperately to think past the immediate impasse and towards a time when they could all be together.

‘Neal, that’s asking a lot of you…’ she replied and yet he could tell she was tempted by his offer.

‘You’re not _asking_ , Mom, I’m offering’ Neal said as he felt a sudden shiver from his head to his toes. 

‘I would _love_ it’ she finally admitted.

‘That’s great!’ Neal said with relief as he spied Raffie sniffing a small Bichon Frisé, whose owner was looking none too pleased. 

‘Raffie!’ Neal called out. ‘Mom, I’m going to have to go but I’ll call you next week, okay?’ he said as he stood to retrieve his overzealous pooch.

‘Ask Sara to give me a call’ Linda added as Neal swallowed hard.

‘Will do’ he managed to croak out before hanging up.

WCWCWC

The next time she regained consciousness, Sara was back to sitting in the chair with a variety of new aches and pains – and she was feeling very disconnected from reality. She could hear the two men talking in the distance although she couldn’t make out what they were saying. Her arms were aching – her abductors had somehow managed to tie her up even tighter than before – and her head was throbbing as she forced her eyes open in order to get her bearings. The double vision was worse than before as was the confusion and suddenly she recalled her ill-fated attempt to escape and she let out a small whimper of disappointment at the recollection. She’d messed up her one and only chance to get away and now her fate was even more uncertain. 

She felt a tickle on her bruised cheek and it took a moment for her to realize what had caused the flutter: a tear had escaped her swollen eye.

WCWCWC

The conversation with his mom and the walk back to the house seemed to have helped clear the cobwebs from Neal’s cluttered mind. He was feeling more optimistic about the outcome and he looked forward to Jones’ return and a happy resolution to the situation. He rounded the corner and glanced towards the house, spotting Elizabeth driving up with a couple of passengers in tow.He craned his neck to see who was in the car with her, immediately recognizing Liam in the front seat although he couldn’t quite make out who was sitting in the back.

Raffie let out a joyous bark and escaped Neal’s clutches as he ran towards Hope who was stepping out of the back seat of El’s car. Neal watched, bewildered, as his daughter looked up as him, eyes full of tears.

‘Dad!’ she cried out as she ran towards him and into his open arms.

‘Hope! What are you doing here?’ Neal asked as the force of her hug knocked the breath out of him.

‘Daddy! Uncle Peter told me what happened and he sent me money to take a flight home’ she cried, her face firmly pressed against his chest.

‘Oh, honey. I didn’t want to upset you. You have your exams…’ he began, running his hand through her hair.

‘Are you kidding?’ she answered, sobbing, as she pulled away to look into his eyes.‘Dad…’

‘We’re doing everything we can to bring her home’ Neal responded stoically in answer to her unspoken question. 

The sight of his beautiful daughter was bringing up even _more_ feelings of vulnerability. She threw her arms around him again, pulling him close and in that moment, it was impossible to tell whose heart was pounding harder.

WCWCWC

Hope’s sudden appearance seemed to have a positive effect on Neal. At first, he’d been pissed off at Peter for not telling him about her imminent arrival but he realized that Peter was right – if he’d known she was coming home, he would have tried to convince her not to come and yet, now that she was here, he had to admit he felt comforted by her presence.

It was almost dinnertime and Elizabeth and Liam were in the kitchen preparing food for the large crowd which had congregated around the kitchen table. Jones had called an hour earlier to report that the bigwigs at Homeland Security had agreed to provide them with a similar flash drive with doctored plans that would be virtually useless to anyone who got their hands on them. The information on the flash drive had to be similar in content to the stolen intel in order to be convincing and it was taking a little longer to find the right material to use as decoy.

Neal continued to fluctuate between pacing nervously from the kitchen to the living room and sitting with his kids. At 6:30, the kidnappers called again as everyone in the house grew quiet. This time, Neal told them he had finally located the item and he listened as they gave a time and place for him to show up for the switch – alone. It was an address in the Bronx and within seconds, Peter had identified the location as an abandoned warehouse. They reasoned that it was unlikely that Sara was being held there, although she would likely be nearby. This time the kidnappers didn’t let Neal talk to Sara and he tried not to read too much into it. Only a short time and, if all went according to plan, he would be reunited with her.

With under two hours until the meet, Neal resumed his pacing, stopping every few minutes to see if Jones had arrived, which he finally did at 7:23 on the dot.

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

‘You know the drill…’ Peter said as he handed Neal a watch, complete with GPS and listening device.

Neal looked down and nodded; he hadn’t gone undercover in years and yet the ritual seemed all too familiar.

‘Try to give us as much information as you can. We’ll be listening’ Jones added as Neal absent-mindedly slipped on the watch. He hoped he had the wherewithal to keeps things together, to stay focussed. One false move could put Sara’s life even more at risk. 

‘You did a great job on those sketches and Homeland Security was able to identify the two guys. They’re known operatives for the North Korean government. They don’t have any reason to think they’ve been made so their guard will be down. The Feds have confirmed that they’ve booked a flight to Pyongyang leaving Newark at 10:30 tonight’ Jones added.

Neal became agitated at this new piece of information. ‘They know not to move in on them until we’ve got Sara…’ he asked.

‘I’ve got the Director of Counter Intelligence’s word that they’ll wait for confirmation that Sara’s safe before moving in on them’ Jones said, trying his best to sound reassuring. 

‘Neal, don’t expect them to just hand Sara over to you’ Peter reminded him. ‘Chances are they’ll want some lead time. They might call you or get a message to you to let you know where she’s being held when they feel they’re safely out of reach.’

Neal nodded once again, trying to absorb all this information. He was finding it hard to concentrate. All he could see in his mind’s eye was Sara’s body, barely able to sit up from all the drugs they’d fed her.

‘They’ll want to examine the flash drive’ Jones said. ‘Let them. Homeland Security has substituted whatever was on the original flash drive with plans for a planned nuclear facility in Oregon that never saw the light of day.’

Neal was looking worried again; these guys would likely know what to look for in the merchandise they’d purchased. What if they spotted the phoney intel?

‘If we hear that you’re in any immediate danger, we’ll have to move in…’ Jones began. 

‘No!’ Neal said adamantly. ‘I can handle myself.If you come in with guns blazing, we might never see Sara again.’

Peter and Jones exchanged worried looks. They needed to trust Neal with this operation, after all, he was the one who had the most to lose. If he felt he wasn’t in any imminent danger, they needed to respect that and give him a wide berth.

‘Then, promise me you’ll use the trigger phrase’ Peter said, placing a hand on Neal’s shoulder and staring intently into his steely eyes.

‘Okay… promise’ Neal reluctantly agreed, eyes avoiding Peter.

The kids had been sitting nearby on the couch in the family room, listening to the conversation and after exchanging worried glances, Hope stood to make her way over to the group of men.

‘Uncle Peter, are you sure it’s safe to let him go alone?’ she asked as she stepped in closer to her godfather.

Peter put a protective arm around her. ‘Don’t worry, honey. We’ll be keeping a safe distance but we’ll be able to hear everything that’s going on.’ 

‘But… that’s not going to help if…’ Hope began as Neal interrupted.

‘Hope… Hope… I promise’ Neal said, knowing full well he could never keep such a promise.‘ _Nothing’s_ going to happen to me.’

He could see the look of worry in his daughter’s eyes. Her mom was already in the clutches of kidnappers and now he was slipping away to meet with the thugs. If anyone knew the speed at which a bullet travelled, it was Hope. She’d witnessed her dad being shot barely a year earlier and she knew all too well that Peter and Jones a few blocks away in the municipal van wouldn’t be of _any_ help to Neal if the thugs decided to do away with him.

Neal could see tears forming in her eyes and he stepped in a little closer as she let her arms slip around his waist. His arms moved around her, chin resting on the top of her head. 

‘I’m going to bring Mom home’ he whispered into her hair as he pulled her into his arms. ‘I promise.'

WCWCWC

The noises seemed more distant now. Sara was becoming strangely accustomed to the dense fog in her brain; after all, she’d been kept on varying doses of the wonder drugs for the past 18 hours. As much as she hated not being in control of her usually alert mind, she was grateful that the regular injections served to dull everything around her, including the persistent pain in her arms and shoulders.

She had to admit, though, that the fog was becoming thicker and that she was having more and more difficulty staying connected to reality. 

After she’d been dragged back into the room, she’d been given a mega-dose of whatever choice cocktail they’d been injecting and she’d slipped into unconsciousness for a time. She’d awakened to find the younger of the two men looming over her on the bed, his slimy hands on her body, roaming under her t-shirt with his hands down his pants. Her meek protestations had seemed to turn him on even more as he stared down at her terrified eyes, his hands continuing to explore her body despite her feeble attempts to fight him off. She tried not to choke on the gag they’d stuffed into her mouth, her eyes growing wide as he paid her low moaning no mind. 

Now, she was back in the chair although she could barely hold herself up. She heard their voices in the distance, undecipherable noises floating in and out as she struggled not to tip over. Her hands were still firmly tethered behind her back and the pain in her shoulders and wrists flared as she tried to move against the zip ties. Her legs were now tied to the chair, making movement even more difficult – so much for her little escapade, now she was paying for it in spades. She could feel bile rising in her throat and she tried to swallow it down for fear she might choke on it. The gag in her mouth was shoved all the way to the back of her throat and her jaw ached from having her mouth open for hours on end. She drifted in and out, outlandish dreams taking over her messed up psyche; she could see Neal, Hope and Liam, laughing together as she watched from her chair, incapable of making a sound… her captors laughing at her discomfort and Neal and Peter joining them as they all watched her struggle. 

In her muddled mind, she had a faint recollection of Neal telling her to hang on, that he was coming for her. Where was he? Why hadn’t he kept his word?

WCWCWC

Neal recognized the old building from the Google Earth picture Peter had managed to download off the internet. The decrepit old warehouse was situated in an abandoned part of town, uninhabited, except for a couple of hard on their luck druggies Neal had spotted up the block, looking for reprieve from the cool November night. 

There was a back door to the building which Neal had been instructed to use and when he entered, it took a moment for his eyes to become accustomed to the darkness, the dim street lighting coming through the broken windows the only source of light in the cavernous space.Deprived of sight, Neal’s other senses kicked in and he picked up on a soft rustling sound as he stopped dead in his tracks – better to let the abductors step out and make their presence known.

Suddenly, a bright light blinded him and Neal winced at the intensity of it, unable to see where the light was coming from.

‘Did you bring it?’ he heard a disembodied voice say.

‘Where’s my wife?’ Neal responded.

‘First things first’ the voice said. ‘Did you bring it?’

Neal felt around in his jacket pocket for the small item – the unlikely source of all this pain and drama. He heard a gun being cocked and he slowed his movement, making sure the kidnapper could see he was unarmed. He gingerly pulled out the flash drive and held it up in his hand, awaiting instructions.

‘Turn around. Hands up against the wall’ the man shouted as Neal followed instructions, turning slowly to face the nearby wall and placing his hands up over his head, flash drive still firmly in his grasp.

The bright circle of light from the reflection of the flashlight on the wall grew smaller as he heard the abductor move behind him, drawing nearer. 

‘Did you come alone?’ the man asked, his voice loud and threatening.

‘I told you, I don’t give a shit about what’s on this goddam flash drive. I didn’t ask for it… all I want is my wife back’ Neal said, his voice strong despite the shaking he could feel in his legs.

‘I don’t blame you… she’s a pretty little piece of ass’ the man said unexpectedly as Neal froze.‘She’s got a hot little body, perky tits…’

Neal shuddered; surely this guy was just trying to provoke him. He needed to stay calm, no matter what.

‘I especially like that cute little mole on her hip’ the man continued as Neal felt his fists close, determined not to rise to the bait. 

‘I enjoyed spending time with her… if you know what I mean’ the man laughed as Neal stood, perfectly still, his heart sinking at the thought of what Sara might have endured.

‘But if my partner doesn’t hear from me in the next five minutes, you’ll be _burying_ that cute little ass of hers’ the man said, without feeling. 

Neal’s blood ran cold as he realized once again how tenuous the situation was. One false move on anyone’s part and it could spell disaster for Sara. He could feel the man getting ever closer to him and suddenly, he was grabbing the flash drive from Neal’s hand.

‘Don’t move!’ he instructed as he patted Neal down, none too gently.

Neal could hear a soft whirring sound nearby and it took him a moment to realize what it was – a laptop. He heard some clicking sounds, the soft drone of the laptop growing louder as it downloaded the flash drive. He held his breath; it was impossible to know to what extent the men were versed in what _should_ have been on the flash drive. If the thug detected anything amiss it was game over for both him _and_ Sara. 

He heard some more clicking sounds as the man ostensibly checked out the material on the screen, the flashlight still pointed to his back as he stood immobile, hands above his head.

‘Finally’ he heard the man mutter.

Neal relaxed his shoulders at the man’s reaction.

‘My wife…’ Neal dared to repeat.

The man ignored his latest utterance and Neal heard the sound of a phone being dialled.

‘It’s good’ he heard the man say.‘Give her another dose before you leave.’

‘I don’t care if she _is_ unconscious, give her another one’ the man said as Neal cringed. ‘Oh, and give her a nice wet kiss goodbye from me.’

Whatever type of sedative they were giving Sara could kill her if she overdosed; Neal needed desperately to find out where she was being kept. He dared to turn towards the sound of the voice, the bright light blinding him as the man got closer.

‘I told you _not_ to turn around’ the man said as Neal felt a meaty fist hit him right in the pit of his stomach. His breath was knocked out of him and Neal fell to the ground with a thud.

‘You are damn lucky your little lady is still alive’ he said as he kicked Neal, bringing on another loud groan. ‘Now, stay put and you’ll get instructions on where to find her when the time comes.’

Neal was just about to protest when he saw a sudden movement and felt the sharp stab of pain in his neck. 

Then, nothing.

WCWCWC

Peter Burke hadn’t been in the Municipal van in over three years. The last time he’d sat in the decrepit old van was on a money laundering case Jones had asked him to help with – and Peter realized it didn’t smell any better than it had years before.

He sat with Jones and a couple of men from Jones’ team who had volunteered to work this end of the case, watching Neal’s back while the hotshots at Homeland Security concentrated on apprehending the two North Korean operatives at the other end. Their capture would be a big win for the department; if nothing else, it would give them leverage when negotiating the release of Americans being held in Pyongyang. Peter hoped that they would be true to their word and not jump the gun when apprehending the two men at Liberty Airport. Locating Sara’s whereabouts on their own was akin to finding a needle in a haystack. They didn’t have a clue where to start looking and were totally at the mercy of the thugs revealing where they’d been keeping her – if, in fact, they were inclined to do so.

Neal had done a terrific job talking with the abductors – convincing them that he had nothing to do with Brenda Foster or her ill-advised plan to put money into her rainy day account. That placed Neal and Sara as innocent bystanders and Peter hoped the men had a shred of decency and would let them know where to find Sara once they felt they were finally out of reach of the Feds.

Jones and Peter had listened with interest to the conversation in the warehouse three blocks away. It was a miracle Neal was keeping it together considering how the kidnapper had been toying with his emotions. Peter knew Neal would be beyond angry at the comments the man was making but, to his credit, Neal had managed to stay on track, handing over the flash drive and finding a way to stick to the game plan.

The sound of Neal collapsing to the ground after the first blow took Peter by surprise and his eyes turned to look at Jones. They didn’t want to move in too quickly and jeopardize Sara’s rescue but hearing the sound of Neal’s groan after being kicked in the gut was almost more than Peter could stomach. 

But even worse than the sound of Neal’s heavy breathing as he recovered from the second blow was the eerie silence that followed and, despite their promise not to interfere, Jones and Peter were out of the van in seconds, on their way to the nearby warehouse.

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

Mozzie stood at the kitchen counter, preparing a turkey sandwich on sourdough – his godson’s all-time favourite. He walked over to the table and took a spot next to Liam, placing the plate in front of his eyes.

‘Extra mayo.’ He said as he brought his hand to Liam’s back. ‘Just the way you like it.’

Liam looked up from his phone and glanced down at the sandwich with a weak smile. ‘Thanks Uncle Moz but I don’t think I can eat anything right now.’

‘But you didn’t have anything to eat at dinner and you have to….’ Mozzie began.

‘I know, I know. I have to keep my sugar levels up’ said Liam, resigned, as he reluctantly took a bite.

‘Your mom will kill me if your blood sugar drops on my watch, you know that’ Mozzie said with a kind smile.

He glanced down at Liam’s phone noticing the last text he’d received _. ‘Call me if you want to talk’._

‘Cody?’ Mozzie asked as Liam nodded and let out a huge sigh.

‘Why don’t you ask him to come over?’ Mozzie suggested.

‘Naw’ Liam scoffed. ‘There’s too much going on around here and… besides, he has a big math test tomorrow.’

Mozzie nodded in understanding. After a few seconds of silence, he spoke up, his voice quiet.

‘Look… your dad would probably scalp me for telling you this but…’

Liam gave his uncle a puzzled look; considering the dearth of hair on Mozzie’s head, getting scalped was the least of his worries.

‘All right well, maybe not _scalp_ me but he wouldn’t be too happy with me telling you about the time we pulled a con on a sultan in Borneo.’

Liam continued eating, suddenly interested in what his godfather was about to share. He loved to hear about the daring exploits his dad and his uncle Moz had shared back in the day. Neal, on the other hand, discouraged the retelling of their escapades – for obvious reasons. He didn’t want to glorify the illegal activities he’d carried out in his indiscriminate youth but more importantly, he’d worked hard to gain his children’s respect over the years and he didn’t want their image of him to be tarnished in any way. 

Now that Caitlin was part of their family, Neal had been clear that Mozzie was not to speak of their previous life. She didn’t need to know about the life he’d lived before he’d become a fine, upstanding citizen. Keeping the teen on track was a mammoth task as it was and the last thing she needed was to find out the man she looked up to and admired had been a very bad boy in his youth. Mozzie glanced around the room to make sure the impressionable teen wasn’t around before continuing.

‘We’d heard that the sultan was holding a dinner party where he’d be displaying the family’s jewels dating back to the 1850’s. Your dad had done his research and he had his eye on an emerald necklace he knew was part of the collection. The thing had to be worth a couple of million bucks and your dad spent six weeks laying the groundwork for the perfect con’ Mozzie said, his voice low. 

‘He managed to _accidentally_ run into the man’s twenty-year-old daughter while she was visiting the local fair on the island. While they were chatting, the young woman was approached by a thief, who tried to steal a diamond bracelet right off her wrist…’

Liam raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

‘All right… so it was me’ admitted Mozzie. ‘But that was all part of the con. Your dad came riding in on his white horse and saved the day and once he started to bat his baby blues at the girl….well, it didn’t take long for her to fall for his charms and he was a shoo-in to be her plus one by the time the party rolled around a few weeks later.’

Liam began to relax as he listened to the story, one of many Mozzie had told him over the years.He had a feeling some of them had been totally fabricated or at least embellished over time as Mozzie relived his glory days.

‘The night of the party, your dad waited for the right moment and while everyone was at dinner, he snuck in and pocketed the necklace – along with a pair of heirloom cufflinks for me. He was caught red-handed by one of the sultan’s staff and he managed to sweet talk his way out before the guy blew the whistle on him. He ended up hiding out in the nearby hills for over a week before they finally called off the search’ Mozzie said, his eyes sparkling.

‘By the time I found him, he’d lost eight pounds and he’d been bitten by a scorpion.’

‘A scorpion? Seriously?’ Liam repeated, deadpan – even for crazy uncle Moz that was a bit over the top.

‘Well, he’d been _devoured_ by mosquitoes’ Mozzie corrected as Liam took the last bite of his sandwich. ‘Anyway, we ended up having to flee the country and your dad’s been on the Royal Malaysia Police’s watch list ever since.’

Liam let out a small giggle; fabricated or not, Mozzie’s stories always brought a smile to his lips.This time, Mozzie had been a little too transparent in his attempt at getting his godson to eat something and stop worrying about his dad for a few moments – but Liam appreciated the effort nonetheless.

‘Thanks, Uncle Moz’ Liam said with a half-hearted smile.

‘What for?’ Mozzie asked innocently as Liam just shook his head.

WCWCWC

Peter hadn’t run that hard in years and his little ticker was madly thumping away in his chest by the time he and Jones finally made it to the abandoned warehouse with two other probies in tow. They had called for an ambulance, unsure of what they would find when they got there.

‘Jameson, wait for the ambulance by the street’ Jones called out as he shone some light to get a better look at the inside of the warehouse where Neal had disappeared moments earlier.

It didn’t take long before they spotted a dazed looking Neal, lying on the cold cement floor, right by the back door, looking like he’d been hit over the head with a large mallet.

‘Neal!’ Peter called out breathlessly as he crouched down next to him.

The sound of his best friend’s voice seemed to bring Neal around and his eyes widened at the sight of him. 

‘He… stuck me with something’ Neal moaned, his voice slurred.

‘Don’t move, Caffrey’ Jones instructed. ‘There’s an ambulance on the way.’

Neal fought to sit up, against orders – but then again, he’d never been very good about following orders.

‘Sara…’ he managed to say.

‘It’s all right’ Peter said reassuringly. ‘He’s gone – he probably just wanted to make sure you didn’t follow him.’

Neal looked up helplessly; despite his superhuman efforts to stand, his body was having none of it – his legs were rubber and his mind cloudy.

‘I’m _not_ … going to the hospital’ he said, his voice unsteady.

‘We’ll just get you checked… find out what it is he injected you with…’ Peter began as Neal continued to fight him.

‘Sara’s still out there… somewhere’ Neal mumbled as he pushed Peter’s hands away rather ineffectively.

‘… and we’re going to find her’ Peter said authoritatively. ‘We just need to get you checked out first.’

The sound of a siren could be heard in the distance and Neal let himself fall back on the ground. Try as he might, his arms and legs did not want to cooperate and suddenly, there were two Peters and two Jones looking down at him quizzically.

‘I’m fine, I’m fine’ he muttered as he continued to fight Peter off. He could feel the side effects of the drug he’d been injected with – this wasn’t his first rodeo and the lack of coordination and slurred speech were all too familiar signs the thug had injected him with some form of sedative.

Before he could protest further, a couple of paramedics appeared out of nowhere and Neal was helped to his feet and over to the gurney, fighting them all the way.

‘Stop it!’ he moaned ineffectively as his legs gave out. The next thing he knew, he was being strapped in, a feeling utterly impotent.

‘Peter… my phone…’ he muttered as he searched his pockets. 

‘It’s okay buddy’ Peter said as he took the phone from Neal limp hand.

It was their only lifeline to Sara and now, all they could do was pray the kidnappers would keep their word and call to reveal her location before it was too late.

WCWCWC

Hope and Caitlin sat up in the loft on the third floor of the Caffrey house, waiting for news.Although Hope’s new room had been completed in August, she had barely moved in by the time she’d returned to school in September. All the familiar things from her old room had been moved up to the third floor, including the photograph of the mural from her room at June’s from all those years ago.

‘This looks like the mural at the school’ Caitlin said as she moved around the space, poking her nose here and there.

‘Yeah, it’s a photograph of the original that my dad painted when we lived a Grandma June’s’ said Hope from the bed where she sat, legs crossed.

‘Wow! Mr. C painted this… huge thing?’ she asked.

‘Yup, apparently it took him almost five months to finish it. It covered the whole wall in my bedroom’ Hope answered with a sad smile.

‘But it’s not exactly the same as the one at the school’ Caitlin observed as she continued examining the picture.

‘When Dad started the school, he asked me to help him paint a version of the mural… in honour of the one at Grandma June’s house’ Hope said wistfully. 

Every time she walked into the June Ellington School of Art, she was filled with pride at her part in creating the beautiful mural. After the opening of the school the previous year, the piece of art had even been featured in the pages of The New Criterion – an honour she had never expected.

Caitlin turned to face Hope, making her way to sit on the edge of the bed.

‘You are _so_ lucky to have a dad like Mr. C’ she said with a sigh.

Growing up in foster homes had been a difficult life and Caitlin had never felt like she belonged anywhere. Her mom had been in and out of rehab – and jail – her whole life and the teen had always dreamed of a stable life, surrounded by loving parents and siblings. Now that she was living with the Caffrey, she was getting a shot at such a life and she lived in continuous fear of being kicked to the curb once more.

Hope laughed softly. ‘You’re right.Daddy’s amazing… and so is Mom’ she answered as her smile melted.

‘It’s okay… they’ll find her’ Caitlin said as she reached out for Hope’s hand. ‘If anybody can bring her home, it’s your dad and your uncle Peter.’

Hope nodded, tears appearing in her eyes, once more. ‘My mom… she’s… she’s tough but I worry about her anyway. I couldn’t… I couldn’t bear it if something happened to her.’

A soft knock came on the door and the two young women looked up to find Elizabeth Burke standing there with a couple of mugs.

‘I made some hot chocolate’ she said in her usual attempt to make things better. 

Hope thought of all the times her aunt Elizabeth had made things better with a warm cup of cocoa. Unfortunately, this time, it was going to take more than that to ease her worried mind.

WCWCWC

‘It’s a type of benzodiazepine – likely diazepam or halcion’ the emergency room doctor said as he stood across from Neal and Peter.

‘Can’t you give me some… what’s it called… Fluma something?’ Neal asked, anxious to get his wits back.

‘Flumazenil?’ the doctor asked. ‘It’s administered in the case of an overdose… which is not your case.’

‘But I need… I need to snap out of it as soon as possible’ Neal pleaded.

Peter had informed the ER doctor of the situation and the man looked from Peter to Neal as he checked Neal’s test results once more. ‘I could give you a small dose which would serve to counteract the dizziness and the somnolence but it will take a good four to six hours for the drug to completely leave your system.’

Neal put out his arm.‘Do it!’ he urged.

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

The trio sat in the emergency room, waiting for Neal to get the all clear from the medical staff.Not that they had anywhere to _go_ in particular – they were still desperately hoping for word from the captors as to where Sara was being kept. Neal glanced at his watch once again, noting it was past ten o’clock. Time was running out.

‘Why can’t we just go?’ he mumbled impatiently.

‘Where to exactly?’ Peter countered, injecting a dose of reality into the situation.

Neal gave him an annoyed look in response and he turned his attention to Clinton Jones who was busy checking his phone.

‘Anything?’ Neal asked.

‘The federal agents are on the plane, waiting for the passengers to board. Apparently, our guys checked in ten minutes ago’ Jones answered.

Neal stood, pacing. ‘They’re not going to tell us where she is, are they?’ he asked rhetorically as he looked from Peter to Jones.

‘We don’t know that for sure, Neal’ Peter replied, standing to fetch Neal in an attempt to get him to sit down again – to no avail.

The doctor who had examined him reappeared and stood before the two men, bringing a flashlight to Neal’s eyes and peering in.

‘How are you feeling now?’ he asked.

‘Good’ Neal answered, curtly. ‘Can I go now?’

The doctor gave him a smirk. ‘Dizziness?’

‘No’ Neal lied. He _was_ feeling better but he still felt like he might keel over any minute.

‘What about drowsiness?’

‘I’m fine!’ Neal said a little too loudly.

‘All right, you can go’ the doctor said, exasperated by his patient. ‘But no driving for the next few hours and come back if the symptoms persist.’

Neal nodded, more than ready to get out of there although where he was headed, he hadn’t a clue. His musings were interrupted by Jones who spoke up.

‘The passengers are boarding the plane’ he announced as Neal glanced anxiously at Peter.

Peter took Neal’s phone out of his pocket and handed it back to its rightful owner, Neal glancing down at it by reflex. 

No new messages.

WCWCWC

Sara drifted in and out of consciousness. There was no longer any noise in the room where she sat, still tied to the chair. Were they finally gone? Maybe if she could just focus for a minute she could try to call for help…

Her stomach lurched and she fought back the bile; she would suffocate if she threw up and yet, her body was failing her miserably. The gag they’d shoved deep in her mouth pulled insistently at her jaw, making it ache and she felt tears streaming down her face – angry, frustrated tears. Her body swayed uncontrollably as she tried to move on the chair. Maybe if she tipped it over and tried to make some noise, she could attract some attention. 

It was her last coherent thought before she blacked out again.

WCWCWC

Neal watched from the passenger’s seat of the car as Jones paced nearby, talking on the phone.He and Peter were ready to take off the minute they got the word – a word they weren’t even sure would ever come.

Jones returned to where the two friends sat and leaned into the open car window to give the latest report.

‘Apparently, the plane is scheduled to take off in less than five minutes. The Homeland Security agents are sitting right behind our two guys, waiting for word from us that Sara’s safe before they move in’ he explained.

All three men were versed enough in this type of situation to know that if the plane took off without a word from the kidnappers, the chances were slim that they would be getting in touch with Neal at all. They also knew that if the Feds stepped in and made the arrest, the two men would _never_ divulge Sara’s location. They had a small window of time and Neal stared, unblinking, at his phone, praying for some word as to where his wife had been secreted away. 

Finding her was only the beginning. He had no idea what state she would be in when – and if – they finally located her. Had they left her alive? If so, how badly hurt was she? The words of the North Korean man kept playing over and over in his mind – had Sara been sexually assaulted, raped? Neal shuddered at the thought and glanced over at Peter who seemed to surmise what was on his mind.

‘We’ll deal with it, whatever condition she’s in…’ he said in answer to Neal’s worried look.

WCWCWC

The two men sat side by side on the plane, listening as the engines finally started up. Huyn looked over to his beefy friend, eyes questioning. He was still nursing his hand, the one Sara had successfully bitten down on before they’d gotten the brilliant idea to gag her. The larger man reached for his phone, preparing to send a text as the plane began to taxi off the runway.

‘We should just let her rot’ Huyn whispered.

‘We’re not being paid by the body bag’ the larger man murmured back.

They had what they’d come for and in a few hours, they’d be landing safely back home, away from the long arm of the U.S. law. What could possibly go wrong?

WCWCWC

Neal’s phone came to life as all three men stared down at it expectantly. Unknown number, Neal noted as his breath hitched and he clicked on the message.

‘Rossmore Motel, room 12’ it read as Peter pulled out his phone to locate the address.

‘Tell them to hold off until we have her!’ Neal called out to Jones as the agent ran towards his vehicle. ‘And call for an ambulance!’

Peter handed Neal the phone as he began to back the car out of the emergency room parking lot. The motel in question was in the Bronx, a mere six blocks from the warehouse Neal had just visited and Peter hit the street with a loud screech as Neal called out directions. 

They arrived in less than fifteen minutes, Peter gunning it and hoping he wouldn’t be stopped along the way for speeding – which he was definitely doing. The part of town the motel was located in was practically deserted and the sign for the motel was lit in a dingy, faded red, inviting anyone to come on in and visit the ‘osmre otel’. The place was dark and dilapidated and a few youngsters, who were definitely up to no good, reluctantly stepped out of the way as Peter sped into the parking lot, eyes searching for room 12 – although the poor lighting made it almost impossible to see.

Neal’s car door was open before Peter even brought the car to a stop and the older man watched as his best friend ran off and began a frantic search for the room where he desperately hoped to find Sara safe and sound.

‘Neal! Wait!’ Peter called out as he brought the car to a full stop.

He didn’t have a clue what Neal would find when he got to the designated room – if anything.This could all be a sick joke; the room could be empty or worse yet, Neal might be preparing to walk in on his wife unconscious and beaten – or worse.

Peter followed Neal as he frantically went from room to room, trying to make out the numbers on the doors – most of which were missing. 

‘This is room 10!’ Peter called out as he headed out in the opposite direction, hoping to cover more territory. Neal did an about face, following Peter’s lead as they finally arrived a room with a 2 hanging crookedly on a rusty nail. Without hesitation, Neal gave the door a good sturdy kick, feeling it start to give under the weight of his foot. He felt Peter’s hand on his arm and took a step back as the two of them ploughed together into the old, weathered door, watching as it finally gave way. Despite the almost total darkness in the room, they could see a form lying on the floor, misshapen somehow, and Neal moved decisively towards it while Peter felt around for the light switch. A bright fluorescent light finally flooded the room, revealing Sara’s body lying on her side, still tethered to a chair, her hands and feet zip tied.

‘Sara!’ Neal called out breathlessly.

She lay there, motionless, hair covering her face, body contorted as it lay, still attached to the hard, unyielding chair.

Neal was instantly on his knees, pulling the gag out of her mouth and trying to ascertain if his wife was breathing. He pushed aside the hair from her face to take a look, noticing bruises on both her cheeks as he reached out tentatively to touch her neck and check for a pulse. The jostling of her body seemed to cause her breathing to resume and he heard a soft gasp of air as she resumed taking shallow, uneven breaths.

‘She’s alive’ he told Peter as he began the job of untying her from the chair. He could hear Peter in the background, no doubt talking to Jones and letting him know the agents could go ahead with the arrest. The next thing he knew, Peter was by his side, pocket knife in hand as he cut the ties from Sara’s wrists. Her wrists were bloody, the zip ties having cut right through the delicate skin and Neal took a deep breath to steady himself, suddenly feeling dizzy at the sight. Sara’s breathing continued, shallow, the only sign that she was still alive. Her body fell listlessly as her feet were freed from the confines of the zip ties and Neal glanced up at Peter, almost afraid to move her from the spot although he longed to lift her up and cradle her in his arms.

‘Let’s put her on the bed’ Peter suggested as Neal’s arms reached around under Sara’s knees and shoulders to gently lift her off the ground. 

She was like a rag doll, totally limp and unresponsive and Neal gingerly lifted her off the ground and carried her to the nearby bed – which looked like it had definitely seen better days. Her weight sagged on the mattress and Neal kneeled next to the bed to get a better look at her face, white as a sheet except for the red marks where she’d obviously been slapped – or if the size of the welts were any indication – punched. 

‘Sara, baby… it’s me. Open your eyes, sweetie, open your eyes’ Neal urged as Peter hovered by the room door, waiting for the ambulance to arrive.

‘She’s not moving….’ Neal shouted, his voice wavering.

‘The ambulance will be here any minute’ Peter answered as he continued to pace. 

‘Her breathing… it keeps stopping and starting again’ Neal observed, unable to tear his eyes away from his wife’s battered face.

‘She’s probably highly sedated’ Peter explained, trying to keep Neal from totally losing it.

‘Oh, my God!’ Neal cried. ‘She’s… she’s… Sara, Sara… come on baby…look at me’ he repeated softly to no avail.

Neal held her wrist encrusted in dried blood, kissing it gently as he held back tears. He ran his hand through her hair, noticing her eyes still firmly closed as she let out a soft, barely audible moan at the gentle touch of his hand. He could see dried up tears on her cheeks, intermingled with blood from the injury to her face and he began to check her out, to see if she had any other visible injuries. Her ankles were swollen and red, no doubt from efforts to try to free herself and he noticed some bruising on her belly as he gently lifted up the bottom of her t-shirt, thinking of the pain she must have endured to cause such damage to her frail body. Sara was a slight woman – although she wore her clothing and her stiletto heels like armour, always appearing to be so much more fearless than she truly was. Now, lying on the bed without the benefit of said armour, she looked so tiny, so vulnerable – a stark reminder that she was a mere mortal and not the feisty, fearless Sara Ellis she liked to present to the world.

Neal was overcome with a multitude of emotions – relief at having found her, apprehension at the extent of her injuries, terror at the thought of what she might have endured. He let his head drop onto the bed next to her and let out a long, guttural moan.

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

Everyone waited with bated breath for the phone to ring but it was the startling sound of the doorbell that made everyone jump out of their skin just a little after 10:00 on this Monday night. Mozzie and Elizabeth exchanged worried looks; who could be calling at this hour?

‘Stay here’ Mozzie told the group, in an unusual show of fortitude as Elizabeth followed him to the front door of the Caffrey home.

Hope stood, ready to react – could it be the police bringing bad news?

The familiar sound of Cameron Armstrong’s voice was heard in the front hall and instinctively, Hope found herself running towards him and throwing her arms around his neck as he teetered off balance in reaction to the unexpected embrace.

‘Cam!I’m so glad you’re here!’ she said, her eyes filling with tears.

‘I needed to sort everything out at the gallery… and then my car broke down – I had to bus it over’ he explained, relieved at the reaction he was getting from the woman he’d been estranged from for the past few months. ‘I hope you don’t mind me coming over.’

Mozzie and Elizabeth shared a knowing look – it was as obvious as the nose on their faces that these two still had deep feelings for each other.

‘I’m _so_ glad you’re here’ Hope whispered into his ear, arms lingering around his neck.

‘Have you heard anything yet?’ he asked, reluctantly letting her slip out of his grasp.

She shook her head and took his hand, guiding him back to the kitchen where Caitlin and Liam sat, trying to look interested in the game of Scrabble they’d all been pretending to play. 

‘No, not yet. Dad or Uncle Peter should be calling anytime now’ Hope said, regaining control of her emotions. ‘How did you know I was home?’

‘Your uncle Peter mentioned it this afternoon…’ the young man said. ‘I didn’t want to intrude.’

Hope smiled through unshed tears – it was obvious to everyone in the room that Cam’s arrival was more than welcome. Hope’s feelings towards her ex-boyfriend had never been in doubt; when they’d decided to go their separate ways, it was with the intention of giving each other the space they needed to meet other people while they were physically apart. Seeing him again in such trying circumstances brought back all those familiar feelings of warmth and comfort and to Cam’s obvious delight, Hope took a spot on the couch in the family room and unabashedly melted into his side as everyone continued their vigil.

Elizabeth winked at Mozzie; maybe something good would come from all this. 

WCWCWC

‘I think I hear them coming…’ Peter mumbled as he stood in the doorway of the motel room, waiting for the ambulance to arrive.

Neal hadn’t moved from Sara's side, eyes riveted on her face while he waited for her to regain consciousness. Whatever drugs they’d given her had really knocked her out and his efforts to get her to open her eyes had still not paid off. He brought his lips to her forehead, pushing her hair back, his eyes drawn once again to the large welts on both her cheeks, obvious signs of the violence she’d suffered, the extent of which he couldn’t even fathom. He ran his fingers down her arm, over the prick marks on the inside of her elbow and down to her hand. He lingered on her bloody wrist for a brief second and he felt her stir ever so slightly, her eyes opening for just a brief instant before fluttering shut again.

‘Sara…’ he said at the brief glimpse into her unresponsive eyes. ‘What have they done to you?’ he whispered as Peter came over to stand next to him.

He placed his hand on Neal’s shoulder in a show of support. ‘The ambulance is coming; I can hear it.’

Neal didn’t bother to respond. He was working on pure adrenaline, the drugs with which he’d been injected were still coursing through his veins; he could feel himself floating, as if this was all a bad dream and he shook off the feeling, needing to stay alert.

‘What if the guy really did…’ he began, unable to fully articulate the horrific thought which had begun to form in his mind ever since his run-in with Sara’s kidnapper.

Peter just let out an unsteady breath and shrugged, uncertain what he could possibly say to reassure his best friend. He couldn’t even imagine what Neal was going through. If that had been Elizabeth lying there, they would have to physically restrain him to keep him from tearing the perp’s heads off.

‘We can ask them to… run some tests’ he said meekly, although finding out for certain whether or not Sara had been sexually assaulted would only serve to make this nightmare even worse.

He felt Neal shudder and suddenly the sound of the siren grew louder and Peter moved back towards the door to signal the paramedics.

‘Over here!’ Neal heard Peter shout as he stood to make room for their arrival.

‘What happened?’ the first paramedic asked as they made their way over to where Sara lay, unresponsive.

‘She’s been drugged but… we don’t know with what’ Peter said as Neal stood by, staring down at the scene, almost an out of body experience.

‘Probably some sort of sedative…’ Neal added as he watched the two men check Sara’s vital signs. 

The movement of their hands on her body seemed to bring Sara around and her eyes opened again as she moaned mournfully.

‘Be careful…’ Neal warned unnecessarily as he took a step closer.

Sara’s eyes closed as quickly as they’d opened and an oxygen mask was placed on her face. Neal watched with a grimace as they lifted her from the bed onto the nearby gurney.

‘I want to come with you’ he said, his voice shaky.‘She’s my wife.’

One of the paramedics nodded and Neal followed them out without a word. 

‘Lincoln’ the second man said as they breezed past Peter, standing there, shell shocked.

‘I’ll meet you there’ Peter called out to Neal whose attention was completely focussed on Sara’s inert form as it was being wheeled out.

Thankfully, the ride to the hospital was short and uneventful. Neal was more than anxious to have Sara looked at. It was obvious, she’d been given an overdose and was lucky to be alive. The paramedic who sat with Sara monitored her breathing and asked Neal a few rudimentary questions about her general state of health, allergies or health issues and Neal responded by rote, not even computing what was going on. 

Peter arrived at the hospital right behind him, their second visit of the night as Dr. Simons, the same doctor who’d treated Neal, met them at the door to the ER while the paramedics briefed him, using words scary like apnea and hypoxemia and bradycardia.

Neal was ushered into the back with Sara, leaving Peter to sit by himself in the waiting room for the second time that night. He pulled out his phone, intent on reassuring everyone back at the Caffrey house – although the news he had to share was far from reassuring. 

WCWCWC

‘Honey, what’s going on?’ Elizabeth asked as everyone in the room gathered around her.

‘We found her’ Peter said, letting out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. ‘We’re at Lincoln Hospital in the Bronx. Neal is back there with her but I haven’t heard anything more.’

‘Oh, thank God!’ El said as she repeated what Peter had just said to the rest of the group.

‘We’re coming down to the hospital’ Elizabeth said as everyone began to scatter, preparing to leave the house.

‘I’ll call you if I hear anything more in the meantime’ Peter added as he anxiously glanced down the hallway where Neal had disappeared moments earlier.

Elizabeth could hear the worry in her husband’s voice and she waited for him to continue, sensing he had something else to say. 

‘It’s _not_ good, El’ he added before hanging up.

WCWCWC

‘Mr. Caffrey, how are you feeling?’ Dr. Simons asked as he joined Neal in the small waiting area adjacent to the treatment room.

‘I’m fine. How’s my wife?’ Neal asked as he stood to face the doctor.

‘Sit, sit’ the doctor said as he took the armchair across from where Neal had been waiting.

‘She’s had a massive overdose of sedatives – some combination of Diazepam and Xanax as far as we can tell. She appears to have been given repeated doses over the past eighteen or so hours’ he explained as Neal’s eyes widened in response.

‘She had a seizure a few moments ago…’ he added as Neal gasped.‘… but she’s fine now.We’ve given her some Flumazenil to counter the worst of the symptoms and we should see an improvement in the next little while.’

‘She was having trouble breathing…’ Neal volunteered.

‘That’s typical – it’s apnea. Her central nervous system was so depressed, she was having difficulty breathing’ the doctor explained. ‘Her heart rate is too slow and her oxygen is dangerously low. We’ve had to intubate her…’

Neal stared ahead, trying to fully comprehend what he was being told.‘…but it’s only temporary. She’s opened her eyes a few times and that’s a very good sign.’

‘Can I see her?’ Neal asked, standing.

‘You can. But don’t expect her to be responsive and while she’d intubated, it’s important that she remain calm’ Dr. Simons explained.

Neal nodded and began to move towards the door before turning back to face the doctor once more.

‘There’s something else’ he said, his voice trembling.‘I think she… she might have been sexually assaulted.’

The doctor let out a sigh and watched Neal’s contorted face as he continued. ‘She was being held against her will and… what should we do?’

‘Are you asking if we can test her to see if there’s any evidence of sexual assault?’ the doctor asked.

‘What does that… entail, exactly?’ Neal asked, wondering if it was a good idea to open this can of worms. After all, the kidnapper could have been bluffing, trying to get Neal’s goat.

‘Well, we’ve already removed her clothes and they’ve been set aside in a sterile bag.We can certainly test them for any evidence of sexual assault… and we can do a physical examination.’

Neal winced at the thought of Sara having to go through any more than she’d already endured.

‘But we need to have the patient’s consent to do any of that’ the doctor explained.

Neal looked down at the floor and let out a long slow breath, afraid he might pass out. ‘How long… how much time before it’s…’

‘Inconclusive?’ the doctor asked as Neal nodded. ‘If we don’t tamper with the evidence, we have anywhere from 48 to 72 hours to collect evidence. There’s a very strict protocol though – and the police will need to be involved.’

Neal nodded. ‘When will she be lucid enough to make that kind of decision?’

‘Hopefully, the drugs will start to leave her system within the next couple of hours’ the doctor explained.

‘Can you… just wait until _then_ to do anything?’ Neal asked, unsure as to the best of course of action.

‘I’ll make sure that none of the evidence is tampered with’ Dr. Simons said as he put a hand on Neal’s shoulder and led him out.

WCWCWC

‘Do you think we’ll be allowed to see her?’ Liam asked as he sat next to Mozzie in the older man’s beat up van.

‘I don’t know, buddy. We’ll find out when we get there.’

‘But Uncle Peter said she’s safe…’ Liam began, looking for some sort of reassurance.

‘Yup’ answered Mozzie, trying to sound upbeat – definitely against his nature. ‘But we’ll know more when we get there’ he repeated, uncertain about what was waiting for them on the other end.

‘Mom’s strong…’ the teenager said in an attempt to convince himself. ‘I remember when Dad got shot, she kept the whole family together. She’s… pretty amazing.’

Mozzie thought of Sara Ellis, the woman who had single-handedly changed Neal from a full time conman to a rascally, yet loving, husband and dad. He and Sara had had their ups and downs over the years and his buddy’s wife was definitely not a pushover but they’d found a way to co-exist in Neal’s world and Mozzie had always been thankful that she put with his many idiosyncrasies. She’d not only tolerated him but she’d invited him into their life – giving him a godson Mozzie could never have imagined having. He glanced over at the young man sitting next to him and went for the reassuring smile.

‘Yes, she is’ he answered.

TBC 


	14. Chapter 14

Dr. Simons escorted Neal up to the fifth floor where Sara had been admitted to a private room. As eager as Neal was to see his wife, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of dread as he thought ahead to the coming hours, days and weeks. He had an uneasy sense of foreboding; what would normally be a happy ending to a horrible ordeal was only the beginning and Sara would need help to get through the next little while. The physical wounds would disappear over time but the emotional scars might linger for many months to come.

From the moment Neal Caffrey had first laid eyes on her, Sara Ellis had shown him what an incredibly determined and feisty woman she was – capable of dealing with almost anything life threw her way. Their non-traditional relationship had served both Neal and Sara well over time, she, the no-nonsense straight shooter and he, the soft-hearted, impulsive one. It had become evident early on in their relationship that they were both strong, independent individuals who didn’t need anyone else to make them feel complete – and yet, they complemented each other in ways they never could have imagined. Over time, Neal had managed to break through Sara’s coriaceous shell, bringing out the softer side of his wife and Sara had relentlessly called him on his crap, keeping him honest in more ways than one. 

The words ‘Sara’ and ‘vulnerable’ were an unlikely combination and yet, it was the first word that sprung to mind when Neal stepped into her hospital room and caught a glimpse of her on the stark white sheets with a breathing tube down her throat. Sara’s demeanour was always gutsy and fearless and over the years, he’d seen her face down men he would have cowered from as she went about her job as an insurance investigator. But this had been a one sided battle, Sara deprived of her usual dry wit and quick thinking, physically restrained as two cowards abused her in ways Neal couldn’t even imagine.

He walked over to the bed, the soft beeping of the monitors around them, and he pulled up the one and only chair in the small room, letting his weary body settle by her side. He rested his face near hers, the warmth of her body a welcome sign of life as he kissed her cheek gently.

‘Sara, I’m here’ he said simply as her eyes fluttered open.

She sputtered, trying to fight the odd sensation in her throat. After being gagged for who knew how long, it seemed cruel and unusual punishment to have her breathing impaired by a breathing tube and Neal watched her eyes widen in horror.

‘It’s okay, baby, it’s okay. Don’t fight it’ he said as he stood, hovering over her. ‘It’s a breathing tube… it’s helping you breathe.’

Sara made some horrible, guttural sound as her eyes grew even wider and Neal stared in dismay at the look of sheer terror in her eyes.

‘Sara, come on… you can do this. Listen to me… try to breathe along with the machine. Watch me’ he said as he tried to get her to concentrate on his face, slowing down his breathing to match the repetitive in and out sounds made by the respirator.

She seemed to calm down at the soft sound of his voice and before Neal knew what happened, her eyes fluttered shut once again as he stood there, shaking uncontrollably.

WCWCWC

‘Why can’t we see her?’ Caitlin asked as the group settled into the small waiting room up on the fifth floor.

‘You will, honey’ Elizabeth said. ‘Just not… right away.’

Peter had filled everyone in on the latest on Sara’s condition. She was still sedated but was slowly coming out of it and Neal had asked for some time alone with her before letting everyone in to see her. It was past 2:00 in the morning and yet, sleep was the furthest thing from anyone’s mind.

‘You’re sure she’s out of danger?’ Hope asked, as she sat with Cam’s hand clasped firmly in hers.

‘I promise’ Peter said as he turned to glance at Liam. As usual, the young man was quiet, dealing with things in his own understated way.

‘You okay?’ he asked as he exchanged worried looks with Mozzie.

‘I’m fine’ Liam answered in his usual, no nonsense way. ‘I just want to see her...’

He had just finished speaking when Neal appeared in the doorway, looking worse for wear. The three kids were instantly on their feet, surrounding him, Hope’s arms around his waist as she nestled her head against his chest.

‘She’s doing better’ Neal murmured, his voice quiet. ‘She needs some rest and I think you should all go home and come back in the morning.’

A chorus of ‘nos’ was heard as everyone, including Elizabeth reacted the same way to Neal’s suggestion.

‘Look, she’s sedated and she has a breathing tube… she won’t even know you’re there’ Neal said, insisting.

‘That doesn’t matter, Dad. We just want to see her’ Hope said, insistent.

Neal let out a slow breath. He didn’t want the kids upset at the sight of their mom with a breathing tube and multiple lacerations on her face and yet, he knew they wouldn’t give up until he agreed. He pulled them all over to the sitting area, taking a spot between Liam and Hope and he took a deep breath before preparing them for what they were about to see.

‘Her face… her face has bruises and welts…’ he began as Liam’s mouth dropped open. ‘And she has a breathing tube which looks a lot worse than it is.’

Hope stared at her dad; she could tell he wasn’t telling them everything. ‘You can go in and say goodnight and then… I want you all to go home. Deal?’

He watched as all three of them gave a reluctant nod and he stood to lead the way down the hall as the small parade followed.

Elizabeth reached out for Peter, settling into his arms as Mozzie looked on.

‘She’s going to be fine’ Peter said, trying to convince them all.

WCWCWC

Once the kids had said goodnight, Neal settled back in to sit by Sara’s side. Her oxygen was improving and after mentioning the fact that Sara had been gagged and restrained, Dr. Simons agreed to remove the breathing tube and see if she could manage without it. Having her upset unnecessarily wasn’t going to help her deal with the aftermath of her ordeal; the faster she came out of her sedative stupor the better. 

Neal had momentarily nodded off with his head by Sara’s hand when he felt her familiar hand on his head, gently tugging at his hair.

He sat up in an instant, his eyes drawn to Sara’s mangled face, her beautiful green eyes wide open.

‘You’re awake!’ he said as he stood and settled on the edge of the bed.

‘You came for me’ she said, her voice raspy.

Neal felt a lump form in his throat. It was all his fault that she’d been taken away in the first place. If only he’d insisted she go stay at the Burkes, she wouldn’t have had to go through this horrible nightmare.

‘Of course I came for you…’ he answered, his voice breaking. ‘I’m so sorry.’

Sara’s eyes narrowed at his last statement and she reached out to touch her husband’s face.

‘Not…your fault’ she managed to say before her eyes closed momentarily.

He managed a small smile, his hands reaching out to touch her hair. ‘Everything’s going to be all right’ he added. ‘I promise.’

She nodded weakly, seeing the worry in Neal’s eyes. ‘That’s my line’ she said, her voice weak.

It was Neal’s turn to smile and he leaned down to kiss the top of her head. The look in her eyes grew distant and Neal imagined she was reliving the harrowing hours while she’d been held captive by the two animals.

‘What happened?’ she asked.

‘They were arrested trying to leave the country’ Neal answered.

She frowned. ‘How did you find me?’

‘I got a text telling me where they were keeping you. I guess they thought they were home free.’

Sara got a faraway look in her eyes once more and Neal felt the need to dig a little deeper – as much as he didn’t want to know.

‘Baby, what did they do to you?’ he whispered, terrified of the answer.

Her eyes moved to meet his, tears appearing suddenly and in that moment, Neal knew that it was all too real, that his worst fears were coming true.

She remained silent as jumbled thoughts competed for attention in her muddled mind.

‘Did they… did they rape you?’ Neal asked finally as he ran a loving hand through her hair.

Sara looked away and let her eyes close, trying to steady her breathing. When she opened them, Neal saw the vulnerability there and he had to remind himself to keep breathing.

‘I… I’m not sure’ she answered as the memories began to slowly return.

‘Did they… touch you?’ Neal said hesitantly. If he said the words, it would make it all true.

Sara nodded as she remembered the clammy hands on her body as she’d tried valiantly to fight off her attacker. Despite his efforts to keep it together, Neal’s head dropped next to hers and he began to sob softly as he continued running his hand through her hair.

‘This is all my fault’ he repeated as Sara began to cry softly.

WCWCWC

By 9:30 the next morning, Sara had agreed to be tested despite the additional indignity involved.The memories were returning sporadically; she could see one of the captors hovering over her, hand on his belt buckle and she could still feel his clammy hands roaming under her shirt. The police had been summoned and she sat up in bed with Neal holding her hand while she was interviewed, each question triggering a memory more painful than the next. 

Neal was taken aside and questioned as well. He was asked to supply a sperm sample and questioned as to the last time he and his wife had had intercourse. The whole experience was dehumanizing and yet, Sara seemed determined to get to the bottom of things; although she had no recollection of intercourse per se, she had memories of being touched repeatedly as she tried to fight her assailant between bouts of unconsciousness during which she had no idea what had happened. 

The kids and the Burkes came by to visit at noon and Neal and Sara put on a brave face, unwilling to share their latest concern with their offspring. Sara had all but recovered from the drugs she’d ingested and her physical injuries, including a badly infected wound on her wrist had been seen to and were on the way to healing – although the emotional scars would take much longer to heal. 

She sat up and smiled at her visitors, reassuring everyone that she was fine and would be home in a couple of days and Neal played along, smiling broadly at having his wife back safe and sound. Peter stayed behind to keep Neal company and El took the brood out to lunch while Sara was whisked away for more tests. 

The two men sat in the hospital cafeteria, over a cup of coffee and Peter could tell all was not well by the look in his best friend’s eyes.

‘Sara’s looking much better’ he said, trying to sound encouraging.

Neal gave a self-conscious smile, one that Peter immediately recognized. ‘What is it you’re not telling me?’ he asked as Neal continued to avoid his partner’s eyes.

‘Am I that transparent?’ he asked, trying to shift the conversation.

‘Yes. And stop stalling’ Peter replied.

‘The police were here this morning’ Neal began as Peter’s eyes widened. ‘They’re running some tests… to prove that Sara was sexually assaulted.’

‘Oh, Neal. I’m so sorry…’ Peter said, searching the other man’s eyes.

Neal swallowed and returned his absent gaze to his cup of coffee. ‘I guess she needs to know.’

‘What about you? Are you all right?’

Neal scoffed loudly, followed by a most sardonic laugh. 

‘No’ he answered simply, eyes filling with unshed tears.

Peter sat in silence; what could he possibly say in response to such brutal honesty?

‘Just the thought of… someone disrespecting _any_ woman like that…let alone Sara’ Neal began, his voice fading. ‘She’s remembering some stuff but the sedatives… well, she still doesn’t remember everything.’

Peter just waited for Neal to continue, watching as an unexpected look of pure hate flashed in his eyes.

‘I want to _kill_ the son of a bitch’ Neal uttered, uncharacteristically angry.

‘Of course you do’ Peter said.

Neal seemed to let go of the thought momentarily as he glanced at his watch. ‘I need to get back, Sara will be back in her room by now.’

‘Sure. Look, don’t worry about the kids. We’ve got everything covered’ Peter said as he touched Neal’s arm.

They parted ways and Neal dragged himself back up to the fifth floor, exhausted from the last thirty-six hours and eager to see how Sara was doing. 

The moment he stepped into the room, he could hear soft whimpering as Sara sat up looking flustered and more than a little upset. The sound of her voice when she spoke, so frantic and panicked, sent shivers down his spine.

‘Where were you?’ she cried. 'I got back here and you were gone.’

TBC


	15. Chapter 15

Sara Ellis could never be described as emotionally needy or insecure and for that very reason, the words she’d just uttered along with the accompanying look of total panic in her eyes struck Neal to the very core. He quickened his step, closing the distance between them as he got closer to her hospital bed.

‘I’m right here, honey. I was just having coffee with Peter’ he said, his voice soft and soothing.

Sara took a couple of deep breaths and sniffled uncharacteristically as Neal handed her a tissue.

‘Sorry’ she muttered, realizing her reaction had been somewhat over the top. ‘I just… I got scared when I got back and you weren’t here.’

‘It’s okay. I’m sorry if I scared you’ Neal said as he sat on the edge of the bed and wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

Without hesitation, Sara threw her arms around Neal’s waist, feeling his solid, comforting form against her shaking body as he held her tight. After a moment, the anxiety seemed to vanish and she pulled away, feeling silly about her little meltdown.

‘Sara, what you went through… it’s _okay_ to be scared’ Neal said as he ran a loving hand down her arm.

Sara broke the gaze and looked away, obviously embarrassed at her uncharacteristic emotional outburst. 

‘So, how did it go?’ Neal asked.

She shrugged; having a gynecological exam was never fun and the circumstances in this particular case were horrific, there was no pretending otherwise. Neal climbed alongside her on the bed, his arm around her as she let herself be comforted. Her body was sore all over and every movement reminded her of what those assholes had put her through.

‘I _tried_ to get away…’ she said, her voice small as she pushed her face into Neal’s chest. ‘I got away from one of them but when I got to the door, the other one was standing there, blocking my way.’

Neal closed his eyes as he listened, steadying his breathing as he tried to imagine just how terrifying the whole experience must have been.

‘I should have found a way to get away from them…’ Sara cried, her voice muffled.

‘Oh, honey, don’t say that. You did everything you could. _I’m_ the one who’s to blame for all this.I should have insisted you go stay at Peter and Elizabeth’s.’

Sara let out a strangled sound – half sob, half laugh – and she pulled away to look at Neal.

‘In twenty years of marriage, have you ever known me to listen to _anything_ you say?’ she asked, laughing and crying simultaneously.

Her comment seemed to break the tension as Neal joined in, grinning despite himself.

‘… and I wouldn’t want it any other way’ he added.

‘Did they really make you… you know… in a cup?’ she asked, trying to make Neal laugh.

He scoffed; it was his turn to be embarrassed. ‘Talk about trying to get in the mood’ he answered playfully as he watched her smile slowly melt into a frown. 

‘Hey, it’s going to be okay’ he said, kissing the top of her head. ‘We’ll get through this.’

WCWCWC

‘The place looks the same’ Hope said as she walked around Cam’s apartment, touching all the surfaces, as if for the first time.

‘You’ve only been gone a couple of months’ Cameron replied with a giggle. ‘Ginger ale okay?’ he asked as he stood in front of the open fridge.

Hope took the can from his hand and popped it open as Cam’s eyes studied her carefully.

‘What?’ she asked as she took in the look of curiosity in his eyes.

‘Nothing… you look… different’ he said with a crooked smile.

‘Different? It’s only been a couple of months’ she replied, echoing his earlier response.

Cameron laughed, a deep, relaxed laugh; he hadn’t laughed so good heartedly since… well, since Hope had left.

‘So, Mr. Burke said it was your exam week’ he said, trying to keep things light.

‘Don’t remind me. They gave me a reprieve until next week so, basically, I can stay up until the weekend.’

‘Do you have plans while you’re here?’ he asked, hinting not so subtly at the possibility of spending time together.

‘Well, I want to spend time with my mom… and my dad but, I guess, I’ll have _some_ free time’ she cooed as she moved in closer to Cam, closer than she should.

‘Oh yeah?’ he answered, his voice soft and sexy.

‘Yeah’ she said, her lips mere inches from his.

It was impossible to know who made the first move but within moments, they were kissing – deeply, passionately, without restraint. The feelings flooded back as the lovers found each other again after too much time apart.

‘Are you sure…’ Cam said as he came up for air, immediately returning to his ex-girlfriend’s lips.

‘Uh huh’ she mumbled as she tugged insistently at his shirt.

‘Welcome home, sweetie!’ Cam said, out of breath.

WCWCWC

‘I don’t _want_ to tell him’ Peter said as he tucked into his dinner. 

‘But honey, he’s gonna figure it out’ El countered.

‘Let him.I’m not going to burden Neal with this; he’s got enough on his plate’ Peter insisted.

‘Don’t you think he’ll notice when you’re not at the gallery for six weeks?’ El said as she played listlessly with the food on her plate.

‘Look, I don’t go in until Friday.I’ll make sure everything’s covered at the gallery and I’ll tell him on Thursday night. Sara should be out of the hospital by then’ he argued.

He glanced up at his wife, seeing that look of worry which was all too common these days.

‘Honey’ he said, taking her hand. ‘I’m going to be fine. They’ll take out my prostate and I’ll be back on my feet in a few weeks.’

Elizabeth Burke forced a smile; she knew he was right. But Peter was pushing seventy and surgery was surgery with all its inherent risks. It was just like him to make light of the situation and downplay the dangers associated with prostate cancer. He’d been living with the disease for over six years and the slow growing cancer hadn’t required surgery up until now. Peter’s specialist had suggested he have the surgery; his prognosis was excellent and Dr. Samuels had reassured him he would be able to resume a normal life in four to six weeks.

Realizing she wasn’t going to win this argument, Elizabeth moved on to another topic.

‘Sara looked a little better tonight’ she said, her mind wandering. ‘She’s going to get those test results in the morning and I can tell when I look at her that she keeps replaying whatever horrible things happened to her while she was being held.’

‘Jones says they got DNA samples from the perps’ Peter added wistfully. ‘I can’t even imagine what the two of them are going through.’

Elizabeth gave her husband a wistful smile and watched as he took a large bite of his steak. 

WCWCWC

Mozzie had agreed to stay at the house with Caitlin and Liam while Neal spent the second night in a row at Sara’s bedside. No matter what she said, she was _not_ ready to be left alone – and Neal wasn’t ready to leave her side either. She’d been snatched from the safety of their bedroom two nights before while he lay unconscious nearby; he wasn’t letting her out of his sight for the foreseeable future. 

Neal watched from the nearby chair as Sara slept fitfully. She’d been having constant nightmares since the kidnapping and despite a little something to help her sleep, he could see her moving on the bed, head thrashing from side to side as she moaned loudly.

‘Sara?’ Neal said as he stepped in closer, touching her arm.

Her response, in the form of a blood curdling scream, came as a total surprise and Neal jumped back a couple of feet just as the night nurse came running in to see what all the ruckus was about.

Sara’s breathing was off the charts and despite her eyes being wide open, she was having trouble connecting with reality, her dream state lingering despite the fact she seemed wide awake.

‘Sara, honey, it’s okay, it’s me. You were dreaming’ Neal said as he moved in closer and sat on the edge of the bed, desperately trying to bring her back to reality.

It took much longer than it should have for her to regain her senses and recognize Neal for who he was, instead of one of her attackers.

‘It was so real… he was here…’ she sobbed breathlessly as she sat up to try to get her bearings. 

Suddenly the heavy breathing turned into sobs as she began to cry, hands covering her face.Neal’s arms reached out to hold her and he could feel her body stiffen under his loving touch.He pulled away, not wanting to upset her any further and she uncovered her face only to see the crestfallen look in his eyes.

‘Neal?’ she said, voice halting.

‘Honey, tell me what I need to do to make it better’ he said patiently as he waited for her to tell him how he could help. 

‘Will you lie down with me and hold me?’ she said, sounding like a hurt child.

‘Of course I will’ he said, as he took off his shoes and slipped onto the narrow bed next to her.

‘…and _don’t_ let me go’ she added, her voice small.

‘I won’t let you go’ he said as he settled in alongside her, arms wrapped tightly around her shaking body. ‘Like this?’ he asked.

‘Yes’ she whispered as she latched on to his hand and held on tight.

‘I love you Sara’ Neal murmured, unsure if he was helping or not.

‘I know. I love you too’ she whispered back as he felt her body start to relax.

WCWCWC

‘Neal?’ Sara called out, her voice frightened.

Neal snapped out of his uneasy slumber, startled by the sound of her voice and realizing where they were – and why.

‘I’m right here, sweetie’ he said, noticing his arm had fallen away as he’d drifted off to sleep.

‘You said you wouldn’t let go’ Sara said, pulling his arm tightly around her waist.

‘I’ve got you, I’ve got you. My arm just fell away, that’s all. I promise, I’m not going anywhere’ Neal said, his voice sleepy.

He took in an uneasy breath; he’d never seen Sara like this. She was always fearless and confident and the change in her was jarring. 

Those bastards!

WCWCWC

On Wednesday morning, a small group assembled in Sara Ellis’ room on the fifth floor of Lincoln Hospital. Among those in attendance were two police detectives from the sexual assault unit, Dr. Edward Simons as well as Sara Ellis and Neal Caffrey.

Neal sat on the edge of the bed, holding Sara’s hand. She was looking much more alert, despite a poor night’s sleep and the bruises on her face which were now a dark purple colour.She was still sporting fashionable bandages on her injured wrists.

‘We’ve got the results from the tests we ran yesterday’ the good doctor announced as he read from a chart in his hands.

Neal felt Sara’s hand in his as her nails dug into his skin.

‘Sara, we found traces of semen on your clothing, specifically on your t-shirt and yoga pants’ he began as Sara gasped and let out a small cry. ‘The samples don’t match your husband’s DNA and we’re still waiting for Homeland Security to send over the samples they took from the men they arrested.’

She suddenly had an image of one of the men hovering over her, straddling her legs as he touched himself, a sick smile on his face. Neal felt her shudder and he squeezed her hand a little tighter.

‘There were traces of semen in your vagina with your husband’s DNA’ he continued as Sara let out a muffled cry.

‘We also found some DNA not belonging to either one of you on your thighs, your torso and your breasts and there were traces of semen on your face as well – again, not your husband’s’ he said as he handed over a copy of the report to the two detectives.

‘Have you remembered anything more since we spoke yesterday?’ asked the female detective.

Sara nodded as everyone grew quiet. 

‘I remember… the smaller of the two men standing over me… touching himself. My hands were tied behind my back and he made me look at him. He kept slapping my face and telling me to look’ Sara said, her voice quiet.

Neal tried to keep his breathing under control as he listened in horror.

‘And when he took me to the bathroom, he touched me… between my legs.’

Neal felt bile rising in his throat and he swallowed to keep from throwing up in his mouth.

‘One time when I came to, he had his…his mouth on my breast and he held me down with his hands when I tried to fight him off. I bit him, hard… on his hand’ she said, almost in a trance. ‘His left hand, I think…’

She glanced at Neal who was doing his best to keep a poker face; she needed to tell the police what had happened and if she had to relive it by talking about it, he was determined to sit there and hold her hand through it all.

‘He tried to… put his penis in my mouth but I said I would bite it off and he pulled away. That was after I bit his hand’ she said, without emotion.

The room grew quiet and the male detective spoke up, asking if there was anything else she could remember. Sara shook her head no.

‘This is a list of counsellors in the New York area’ he said as he handed a piece of paper to Neal.‘You may want to get in touch… when you’re ready.’

Dr. Simons’ eyes met Neal’s and he could see that he was hanging on by a thread. Neal obviously needed a moment to collect himself after hearing what his wife had been through. 

‘Neal, could you give us a minute please?’ he said.

Neal nodded and squeezed Sara’s hand, unable to look at her in that moment. He made it out of the room, his legs shaking and he ran down the hallway to the nearby washroom where he promptly threw up in the first available stall.

TBC


	16. Chapter 16

Hope stood in the hospital lobby, looking up at the numbers above the elevator as it slowly made its way down to ground level. Ever since the previous night, she’d been walking around with a stupid grin on her face. Seeing Cam again and being with Cam again had been wonderfully amazing and after some mind blowing sex, they had spent hours talking about the future of their relationship and the fact that neither one of them could see themselves with anyone else. The logistics of a long distance romance was still a mystery to the two of them but they’d agreed to give it a try and reassess the situation at Christmas. 

Hope was pulled out of her reverie by the elevator doors opening in front of her and she climbed in, pressing the number five as she prepared to go up and visit her mom. It was Wednesday night and Sara was being released in the morning, something both Hope and her brother were looking forward to. Now that the culprits had been arrested, they could resume their life as before and Hope was glad she’d had the chance to come home – for more reasons than one.

She found her parents snuggled up together on the bed, her mom’s head on his shoulder as they both snoozed and she stepped in quietly as Neal opened his eyes and gave her a gentle smile.He disentangled himself from Sara and stood to greet his daughter with a warm hug. 

‘How is she?’ Hope whispered.

‘ _She’s_ fine’ she heard her mom answer from the bed.

Neal raised his eyebrows. ‘You heard the lady’ he added with a sly smile.

‘This is a nice surprise’ Sara said as she sat up and tried to chase the sleep from her eyes.

‘Well, I thought you might enjoy a little treat’ Hope said as she dangled a Ben and Jerry’s bag in front of her mom’s face. 

‘You didn’t!’ Sara said with a smile. ‘Not…’

‘ _If I had 1,000,000 flavours?_ Of course’ Hope said.

Neal looked from his wife to his daughter; he loved the way they fell so easily into their playful banter. They were two peas in a pod, although so different physically – Hope with her dark, wavy hair and deep blue eyes and Sara so fair. They were two of the smartest, most beautiful women he’d ever known and he loved being in their presence. He heard his stomach grumble and all three of them let out a laugh as he rubbed his tummy. 

‘Well, why don’t I go grab something to eat downstairs and let you two catch up’ he said as he walked over and kissed Sara gently on the lips. ‘I’ll be back soon’ he added with a wink, turning to leave.

Hope settled in the chair by the bed and pulled out two containers of one of Sara’s favourite indulgence, handing one to her mom along with a spoon.

‘You are a _very_ bad influence on me’ Sara said as she dug in, humming her appreciation.

Having Hope home, despite the circumstances, was wonderful. Sara missed having her at home – even though whenever she was home, she was mostly out with friends. 

‘I still can’t believe you came all the way home for me’ Sara said as she took a lick of her spoon.

‘Mom, where else would I _possibly_ be?’ Hope asked as she took her mom’s hand.

‘So, what’s the scoop on your exams?’ Sara asked, trying not to get too caught up in nostalgia. 

‘They gave me a one week reprieve; I get to write them next week’ Hope answered as she licked her spoon clean.

‘Well, I won’t deny it’s great to have you here, no matter the reason’ Sara said, her voice sad.She glanced up at her daughter’s face, grinning from ear to ear – more than just an ice cream grin.

‘You look awfully chipper’ she said, fishing for information.

Hope gave her a conspiratorial smile. 

‘Is that a _Cam_ smile?’ Sara asked.

‘You could always see right through me’ Hope answered as she abandoned the chair and sat on the edge of Sara’s bed, her bright blue eyes alight.

‘Mom, he’s so wonderful’ she gushed, as if she’d just come home from her first date.

‘Oh, honey. I’m happy for you. Cam is a great guy.’

‘Tell me about it’ Hope said as she arched an eyebrow suggestively.

‘Too much information!’ Sara answered playfully as she tugged at Hope’s shirt sleeve.

Hope’s face became serious as she looked into her mom’s eyes. She’d had a feeling something was up since the first night she’d come to the hospital… something her parents were keeping from her.

‘Mom, I know something horrible happened while you were being held captive’ she said.

Sara’s eyes moved to look down at the container of ice cream, unable to lie straight faced to her daughter.

‘What did they do to you?’ she asked, her voice quiet.

Sara’s eyes filled with tears – she hadn’t anticipated the question. ‘You don’t need to know…’ she said, the best she could do under the circumstances.

‘Mom…’ Hope said, putting down the ice cream and throwing herself into Sara’s arms – which only set off the waterworks once more.

Sara sniffled and tried to regain her composure. ‘It’s nothing for you to worry about’ she said, her voice shaky.

‘Of course it is. Did they…’ Hope began, unable to say the words.

‘Honey, don’t’ Sara said, running her hands through Hope thick mane of dark hair. ‘I’m going to be okay. Daddy and I are going to get through this like we _always_ do… together.’

Hope curled up in her mom’s arms, something she hadn’t done for a very long time. She couldn’t bear the thought of her mom being hurt in any way. 

Hope pulled away and gazed at the shell of the woman she’d always admired and she suddenly burst out crying.

WCWCWC

‘Neal, I really think I’ll be okay tonight’ Sara said once Neal had returned.

‘No way. We’ve come this far together, you’re not getting rid of me now’ Neal answered playfully as he finished up the container of ice cream.

‘I’m serious. I want to stay here alone… I _need_ to try’ Sara said as she searched his eyes.‘Besides, the kids need you; you haven’t been home since the weekend.’

Neal studied his wife’s face. He usually knew how to make her feel better but the events of the previous few days had called everything into question and made him doubt everything he said and did. It was a new world and he had no idea what the best course of action was.

‘I don’t know babe…Why are you pushing yourself?’ he asked, taking her hand.

‘Neal, I’m a grown woman in a hospital, surrounded by nursing staff and doctors. I’m safe here… I’ll be fine. Go. Get a good night’s sleep in our bed and come back for me in the morning’ she said, calling on all the courage she could muster.

Neal frowned, second guessing himself. Maybe she _did_ need this – to build up her confidence in herself again.

‘Go’ she repeated as she gave him a playful shove.

He hesitated for a moment and stood, leaning down to kiss the top of her head.

‘Just call if…’

‘I know, I know’ she said in mock frustration. ‘Kiss the kids goodnight for me.’

And just like that, Sara’s lifeline had disappeared and she was about to find out if she could survive alone with herself and her persistent memories.

WCWCWC

Neal let himself fall onto the bed with relief. After two nights curled up on a single bed in a hospital room, his back was eternally grateful for the warmth and comfort of the conjugal bed.He brought the piece of paper the detective had handed him closer to his eyes and frowned in frustration as he reached over for his reading glasses.

There was a discreet knock on the door and he sat up against the headboard as the door opened and Hope’s head appeared along with a second head, one she was carrying in her hands.

‘Dad?’

‘Hey sweet pea. Come on in’ he said with a smile.

Although she’d been home for over two days, Neal hadn’t spent more than five minutes alone with her.

‘So, this must be the famous soapstone sculpture’ he said as he made room on the bed for her to sit.

‘This is she – the bane of my existence for the past month’ Hope said, deadpan.

‘Oh, I like the eyes – a lot’ Neal commented as he began to examine the piece. ‘The nose… not so much.’

‘Don’t sugar coat it, Dad!’ Hope said sarcastically.

‘Hey, you’re the one who told me to be brutally honest, remember?’ he said, frowning. ‘The good news is, it can be saved. You need to bring in the angle here just a touch, that’ll make all the difference’ he continued as he pointed to the tip of the nose.

She watched his face, suddenly animated – whatever troubles he might have forgotten as he immersed himself in the piece of art.

‘I would sand it down just a touch here and maybe define the hair just a little more’ he added as Hope listened intently. ‘If you want, we can work on it together in the studio once your mom gets home.’

‘Thanks’ she said as he handed back the sculpture. ‘So, how’s Mom?’ she asked as she settled at the foot of the bed.

‘She’s fine’ Neal lied, looking away – a tell she had deciphered years ago.

‘No, she’s not’ she answered to Neal’s surprise.

She glanced down at the piece of paper her dad had left on the bed as Neal tried to change the subject.

‘I thought you might be sleeping at Cam’s tonight’ he said with a grin.

‘I see news travels fast’ she responded.

‘Honey, for what it’s worth, I’m happy for you. Cam’s a great guy and he’s crazy about you.’

Hope nodded, her eyes dancing at the thought of the young man.

‘So, is she going to go for counselling?’ she asked, undeterred.

Neal watched her eyes; she’d always been a smart kid, nothing ever got past her.

‘How much do you know?’ he asked, swallowing hard.

‘Enough to fill in the blanks’ she responded, looking worried. ‘Daddy, was she raped?’

‘Not technically but she was assaulted…’ he answered, his voice quiet.

‘Oh, Daddy. What are we gonna do?’

Neal gave her a reassuring smile. ‘We’re gonna do what we _always_ do, stick together and work through it one day at a time. Your mom is amazingly strong…’

‘I know that but this… people’s lives are ruined because of… things like this’ she said.

‘That’s why we’re going to get some help’ Neal said as he pointed to the sheet of paper.

‘Good luck with that’ Hope said; she knew her mom all too well.

Neal leaned over and touched Hope’s arm.‘Honey, try not to worry about it. You’ve got school to think of… and Cam. I’m here for your mom… and I always will be.’

‘I know’ she answered. ‘But who’s taking care of you?’

WCWCWC

The sound of the phone ringing in the middle of the night had to be the most upsetting sound in the world. It shook you from a deep sleep as your body went from totally relaxed to being on high alert in seconds flat. 

‘Hello’ Neal mumbled as he sat up to check the time.

‘What? Of course. I’ll be right there’ he said, one leg already climbing out of bed.

It appeared that Sara’s first attempt at standing up alone to her demons had failed miserably.

TBC 


	17. Chapter 17

Neal ran all the way from the parking lot of Lincoln Hospital to the fifth floor of the main building. He’d been given a minimum of information – all he knew was that Sara had taken a turn for the worse and that he needed to get back to the hospital as soon as possible. He chastised himself for not having listened to his intuition in the first place. At any other time, Sara would have been perfectly fine on her own; she was self sufficient and capable in all areas of her life (except maybe in the kitchen) and if she said she was all right, Neal knew better than to ever contradict her. 

But this was not ‘any other time’ and Sara had been shaken to the core. Her self-confidence had been stolen by two thugs who had walked away and left her to die and her judgement was badly impaired as a consequence of their careless actions. 

Neal was flying by the nurse’s station when he heard his name being called.

‘Mr. Caffrey?’ came the female voice.

He stopped dead in his tracks as he recognized Stephanie, the nurse who had been assigned to Sara for the past three nights.

‘I got here as fast as I could‘ he said, out of breath. ‘How is she?’

Stephanie took him by the arm and walked him over to the small sitting area nearby.

‘She’s sleeping’ she explained as she took a seat and encouraged Neal to do the same. ‘We had to sedate her.’

‘Sedate her? Why? Hasn’t she had enough of that poison in her system?’

‘Normally, I’d agree but your wife had a full blown panic attack’ the woman explained.

‘A panic attack?’ he repeated. It was a term he’d heard many times over the years but he wasn’t quite sure exactly what it entailed – medically speaking. 

‘After you left, Sara seemed to settle for a while and she finally went to sleep – but about an hour ago, she woke up screaming and she couldn’t catch her breath.’

Neal listened, his pulse quickening.

‘She began to hyperventilate and her heart rate was off the charts. She kept asking for you but… we just couldn’t get her to settle down. She began to lash out at us and in the end, we had no choice but to give her something to calm her down.’

‘No!’ Neal said as he shook his head in dismay. ‘I should never have left her alone.’

‘You can’t blame yourself. Families can’t be here 24/7. We understand that.’ the nurse said, touching Neal’s arm.

‘Still…I should have listened to my gut.’

The woman looked across at Neal, the devoted husband they’d all seen by Sara’s side since the moment she’d been brought in. She could sense the guilt radiating off of him – a common occurrence with the men who loved women who’d been attacked. Unfortunately, she’d seen the fallout of sexual assaults on way too many occasions and she’d been a witness to more than one life ruined by the brutal and selfish actions of sick, twisted men who used sex as a weapon to gain control over the weaker sex. 

It was obvious that this caring husband was feeling ill equipped to support his wife through such a horrific trauma and she could see he felt somehow responsible for what had happened to her.

‘You know, panic attacks aren’t all that unusual after sexual assaults’ Stephanie explained. ‘Even strong, competent women – _especially_ , strong, competent women find it hard to cope with the loss of control they felt during the attack. They realize that they don’t have the control they’d always thought they had over their environment and it often brings out feelings of fear and incompetence and it calls into question their core belief that they can cope with anything they have to face in their life.’

Neal listened intently, thinking of Sara’s strength of character and self-confidence; she never backed away from difficult situations and she saw challenges as opportunities to assert her independence and overcome her insecurities, regardless of the risks involved. The kidnapping and subsequent assault had robbed her of that confidence and she was probably terrified that she no longer had what it took to cope with life’s twists and turns. 

‘What do I do? How do help her get through this?’ he asked, swallowing the lump in his throat.The truth was, he was willing to do just about anything to get his wife back.

‘You’re doing it right now’ Stephanie said. ‘Just support her and make sure she feels safe. Sara has temporarily lost faith in herself; you’re her anchor and she needs to know that you’ll be there for her, no matter what.’

Stephanie Wilton looked at the broken man sitting across from her – a man who didn’t know how to go about helping the woman he loved navigate the rough waters ahead.

‘How long have you two been married?’ she asked.

‘It’ll be twenty years next summer’ Neal responded with a smile; even he couldn’t believe how fast the years had passed.

‘I can see you love your wife very much… More than anything, Sara just needs to know that nothing’s changed between the two of you – that you’re there for her, like you’ve always been.But she’s going to be sorely tested, she’ll need to redefine how she sees herself in relation to the world and that’s going to take some time… and some counselling.’

Neal’s face dropped. He knew his wife all too well and he knew that she would resist going to therapy. In that way, she was very old school; asking for help went against her view of the world and her fierce independent spirit. She’d been forced since an early age to face things head on and she’d always relied on her wits and courage to see her through. Going to counselling would be perceived as a weakness and an inability to cope with things by herself. 

Stephanie watched Neal’s inner struggle mirrored in his eyes.

‘You know, the main myth about sexual assault is that it’s about sex – which is the furthest thing from the truth. People who rape and abuse women use sex as a means to exert power over them. Sara’s going to have to work through this before she can return to a healthy view of sex – even if you had a terrific sex life in the past. She’s going to need to re-learn how to have a healthy, happy sex life and that means you’ll have to be very patient and understanding while she works things out.’

Neal nodded as he thought about what lay ahead.

‘Can I go sit with her?’ he asked, suddenly feeling an overwhelming need to hold his wife’s hand.

‘Of course you can and depending on how she is when she wakes up, the doctor might still release her in the morning’ Stephanie said as Neal stood. 

‘But I can’t emphasize enough how important therapy will be – for both of you.’

‘For both of us?’ Neal asked with a frown.

‘What Sara’s gone through is going to affect your relationship for the rest of your married life.What’s happened to her has also happened to _you_ and you need to work through the anger and frustration you’re feeling as well.’

Neal thanked the kind nurse; she’d given him a lot to think about. She was right. Up to this point his focus had been exclusively on Sara, on getting her physically and emotionally healed after the brutal attack. But he, himself, had been drowning in a sea of emotions since he’d found out about the assault – feelings of anger and disgust towards the men who’d done this to her, worry that Sara would no longer be the woman he’d fallen in love with, guilt at the realization that he hadn’t been able to keep it from happening and concern that their life together would never be same again.

WCWCWC

The room was quiet when Neal stepped in; there was no sign of the chaos Stephanie had described. Sara lay on her back, face calm, hands lying limply by her side over the crisp white sheets. He noticed they had removed the bandages from her wrists and he let his hand linger gently on the bruises which had begun to form there. He took the chair from the corner of the room and dragged it over by the bed, settling in by Sara’s limp hand and taking it into his own as she continued to sleep peacefully.

He raised her hand to his lips, kissing her knuckles as his eyes remained glued to her face.

‘Repo…’ he whispered lovingly. ‘I am _so_ sorry this had to happen to you. You are the strongest, most incredible woman I’ve ever met and I don’t _want_ you to change…’

He could feel his throat tightening as he spoke. ‘But that’s selfish, isn’t it? When I couldn’t use my legs last year, you stood by me and helped me get back on my feet again even when I didn’t believe in myself… and I’m going to do the same thing for you.’

The sound of the monitor droned on, the only sound in the night. ’You and me… the odds were against us but we proved everybody wrong, didn’t we, babe?I know it sounds cliché but…I… I really _am_ a better man because of you… and I promise not to let you down.’

He let out a choked laugh as he ran his hand lovingly up her arm. ‘I’m probably going to have to drag you to therapy kicking and screaming but I promise to do it anyway.’

He glanced down at his wife’s serene face, emotions getting the better of him. ‘We’re not letting those monsters win, Sara, do you hear me… I won’t let them take away what we have.’

Neal let his head drop on the bed by her hand and clung to the warmth of her body. 

WCWCWC

The first thing Sara saw when she opened her eyes was the sun streaming through the window of her hospital room followed by a subtle movement on the nearby chair where Neal had fallen asleep, his mouth hanging open as he softly snored. 

Her head ached and she tried to recall what had happened to make her feel so groggy. Hadn’t she sent Neal home last night? What was he doing back here so early in the morning?

Slowly but surely, the fog lifted and she began to recall what had happened. Waking up in a panic, seeing her attacker hovering over her with a sick, twisted smile as she screamed, unable to move. She couldn’t breathe – her chest felt as if a Mac truck had settled on it and she could feel her heart thumping wildly in her chest as if it were about to burst. She had a vague recollection of a couple of the nurses running in, trying to get her to calm down, then… nothing. 

Neal stirred and opened his eyes, aware of Sara’s eyes on him. 

‘Hey’ he said as he stood and moved to sit on the edge of the bed. ‘How are you feeling?’

‘Groggy’ she answered. ‘What are you doing here? I thought I sent you home.’

‘They called and told me you’d had a nightmare’ he answered as he took a seat beside her on the bed and reached for her hand.

‘They shouldn’t have bothered you. I’m fine’ she said, as the old independent Sara came peeking through.

Neal raised his eyebrows in response; he was having none of it.

‘So, do I get to come home today?’ she asked, not so subtly changing the subject.

‘We just need to wait for Dr. Simons to come by.’

The bruises on her face were still as bright and painful looking as ever and yet she smiled up at him. It was obvious she was looking forward to finally going home.

Within an hour, the doctor had come by and agreed to release her as long as she followed up with her family doctor and took a few more days to physically recuperate from her injuries.Therapy was discussed once again and Neal noticed the dismissive look Sara gave Dr. Simons as he reiterated the importance of following through.

_That’s fine_ , Neal reflected as he watched his wife playing the role of the formerly headstrong Sara Ellis – _you have no idea how stubborn I can be._

TBC


	18. Chapter 18

‘Do these look ready to you?’ Caitlin asked as she peered into the oven.

‘How would I know?’ Liam replied as he took a cursory look. ‘Dad’s the baker in the family.’

‘And me!’ added Hope as she sauntered into the kitchen.

‘Mmmm’ she murmured as she took a whiff of the cookies on the baking tray. ‘Two more minutes’ she announced with an air of assurance.

‘Are those snickerdoodles?’ Liam asked, suddenly interested. He’d inherited his mom’s fondness for the yummy cookies.

‘Of course they are, you idiot. They’re your mom’s favourites’ replied Caitlin.

‘Caitlin, why do you always have to add _you idiot_ at the end of every sentence’ Hope asked as she settled at the kitchen table with her tablet in her hand.

‘Because… I don’t know… what else am I _supposed_ to call Liam?’ the feisty teen asked.

‘Hummm. How about ‘Liam’?’ the young man responded with an eye roll.

‘Listen guys, when Mom gets home, we have to give her some space. And keep the music down, she’ll probably need a lot of rest’ Hope warned.

‘Do you think we should put up some balloons or something?’ Caitlin asked, eager to make her foster mother’s homecoming a memorable one.

‘This isn’t a baby shower, Caitlin. Mom’s just going to be glad to finally be home’ Hope countered.

‘Besides, I don’t think they have ‘ _Congratulations on being kidnapped and surviving the ordeal’_ balloons at the Dollar Store’ Liam added, his twisted sense of humour intact.

‘Dad called about ten minutes ago. They should be home soon. Maybe we can at least make a few sandwiches…’ Hope said as she moved to check out the situation in the fridge. 

A little light seemed to go on in her eyes and she turned to face the two younger teens. ‘By the way, what are you two doing here anyway, shouldn’t you both be at school?’

Caitlin and Liam exchanged conspiratorial looks as big sister frowned. ‘What? What did you do this time?’

Liam shrugged; it had all been Caitlin’s doing.

‘Speak up, squirt!’ Hope insisted.

Caitlin was the one to speak up. For all her mischievous deeds, she never had a problem taking credit when she thought she’d acted on one of her great ideas. 

‘We wanted to be home for your mom’s homecoming so I just called the school and let them know Liam Caffrey and Caitlin Somersby were excused from school for the day’ said the young girl.

‘ _You_ called…?’ Hope asked, digging for the whole story.

‘I might have mentioned my name was Sara Ellis…’ Caitlin finally confessed.

Hope rolled her eyes. ‘Dad’s going to kill you for that!’ she declared as Caitlin’s eyes moved to the floor in mock shame.

‘I did it for Sara…’ she began as the Caffrey siblings stared her down. 

Since moving in, she’d been getting herself into trouble on a regular basis. So far, she’d managed to skip school, get caught smoking a joint behind the gym, stay out past curfew on multiple occasions and the previous week, she’d _borrowed_ stuff from Sara’s jewelry box without asking permission – a definite no-no.

The arguing was interrupted by the front door opening as all three kids ran out to see who was there.

‘Mom!’ Liam and Hope said in unison as they crowded around Sara with Caitlin jockeying for position.

‘Hi!’ said Sara brightly. ‘That’s quite the welcome!’

‘Here, let me take your jacket’ Caitlin said as she pushed her way past Hope and Liam. 

Truth was, as time passed, the young woman was growing very fond of Sara. She’d always thought the world of Neal; he’d been the one to support her at art school, giving her a chance when everyone else had given up on her. When she’d first moved in with the Caffreys, she’d thought her foster mom might be a tough nut to crack but quite the opposite had been true.Sara had been the one to rise to her defence whenever Neal lost his temper at her many breaches of the rules – which seemed to be happening more and more.

‘Thanks sweetie’ Sara said as she followed everyone to the back of the house, with Neal hovering close behind.

‘The place looks good – glad you didn’t burn it down while we were away’ he said, trying to keep the mood light.

‘It smells heavenly in here’ Sara remarked.‘Are those…?’

‘Snickerdoodles!’ Caitlin exclaimed.‘I remembered they were your favourites.’

Sara smiled and Neal seemed to be the only one to notice that her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes.

‘Why don’t you give Mom some room, huh?’ he said as he guided Sara over to the couch in the family room.

‘We were just about to make some sandwiches, right guys?’ Hope said as they all headed to the kitchen to get a start on lunch.

Sara seemed to relax around her family as she curled up on the couch and kicked off her shoes.It was the first time she’d been home since the break-in and Neal watched with interest as she glanced around the room, seemingly drawing strength and comfort from the familiar surroundings.

By mid-afternoon, she lay on the couch napping, snuggled under the throw they kept there for just that purpose, while Neal got busy with the dinner preparations. It hadn’t taken long for him to figure out Caitlin’s little con and he’d shooed her and Liam back to school for the afternoon while Hope went to work in the studio down in the basement. 

Sara’s sleep seemed more relaxed than it had been at the hospital and Neal hoped she might be turning a corner now that she was safely back home. Dr. Simons had given her a prescription for sleep medication, in case she was unable to settle by herself, but Sara had fallen asleep, lulled by the low hum of the television and the reassuring sounds of Neal working in the kitchen. 

Peter and Elizabeth were coming over for dinner, something Neal knew would be comforting for Sara as she struggled to regain some normalcy in her life. He hadn’t been to the gallery – or the school for that matter – all week and he was looking forward to hearing all about the comings and goings. The kids all had plans of their own and Neal began to set the table in the kitchen for the two couples, keeping things casual in case Sara wanted to rest on the nearby couch.

By five o’clock, Sara began to stir as she came out of a deep sleep.

‘Hey, sleepy head. I thought I was going to have to wake you’ Neal called out from where he stood, in front of the stove.

‘It smells amazing’ Sara answered, her voice sleepy. ‘What time is it?’

‘Just after five’ Neal said as he stepped in closer to get a better look at his wife’s face. ‘How did you sleep?’

Sara gave him a relieved smile; it was the first time in days her sleep hadn’t been interrupted by those persistent nightmares. ‘Good.’

‘Did you want to have a shower before Peter and El get here?’ Neal asked.

Sara thought about heading upstairs. She hadn’t been up in their bedroom since the night she’d been snatched by the two thugs and she wondered if she was ready to go up there alone.Whether he picked up on her ambivalence or not, Sara was relieved when Neal spoke up.

‘I need to change anyway. Come on, we’ll go up together’ he said as he put out his hand for her.

The hot water felt amazing on her sore, aching body and Sara took her time as she enjoyed her first real shower in a few days. She stepped out of the bathroom, feeling refreshed and she was relieved to find that Neal was still futzing around their bedroom – no coincidence, she thought. 

She glanced down at their bed, the bed that held hundreds, if not thousands of happy memories over the years and yet, her only recollection in that moment was struggling on the mattress while the two intruders fought to hold her down. Their bedroom had always been their sacred place, the place where she and Neal made secret plans for their future, where they lay in each other’s arms while they murmured about what was going on in their lives, where their bodies found warmth and comfort in each other and melted together in soft moans and loving whispers.

Neal couldn’t help but notice the look of hesitation in her eyes; a look he hoped would disappear in time. 

‘Come here’ Neal said, reaching out for her, his voice soft and reassuring. ‘It’s okay. This is _our_ bedroom, _our_ sanctuary… we’ll get it back.’

Sara took a shaky breath and stepped into his arms as he held her close, momentarily keeping her safe from the rest of the world.

WCWCWC

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ Neal said, louder than he’d realized.

‘You two had quite enough on your plate, don’t you think?’ Peter countered as Elizabeth and Sara exchanged looks across the kitchen table from each other.

‘But it’s _so_ soon’ Neal responded.

‘I know’ Peter said. ‘It was a surprise for me too, but I was lucky. Dr. Samuels had an opening.Look, it’ll all be over in a couple of days and then all of us can get back to living our lives. And don’t worry about the gallery, I’ve got everything lined up and maybe, by the end of next week, I can do a little bit of work from home.’

Neal and Elizabeth exchanged glances; there was no way _that_ was happening, no matter what Peter said.

‘The gallery’s the last thing on my mind’ Neal said. ‘We’ve got Cam and plenty of part-timers who can help out… and I can leave the running of the school to Cindy for a couple of weeks.’

‘Neal, it’s all good, I’m telling you. You have _stuff_ to take care of here’ Peter said cryptically. 

Neal looked down at his half-eaten plate; not only was he struggling with what had happened to Sara, now his best friend was going under the knife and hadn’t bothered to tell him. He tried to shake off his annoyance at the fact that, once again, Peter had tried to shelter him from events. 

‘What can we do to help?’ Sara asked, seeing the look of worry in her husband’s eyes.

‘Nothing’ El said, trying to sound strong. ‘Peter will be in and out of the hospital before you know it.’

Sara reached out for her best friend’s hand and watched as Elizabeth smiled in response.Whatever the situation, they always had each other’s backs.

WCWCWC

Neal lay in bed, anxiously waiting for his wife to join him. He’d been sharing a bed with Sara Ellis for well over twenty years and on most nights, their bodies just naturally fell together on his side of the bed as they caught up on the day’s events, Sara’s arms wound tightly around his waist and her head on his chest while Neal ran a loving hand up and down her back. 

Most of the time, they would fall asleep as they chatted with Sara usually the first to give in and turn over while Neal followed suit, spooning her as she drifted off. Other nights, Neal’s teeth would nibble playfully at her ear and his lips would linger down to her neck, telegraphing his amorous intentions or Sara would let her hand wander down Neal’s chest on an obvious quest for some Caffrey loving. 

The bedtime ritual was just that, a ritual. They knew each other’s bodies so well, read each other’s moods so perfectly, there was barely any need for words as their bodies came together in all those wonderful ways they’d grown accustomed to over the years.

But this… this was a whole new ballgame and Neal glanced nervously at Sara’s side of the bed, wondering what to expect. As much as he longed to hold his wife in his arms, to reassure her that everything would be all right, he wasn’t quite able to shake the nurse’s words from the night before and he wondered if his loving touches and warm caresses would be welcome. 

Sara would need time to reframe things after having suffered unsolicited advances and endured unwanted touches. He would just have to take his cue from her and make sure he was attentive to her wants and needs. Their usual flirtation and good natured banter wouldn’t cut it; Sara was feeling skittish and despite the fact that she’d kept a stiff upper lip all throughout dinner, Neal knew better than to think their troubles were behind them.

He heard the door to the bathroom open and suddenly Sara stood in the doorway to their bedroom, in her usual t-shirt and yoga pants, looking terribly small and vulnerable. She slipped into bed next to him, glancing nervously around the room as she settled in.

‘You okay?’ Neal asked instinctively.

‘Yeah’ she said as she sat up looking at him.

‘Nice to be back in your own bed, huh?’ Neal said as she nodded and smiled.

Neal opened his arms tentatively, inviting her to curl up against him and she gave another nervous smile as she lay her head down momentarily, her arms uncharacteristically curled up tightly against her chest.

‘That’s quite the news about Peter, huh?’ Neal said, his hand lingering down her back.

‘I guess we knew it was coming’ Sara responded absentmindedly as she began to fidget.

‘I want to go to the hospital tomorrow and sit with Elizabeth while he’s in surgery’ Neal added as his hand automatically reached around to gently touch Sara’s back.

‘That’s a good idea, honey’ Sara said, sitting up and making a move to turn over onto her side, bringing their usual pre-bedtime chat to a premature end.

Neal watched as she turned over onto her left side, facing the armchair by the bed and the open door to their room. He could see her eyes staring out into the darkened hallway through the open door and he reached over to turn off the bedside lamp, wondering if he should snuggle up behind her or leave her be.

‘Don’t!’ Sara said, unnerved, as darkness filled the room. It took a moment for Neal to realize she was referring to the sudden obscurity. ‘Leave it on… please’ she added.

‘Okay’ Neal said, reaching over to turn the light back on. He hesitated for a moment, then turned over onto his left side, up on his elbow as he leaned in to speak softly into her ear. 

‘Do you want me to… leave you alone?’ he asked.

‘No.Can you hold me?’ she asked as he slipped his arms around her waist without hesitation and buried his nose in her soft hair.

‘I love you’ he whispered.

‘I know…’ she said. ‘I love you too.’

TBC


	19. Chapter 19

To the casual observer, life in the Caffrey home _appeared_ to be getting back to normal over the next several days. Neal spent time at his best friend’s bedside as he recuperated from his surgery and Sara began to carry on, much as before, catching up on e-mails from work and preparing to return to the office after a tumultuous week away.

Hope prepared to go back to Pittsburgh and, on Sunday, Neal went along with Cameron to see her off on her short flight back. Hope and Neal had been complicit in keeping close tabs on Sara since her return home and had been sharing intel as they noticed all those little things that weren’t _quite_ right.

Cameron hovered nearby, waiting for his chance to say a proper goodbye to his girlfriend.

‘Daddy, keep an eye on Mom’ Hope said as she hugged her dad. 

‘I will, honey’ Neal answered, trying his best to sound reassuring. 

‘Any luck yet on the counselling front?’ she asked as Neal shook his head.

‘Don’t worry, I’m on it’ he responded. ‘So, you’ve got your sculpture all packed up?’

Hope held up the box in which she’d carefully packed her assignment and nodded. 

‘Good luck with your exams, baby’ Neal added as he kissed her cheek and stepped back to give Cameron some time alone with her. ‘I’ll see you in a couple of weeks…oh, and I might have a nice surprise for you…’ he added mysteriously.

‘Pumpkin pies?’ she asked, hopeful.

‘Even _better_ than pumpkin pies’ Neal said as he waved her off. ‘I’ll wait for you in the car’ he said to Cam as he stepped away.

The young lovers stared awkwardly at each other, preparing to say their final goodbyes after a whirlwind week of reconnecting. 

‘It’s just a couple of weeks this time…’ Hope said as she laced her arms around Cam’s waist and rested her head on his chest.

‘I know… but I just got you back and I don’t want to let you go’ he whispered as he hugged her tightly.

‘I’ll call you when I get there’ Hope cooed in his ear as he smiled.

His lips caught hers in a long, lingering kiss that seemed to attract the attention of passersby although neither Hope nor Cameron seemed to mind the unwanted attention.

‘I love you’ he called out as she pulled away, blowing him a kiss as she headed for the security gate. 

WCWCWC

Peter’s surgery had gone off without a hitch although his recovery was slow and painful and by the middle of the following week, he was still in hospital, grumbling at the fact that he couldn’t return to his previous life. He’d been saddled with a catheter for the first couple of weeks following his operation and he hated the indignity of it all, longing for his independence as Elizabeth fussed around him in her inimitable way.

El and Neal had joined forces and had tried a number of things to try to keep him busy – from a steady flow of Michael Connelly and Agatha Christie novels to increasingly challenging crossword puzzles and old black and white movies. Mozzie had even braved his irrational fear of hospitals and had visited with a chess board but his constant attempts at circumventing the rules had done nothing but drive Peter around the bend.

On Tuesday morning, contrary to Neal’s better judgement, Sara returned to work at Sterling Bosch, her bruises having faded sufficiently to be covered up by an expertly applied coat of liquid make up. She was still sleeping with the lights on and on one occasion, she’d let out a shriek when Neal had curled up against her in the middle of the night, causing the whole household to congregate in their room to see what all the fuss was about. 

Neal had begun to notice that Sara _never_ stayed in the house alone, finding excuses to invite someone over if everyone was out or tagging along with him if he needed to go out. He was working in his studio on Tuesday evening when her heard his name being called from upstairs, Sara’s voice panicked.

He ran up the stairs two at a time to find Sara standing in the kitchen looking terrified, a look he was growing accustomed to seeing on his wife’s face – regrettably. 

‘Honey, what is it?’ he asked breathlessly as he watched her face relax at the sight of him.

‘I didn’t know where you were…’ she answered sheepishly, realizing how over the top her reaction had been.

‘I’m right here’ Neal said soothingly as he stepped in closer and rubbed her arms. ‘I told you when I came downstairs that I was going down to work in the studio…’

‘I didn’t… hear you’ Sara stuttered as she quickly regained her calm demeanour and tried to make light of her reaction. 

She’d been living in absolute terror since the kidnapping and despite her efforts to hide the lingering effects of her ordeal from him, she had not managed to fool the one man who knew her best of all. Neal had been patient while she’d gotten settled back home, not wanting to push too hard but he could see the time had come to broach the subject of counselling again and, seeing her standing there shaking, he decided the time had come to take the plunge, all the while anticipating his wife’s usual resistance.

‘Honey, come here’ Neal said as he pointed her in the direction of the family room. ‘We need to talk.’

‘I was just going to… put a load of laundry on’ Sara said, pointing to the nearby basket of dirty clothes, a weak effort to avoid the topic she feared.

‘The laundry can wait…’ Neal insisted as he practically dragged her over to the couch and pulled her down to sit next to him.

‘Honey, we can’t go on like this. It’s time you talk to someone – ’

‘No Neal!’ she answered spontaneously, not even bothering to let him finish.‘I told you, I’m fine…’

‘You are _not_ fine, Sara. You sleep with the lights on, you cringe every time I touch you, you panic when you’re left alone for more than a couple of minutes and…’

‘But I went back to work today and… it was good. Neal, I just… I just need a little more time, that’s all’ she said, realizing her arguments sounded shallow.

‘Sara, time alone isn’t going to fix this. You need to talk to someone… so you can start to heal’ he said as she stared back, eyes wide.

‘The truth is…’ Neal continued, tentatively. ‘ _I_ need help too. I don’t know _what_ to do to make this better. All I know is that it’s killing me to watch you suffer like this…I never know what to say or what to do and… it never seems like the right thing.’

Sara watched Neal’s anguished face. She hated seeing him like this. He was a gentle, loving soul and she knew just how munch he hated to see those he loved suffering in any way. Despite that realization, she just didn’t feel ready to open up, not to a stranger. She was already dealing with flashes and images of the horrible things that creep had done to her – she certainly wasn’t ready to have to relive it all by sharing the details with someone she didn’t even know. 

She brought her hand to touch Neal’s cheek, watching as his eyes met hers. ‘Honey, just give me a little more time. Please! I promise, if I’m not feeling better in another week, I’ll go… I’ll go see someone’ she said, her voice pleading.

Neal let his eyes drop and shook his head. ‘Sara, I love you. I can’t spend the rest of my life watching you pull away from me every time I touch you – I’m not the enemy here…’

Sara took his hand in hers. ‘I know you’re not… I’m really trying, Neal’ she blurted out as her eyes filled with tears. ‘I want to go back to the way things were… you have no idea just how much. I _want_ to feel your arms around me, I _want_ you to make love to me but… I can’t stop thinking of the way his hands felt on me… that look in his eyes… the sound of his voice… those things he said. I keep hearing them in my head…’

Sara hadn’t said much about what had happened except for what Neal had heard her tell the police – he could see she was struggling with the memories of those horrible hours, tied up and unable to fight back. He reached out for her, pulling her in to him, guilt overwhelming him as he realized he’d been incapable of keeping these horrible things from happening to her.

‘We need help’ he murmured, as emotions overtook him. ‘Please Sara, please say yes. I’ve made an appointment for the two of us on Thursday and I… I really want you to be there.’

Sara pulled away and just stared back blankly. ‘You shouldn’t have done that’ she said, a flash of anger in her eyes.

She stood and walked over to where the laundry basket sat, abandoned.

‘I’m _going_ with or without you’ Neal said as he watched her turn and walk away.

WCWCWC

‘So how’s Sara doing?’ Peter asked as he winced in pain.

‘Good!’ Neal lied, avoiding Peter’s glare as he moved his rook on the chess board. ‘She’s been back to work for a couple of days already.’

‘You _do_ know it’s my prostate they removed and not my temporal lobe, right?’ Peter responded as he searched Neal’s eyes.

Neal scoffed. ‘I’m surprised you even know what the temporal lobe is’ he said in attempt to deflect from Peter’s original question.

‘Oh, I know all about it… so, how’s Sara’s doing?’ Peter repeated, undeterred.

Neal sat back and let his eyes meet Peters – truth was, he could use a little heart to heart.

‘Not great’ he finally admitted.

‘Now, was that so hard?’ Peter asked as he squirmed on the bed.

Neal rolled his eyes. ‘She’s got classic symptoms of PTSD but she’s in total denial. She sleeps with the lights on and she thinks I haven’t noticed but she hasn’t been alone in the house since the night of the kidnapping. Whenever I got out, she comes up with some excuse to invite someone over or to pop in one of the neighbours… she’s terrified of being alone.’

Peter listened patiently. He’d always been a no-nonsense kind of guy but he’d learned from his long years at the FBI, that some traumatic events couldn’t be left to fester and he recalled how, a few years earlier, he’d insisted Jones get some help after he’d shot and killed a perp during a take down. Guilt and anguish had a way of eating you raw if you didn’t deal with it. 

‘But the worse part is… I don’t know where I stand with her. Some nights, she… she clings to me like… like saran wrap and other times, when I touch her, I can feel her cringing.’

Peter could sense the anxiety in Neal’s voice. 

‘Do you know what it’s like to have the woman you love cringe when you touch her?’ Neal said, sounding defeated. ‘I can’t go on like this.’

Silence filled the hospital room for a few seconds while Peter waited for Neal to get his emotions in check.

‘I’ve made an appointment with a therapist for the two of us tomorrow and I’m going, whether Sara comes or not…’ Neal said.

‘That sounds like a good idea, buddy’ Peter said, sounding every little bit the big brother he’d always been to Neal.

Neal smiled, glad to have Peter as a sounding board. Through thick and thin, they’d stuck together throughout the years and he thanked his lucky stars he had a man like Peter Burke in his corner.

‘You two have been through hell and back and you’ll get through this’ Peter added as he winced once again.‘Now would you get the goddam nurse in here to give me a dose of pain medication!’

WCWCWC

‘Just a minute, I’ll see if I can find her’ Neal said into the phone as Sara stood in front of him in the kitchen, frantically shaking her head.

‘Sorry Mom, I think she’s upstairs’ he lied as he frowned at his wife.

‘Yup, I’m booking the flight today and I’ll let you know what time I’m getting there’ he said.

Neal laughed at something Linda said on the other end and Sara watched his face, looking relaxed and happy for a change.

‘All right, I’ll call you in a couple of days. Love you’ he added before hanging up.

‘So, when are you flying out?’ Sara asked, desperately trying to mask the anxiety in her voice.

‘Probably Tuesday afternoon and we can catch a flight back early Wednesday. I’ve got lots of cooking to do before the big day… and I promised Hope some pumpkin pies’ Neal said as he grabbed some papers off the kitchen table and stuffed them into his book bag.

Sara frowned at the thought of Neal being away for a night; she wasn’t sure how she was going to cope. She decided _now_ wasn’t the time to share her insecurities – any minute now, he was going to remind her of their appointment at the therapist’s that afternoon.

Neal looked up to meet her eyes. ‘The appointment with the therapist is this afternoon… at 2:30’ he said, predictably.

He watched Sara open her mouth to speak and immediately cut her off.‘ _Don’t_ say anything’ he warned. ‘Just… think about it. I’ll be there and I really hope you’ll be there too’ he added as he threw the therapist’s business card on the table for Sara to take with her.

‘Have a good day’ Sara said as she turned to leave.

Neal watched her walk away and glanced down at the kitchen table, noticing the card was still lying there.

TBC


	20. Chapter 20

The small office building was located in New Rochelle, about six blocks away from where Clinton and Ivy Jones lived with their two little boys. Neal drove up and parked in a nearby city lot, glancing up and down the street, hoping against hope he might spot Sara stepping out of a cab nearby.

A guy could hope… but Neal had a sinking feeling that she wouldn’t be showing up. She was headstrong in all things and if she had gotten it into her head she wasn’t coming, she sure as hell wouldn’t be coming. Regardless, Neal knew he was doing the right thing by meeting with the counsellor Dr. Simons had recommended. The woman had explained, during their brief telephone conversation, that she liked to use a three pronged approach in such situations:individual sessions with each of them and some joint sessions where they could do some problem solving together. 

Neal stepped into the lobby and glanced up at the directory, noticing that Marion Birch’s office was located on the second floor, in suite 208 to be precise. He tackled the stairs, arriving slightly short-winded on the second floor landing although he wasn’t sure whether his shortness of breath was due to his jaunty jog up the stairs or if his heart was pumping wildly in his chest at the impending appointment. He checked in with the receptionist and waited patiently as he checked out the three other people in the waiting room. Ms Birch appeared to be part of a consortium of therapists who shared space in suite 208 and within minutes, Neal heard his name called as he was whisked away into one of the back room offices. He gave one last, longing glance towards the entrance to the suite, willing Sara to appear – to no avail.

WCWCWC

Sara glanced at the clock at the bottom of her computer screen: 2:17. Neal would be in with the therapist right about now. Although she’d made a conscious decision not to go, she’d been thinking about the appointment all day. She’d looked like a fool, staring ahead blankly, unable to speak when her boss had asked her to report on the recent recovery of a sapphire bracelet belonging to one of their most elite clients. If it hadn’t been for Lydia Jordan’s quick thinking and in depth knowledge of the case, she might have been hauled into Winston Bosch’s office for a good tongue lashing – and with reason.

Maybe Neal was right, maybe she’d come back to work too soon. Despite efforts to the contrary, she seemed unable to concentrate on any one thing for more than a few seconds, as unwanted images continued popping into her head at the most inopportune moments. 

At lunch, she’d totally zoned out while Lydia filled her in on Beatrice’s latest exploits and she’d felt silly when her colleague had asked her opinion on something while Sara’s mind had been fixated on the face of her attacker as he loomed over her with his dick in his hand. She’d shaken off the unwanted image only to have it reappear, unbidden, on three more occasions during her early afternoon staff meeting.

She kept reminding herself that she could do this – it was all a question of mind over matter. She just needed to start _acting_ normal and she would start to _feel_ normal again – it was that easy.

WCWCWC

The room Neal was ushered into was warm and inviting with several plants in pretty ceramic pots and some inspirational prints (although not those ‘in your face ones’ he’d seen over the years – and found so pretentious). Neal took a seat in a leather armchair which faced a love seat and two other similar chairs in a small circle and took a moment to glance around the room in an attempt to get a sense of who this woman was. The nearby desk held various personal mementos including a framed photograph of a family of four featuring a man with a beard man holding a toddler in his arms and a pleasantly plump woman with her arms around an older child.

Neal wondered again what he was doing there. All he knew was that this situation was way beyond what he could deal with on his own and that the alternative, which was to do nothing and let time pass, just wasn’t an option. 

The door opened and in walked the young woman from the photograph. She was pleasant looking, although not flashy and she carried the few extra pounds she wore around her hips like some sort of trophy – not apologizing for them in any way. Her dark blond curls bobbed slightly as she walked over to Neal, eyes smiling as she extended her hand towards him.

‘You must be Neal, it’s nice to meet you’ she said with a broad smile as she shook his outstretched hand. ‘I’m Marion Birch.’

‘Neal Caffrey’ Neal said. ‘We spoke on the phone.’

‘Are you on your own today?’ she asked as she settled in the armchair across from him and leaned over to pour them each a glass of water and lemon from the pitcher which sat on the small table between them.

Neal smiled sheepishly as she handed him the glass.

‘It’s fine’ she said kindly. ‘The important thing is that _we_ get started. I’m sure your wife will join us when she feels ready.’

Neal raised his eyebrows and let out a nervous giggle. ‘Sara is pretty… determined’ he said, avoiding the words ‘pig headed’ and ‘stubborn’ which were right on the tip of his tongue. ‘I’m not sure _when_ or _if_ she’ll come around.’

‘Well, that’s up to her but she may find that events overwhelm her at some point and realize she can benefit from talking things out. That tipping point varies for each individual.’

Neal nodded. He liked her. She was up front and straight to the point and he appreciated that; no mumbo jumbo or esoteric bullshit.

‘So, tell me Neal, what was that tipping point for you?’

Neal drew a deep breath as he thought of the last ten days and how their lives had been totally turned upside down since the kidnapping.

‘I think it’s been more of a… an accumulation of things.It’s been hard watching Sara have difficulty coping with what happened to her – when she’s usually so strong and independent.’

‘You said your wife had been kidnapped and sexually abused?’ Marion asked.

It sounded even more horrible coming out of a stranger’s mouth – like something out of the latest edition of Mystery Weekly Magazine. 

Neal nodded. ‘She was drugged and she was unconscious part of the time and I think the details are still… becoming clear to her.’

‘Tell me about how this has affected _you_?’ Marion asked as she leaned in a little, encouraging Neal to keep talking.

He scoffed. ‘In every way… I guess. She’s… she’s behaving differently and I’m not certain how to deal with this… _this_ Sara.’

‘Talk to me about Sara before all this happened’ said Marion as she sat back to listen.

Neal smiled despite himself as he thought of the wonderful woman that was his wife and life partner. ‘She’s amazing. She’s strong, independent… warm and loving, an incredible mom… We’ve been married for almost twenty years and… I love her more with each passing day.’

He stopped momentarily as he watched a smile appear on Marion’s face. Her silence urged him to continue.

‘We have two great kids. Our daughter, Hope… she’s nineteen and she attends Carnegie Mellon in Pittsburgh. She’s an artist… a damn good one’ he added with a proud smile. ‘And our son, Liam, he’s fourteen and he’s a wonderful, sensitive guy – an amazing athlete. We’ve got a foster daughter as well. Her name is Caitlin and she moved in about six months ago. She’s got authority issues and she’s generally a pain in the ass’ Neal said as he laughed out loud.‘But she’s got a good heart and Sara and I are trying to keep her from messing up her life.’

Marion smiled as she listened. ‘Sounds like you’ve got a very busy household’ she remarked.‘What do you and Sara do for a living?’

‘We own an art gallery in Manhattan and I recently opened an art school for underprivileged kids in the Bronx after I inherited some money from my… surrogate mom, I guess you’d call her. Sara heads up a team of insurance investigators at Sterling Bosch – they do recovery of stolen property, art mostly.’

Marion nodded as she listened. ‘So, tell me how _you’ve_ been feeling… since all this happened.’

Neal stared ahead blankly. He’d been so wrapped up in trying to help Sara get through the last few horrible days, he hadn’t stopped to think much about his own feelings – except for his feelings of ineptitude at dealing with the situation.

‘Incompetent…’ he began.

‘Incompetent in terms of dealing with the aftermath?’

Neal nodded.

‘All right. Tell me how you feel about what happened to your wife?’

Neal’s face seemed to harden as a myriad of emotions bubbled to the surface and suddenly a bunch of words he hadn’t said out loud came pouring out of his mouth.‘Angry… really angry. Sad… about Sara having to go through this… worried about her… guilty…’

‘Tell me about the guilt. Why do you feel guilty?’ she asked.

‘I should have been able to keep her safe…’ Neal said, his voice quiet. He looked up at the woman across from him, her face neutral. ‘Don’t get me wrong.Sara and I are probably the furthest thing from a ‘traditional’ couple. I mean, Sara is perfectly capable of taking care of herself and dealing with anything life throws at her. I’m the impulsive one in our relationship and… I sometimes count on her more than she counts on me… but… we have each other’s back, you know, we’ve _always_ had each other’s back and this time… well, I feel like I… I let her down.’

‘I read about the kidnapping in the paper’ Marion admitted. ‘It was before you got in touch with me. I understand these men broke into your home and you were attacked before they kidnapped your wife. What do you think you _could_ have done to prevent it?’

Neal had expected that question. He’d asked it of himself several times in the previous few days but it always left him wondering. ‘Maybe I should have stayed in bed instead of going downstairs to investigate or… I should have insisted Sara stay with our friends like I’d asked her to.’

‘Do you think Sara would have stayed with your friends if you’d insisted?’ Marion asked.

Neal laughed sardonically before answering spontaneously. ‘Have you _met_ my wife?’

Marion joined in and laughed out loud at his response.

‘Tell me about the anger. Would you describe yourself as someone who’s quick to anger?’ she asked.

Neal shook his head. ‘No, I don’t get angry very often. It takes a lot to get me going.’

‘But this time?’

‘I want to kill the son of a bitch’ Neal said, surprising himself at how easily the words spilled out, without warning.

He realized his language could be perceived as offensive and he looked up apologetically at the young woman, shrugging meekly.‘Sorry!’

‘Hey, there’s no censoring of anything here. If we’re going to work through this, you’ve got to tell it like it is’ she said with a gentle smile.

For the first time since he’d walked in, Neal felt a lump forming in his throat as he thought of what the thug had done to Sara. 

‘I feel like… like he _broke_ her’ he blurted out, immediately regretting the word he’d used. ‘Not that she’s some sort of an object or anything… it’s just… he took a beautiful, vibrant woman who was full of life, full of love and in a few short hours, he broke her spirit… and I’m terrified that she’s gone for good.’

Marion listened as the cool, collected man who’d first walked into her office began to show some frayed edges. In order to heal, one had to come face to face with one’s own demons and she was encouraged to see that Neal was willing to open up and let himself be vulnerable – it was the first step in recovering from such a traumatic event and in her experience, it was generally more difficult for men to get in touch with their emotions than it was for women. Perhaps Neal Caffrey was the exception to the rule.

‘So, Neal, if I were to ask you what it is you want to get out of this therapy, what would you say?’

‘You mean, besides having you wave a magic wand and make the last couple of weeks disappear?’ he said with a mischievous grin. ‘I guess, I’m hoping to better understand what Sara’s going through and I’m looking for ways I can help her get through the next little while.’

‘Well, I’m pretty sure we can work together to help you with that’ said the young woman.

TBC


	21. Chapter 21

Neal was unusually quiet all through dinner as he replayed his therapy session with Marion Birch. He wasn’t quite sure where they were headed but at least he’d had the chance to express how he was feeling and that, in and of itself, had been a huge relief. Except for inquiring about how the appointment had gone, Sara hadn’t wanted to pry and Neal hadn’t felt compelled to share in detail what he’d discussed with the therapist. He was still holding out hope that Sara would come around and join him at the next scheduled appointment so that they could begin to work on things together – although, at this point, he had no idea what might need to happen for her to change her mind.

Strangely enough, Sara appeared to be feeling a lot better; maybe going back to work _had_ been the right decision after all, Neal thought. She had a second helping of the quiche he’d prepared and she actually laughed out loud when Caitlin told the story of how everybody’s nightmare math teacher, Mrs. Timmins, had tripped on her way into class and had landed in the front row, face first into Jason Carter’s lap.

Beneath her cheerful exterior, Sara had been secretly fighting off the vividly disturbing images that had consistently plagued her all day. Although brief, the visions were more intense than ever and they would appear unexpectedly at the most inopportune times – while she was on the phone with a client, during a staff meeting, while she spoke with her assistant. But Sara was nothing if not persistent and she’d worked hard all day at staying focussed and remaining in the moment although she’d been fighting a losing battle. She glanced up from her dinner plate to see Neal studying her and she gave him a small smile to let him know she was just fine – a smile Neal saw right through.

WCWCWC

Sara lay on her side and watched as Neal sat up in bed, working away on his laptop as he got ready for the next day’s staff meeting at the June Ellington School of Art. She reflected on how he’d been nothing but loving and understanding since this whole mess had started. She’d begun to notice his hesitation whenever he reached out to touch her, especially in what could be interpreted as a sexual way and with reason – she was more than aware that she’d been giving him mixed messages since the attack. Neal frowned as he stared at the screen, concentrating on what he was typing and Sara suddenly felt a swell of emotion for her husband, the man who’d stood by her through thick and thin for the past twenty years. 

The thought of wrapping her body around his, of having him gently make love to her just as he had thousands of times before, suddenly seemed calming and reassuring. More than anything, she wanted to be swept away from all these nagging images and back into the safe and loving arms of the man she trusted without reservation. Sure, it might feel strange the first time as she fought off her demons but maybe she just needed to plunge in and get over the first awkward moments – this was Neal, after all, the man she loved and who would do anything for her.

‘Are you going to put that thing away anytime soon?’ she murmured as Neal glanced over at her over the top of his glasses.

‘Almost done…’ he murmured as he returned his attention to the screen.

‘I promise to make it worth your while…’ she cooed as she ran her hand languidly up and down his naked chest. 

Neal took his glasses off and stared directly at the playful, sexy Sara who’d been missing in action the last few days.

‘Are you okay?’ he asked, puzzled at her sudden and unexpected overture.

‘I _will_ be if you turn that damn thing off and come to bed’ she said with a flirty smile.

Neal let out a stifled laugh at Sara’s playful tone – it was totally unexpected but it was nice to see her relaxing after everything they’d gone through as of late.

‘Come here’ Neal said as he put the laptop away and opened his arms up to his wife.

‘You look like you’re feeling better’ he added as Sara snuggled up to him, letting her lips linger on his chest.

‘I am’ she lied, keeping up the charade. She pinched his nipple playfully and let out a soft moan.

**_(I can do this, I can do this)_ **

‘Honey…’ Neal said, his voice hesitant, as she moved to kiss his neck, sending shivers down his spine.

‘Caffrey… I’ve missed you’ she moaned in his ear.

**_(Just keep reminding yourself, this is Neal)_ **

Neal was definitely on board but he was surprised at just how forcefully Sara was coming on to him in light of her recent trauma. He was well aware that this was no time to be rushing into things.

‘Babe… I’m not sure this is a good idea…’ he began as she cut him off with a long, luxurious kiss which definitely served to shut him up – and had the added effect of sending a wake-up call directly to his groin.

‘I want you Neal!’ she whispered as he began to respond to her penetrating kiss, his hands moving spontaneously to her cup her hips.

**_(Breathe, Sara, breathe)_ **

The image of her attacker flashed in her mind and her breath quickened at the thought.She pushed it away and opened her eyes, seeing Neal’s loving face smiling down at her.

**_(See, it’s all good)_ **

‘Sara, why don’t we take it easy and just cuddle, huh?’ he suggested, trying his best to ignore the sensation of her hands roaming down to cup his ass in that way that never failed to get him revved up.

‘I don’t _want_ to take it easy’ she said, climbing onto his lap and straddling his hips as she whipped off her t-shirt and sent if flying across the bedroom.

**_(Just keep staring into his eyes and it’ll be all right)_ **

Neal could feel himself responding to the sensation of Sara’s body pressed up against his and he let out a slow, steadying breath at the sight of his wife looming over him, acting… well, like his wife.

‘Are you sure about this?’ Neal murmured, his voice rough as he tentatively reached up to caress her breast and bring it hungrily to his mouth.

The sudden movement caught her by surprise and she froze momentarily as she imagined the kidnapper’s mouth on her. If Neal hadn’t been moaning in delight, eyes closed, he would have noticed the look of alarm on her face but as was the case, he was enjoying the feel of his wife’s familiar body against his and the swell of her breast against his mought. 

**_(It’s all right. It’s Neal! It’s Neal!)_ **

Sara’s breathing quickened and Neal smiled naughtily as he took in her reaction to the feel of his tongue, exploring her nipple. He let out a deep, satisfied groan, now totally caught up in the moment as Sara began to fidget, panic starting to set in.

**_(Don’t be scared. This is Neal!)_ **

Neal’s eyes moved up to look at her face, Sara still managing to disguise the panic in her eyes as longing and desire and she let out a gasp as Neal moved his hands to rest on her hips.

**_(Get your hands off me, you pervert)_ **

In a moment of unrestrained desire, he moved his hands to cup her buttocks and he instinctively brought his right leg up over her hip, flipping her over onto her back as his lips continued to roam, now irrevocably invested in the moment.

‘Baby, I missed you…’ he growled as he moved his mouth to her ear, feeling her quiver – the _good_ kind of quiver. Or so he thought.

Sara’s eyes flew open as she found herself trapped under the weight of Neal’s body, totally at his mercy.

**_(Stop! Stop!)_ **

‘Stop it! Stop it!’ she shouted as she pushed him off her, Neal landing on his back in total shock. ‘I can’t breathe!’

Sara began to shake uncontrollably as she let out a few gasping sobs, looking right through him as Neal began to clue in to what was really going on. Her hands formed into fists and she began to hit him repeatedly as he leaned in to try to get her to calm down.

‘Sara, Sara!’ he said breathlessly as he took in the look of utter terror on her face – terrified of _him_. ‘Honey, please look at me.’

‘Get off, get off!’ she screamed even though Neal was not longer on top of her. Her fists kept slamming into his chest and Neal pulled back, unwilling to physically restrain her in order to protect himself.

‘It’s okay, it’s okay. It’s me. Look!’ he attempted as she began to hyperventilate, her head moving from side to side as Neal watched, feeling totally helpless.

In minutes, she’d gone from flirtatious seductress to more than willing participant to this… a totally hysterical victim of unwanted touches and Neal stared down at her twisted face, unsure how to bring her back from whatever horrible place her mind had taken her.

‘Sara, Sara’ he repeated as she finally stopped looking through him and saw him – saw her husband staring down with a look of total bewilderment. Tears began to run down her face and she reached out, her arms reaching around his neck as he sought solace from him.

‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry’ she repeated as her body shook uncontrollably.

WCWCWC

‘Honey, I’ll only be an hour!’ Elizabeth said as Neal settled across from Peter at the dining room table of the Burke house.

Peter gave her a small, placating smile. 

‘Don’t worry El, I’ll keep an eye on him’ Neal reassured her as she finally headed out the door.

Peter raised his eyebrows as the door finally closed. ‘Thank God! Will you hand me a beer?’ he asked as Neal stood and walked over to the fridge.

‘Too much togetherness?’ Neal asked as he grabbed a couple of bottles and returned to the table.

‘She hovers… all the time’ Peter complained. ‘It’ll be a miracle if I ever get back on my feet.’

‘Awww, come on Peter. El’s just making sure you don’t over do it; she’s crazy about you’ Neal said as he took a sip.

‘Well, I wish she were a little _less_ crazy about me and gave me a bit of space’ Peter responded as Neal grinned.

The men glanced down at the piece of paper Peter had managed to secure from his FBI contacts at the bureau – the proof of what they already knew all too well.

Neal’s face darkened as his eyes skimmed over the report one more time. ‘So, it’s official then’ he said sombrely.

‘Positive ID on DNA and the traces of semen found on Sara’s body and clothes’ Peter said.

Neal was on his feet again, pacing as the information seeped in.

‘Neal, we already knew one of them would match’ Peter said.

‘This just… it makes it all the more real’ Neal responded, shaking his head. ‘And to think I had him right in front of me…’

Peter watched as his best friend struggled once again with the insanity of what had transpired and his total inability to make it all better.

‘Do you think Sara will press charges?’ he finally asked.

Neal shook his head. ‘I don’t know… maybe eventually. She’s got a lot on her plate just coping right now.’

‘Are you going to tell her? About the report?’

‘Do I have a choice? Not that this is going to come as a surprise’ Neal replied.

‘By the way, how did Sara’s appointment go yesterday?’ Peter asked as he took a long pull on his beer.

‘She never showed’ Neal said quietly. ‘I met with the therapist alone.’

‘And?’

‘I need to get Sara in there. She’s having these horrible flashbacks but she’s trying to fake it. Last night, she even had me convinced – ‘

Neal was interrupted by the phone vibrating in his pocket – a call from Sterling Bosch although not from Sara’s phone.

‘Hello?’ he answered, eyes narrowing.

‘Lydia… slow down. What? Is she okay?’ he said as Peter watched his best friend’s face, deep worry lines forming on his forehead as he got to his feet.

‘I’ll be right there!’

TBC


	22. Chapter 22

Friday morning at Sterling Bosch was a total blur as Sara worked through the numerous incoming e-mails and tended to the never ending requests from her bosses and underlings. She might have been forgiven for taking a day off after the night she’d had but Neal had woken to find her sitting at her make up table applying lipstick as she prepared to go out and face the big, bad world. 

After her latest panic attack, it had taken a while for the two of them to settle down and finally get to sleep. Neal felt terrible for his part in what had happened. No matter what Sara said or did, he should have known better than to let himself be drawn in by her brave performance – she was just being Sara, trying to fight her demons the only way she knew how. 

But he knew better. Sara had an awful lot of healing to do before they could resume their sex life and he’d been naïve to think they could fall into their old familiar patterns without any negative fallout. He’d thought better than to nag her again about starting therapy although with each new incident, he could feel Sara inching her way towards what Marion Birch had called the inevitable ‘tipping point’. 

Sara was physically and emotionally drained and Neal had enlisted Lydia’s help in keeping a surreptitious eye on her boss while she was at work. Short of camping out by his wife’s desk, Neal could do little to ensure she was all right while she was at work and he’d learned long ago who his allies were. 

And so, at lunchtime, as she’d done every day since Sara had returned to work, Lydia showed up in Sara’s office carrying a bag of food from one of her friend’s favourite take-out joints and setting it down on the small table by Sara’s desk.

‘Lunch is served’ she declared as Sara looked up from her computer, bleary-eyed.

‘I don’t have time today…’ Sara began meekly as Lydia moved to stand directly in her boss’s field of vision. She wasn’t about to take no for an answer.

‘It’s Thai, your favourite – even _you_ need to eat, Sara’ Lydia said, taking her boss by the arm and guiding her away from her desk. ‘Those e-mails aren’t going anywhere.’

Sara let out an irritated sigh but relented. She had to admit, the food smelled heavenly and she hadn’t had anything to eat since the night before. The women sat across from each other at the small conference table in Sara’s office as Lydia dished out some pad woonsen and a summer roll.

‘So, don’t forget, we have that new client coming in at 1:30’ Lydia reminded her friend. ‘If you want, I can meet with him alone – give you more time to catch up on things.’

Sara took a bite of shrimp and smiled up at her friend and colleague. ‘That’s okay. Mr. Bosch insisted I be in on the meeting. This dinner party Mr. Trong is hosting is a big deal.’

‘So, he’s hosting a dinner party at the Japanese Embassy?’ Lydia asked, between bites.

‘Yeah, they’ve got big wigs coming from all over and he’s serving dinner on this gold plated service that’s worth an obscene amount of Japanese yen. I think this might be a first… insuring dinnerware’ Sara said with a head shake.

‘Well, there _was_ that time that big shot from Dubai came to New York and had us provide security on his silverware’ Lydia reminded Sara.

‘I completely forgot about that… what was his name again?’

‘Mr. El Faroud’ Lydia answered with a soft laugh. The man had been obscenely rich and arrogant to boot.

‘Ah yes, the guy with the gold plated car’ Sara said as she rolled her eyes at the excessive wealth.

‘You’re looking really tired today. Are you getting enough sleep?’ Lydia asked innocently despite having gotten the low down from Neal when she’d first stepped into her office that morning.

Sara looked up into her friend’s eyes. There was no point in lying; Lydia Jordan was an amazing investigator and within Sara’s team, she’d earned the nickname ‘Digger’ for her persistence and determination. Of course, the fact that Neal called her every morning to fill her in on what had been happening at home helped to keep her in the loop and he’d shared the disastrous night Sara’d had and the fallout from her latest panic attack.

‘It’s getting worse’ Sara admitted as she put down her fork, her appetite suddenly vanishing. ‘I keep… I keep seeing this guy’s face… everywhere. And sometimes, it’s his voice or…’

‘Oh, Sara’ Lydia said, touching her hand. ‘Why are you being so pig-headed about this therapy thing?’

Sara shook her head. ‘I just need some time, that’s all. I’m sure I’ll feel better in a couple of weeks.’

‘You were drugged and sexually assaulted, Sara. You’re acting like this happens all the time…’

Sara stood abruptly; she couldn’t take any more pressure. She had enough of Neal nagging her about getting professional help. She sure as hell didn’t need to hear the same old, tired speech at work.

‘Look, thanks for the food, Lydia but I… I really need to get back to those e-mails’ she said dismissively as she moved back to her desk.

Lydia watched as Sara’s back straightened out and she morphed into her ‘Sara Ellis, Wonder Woman’ persona. Apparently, she’d pushed too far.

‘All right’ she sighed. ‘I’ll see you in the boardroom at 1:30.’

WCWCWC

‘Hi sweetie! This is a nice surprise’ Emily Ellis-Foster chanted into the phone.

‘Hi Auntie Emily!’ Hope responded.

‘I’m really looking forward to coming to New York next week for Thanksgiving’ said the woman.‘When do you get to go home?’

‘Well, I’m finishing up my exams and I should be arriving on Monday or Tuesday with any luck.What about you?’ asked Hope.

‘You know, I’ve been so busy with this art exhibit I’ve been helping with… I haven’t talked to your mom in almost two weeks!’ Emily admitted. ‘How is she?’

Hope took in a deep breath. She’d suspected her aunt hadn’t been told about what had happened to her mom. At Sara’s insistence, Hope had heard her dad promise not to call Emily and to let her tell her sister about the kidnapping when she was good and ready. 

Luckily, Hope had made no such promise. 

‘Auntie Em… something happened to Mom last week and I think you need to know about it.’

WCWCWC

Sara collected some papers from her desk and prepared to go up to the 38th floor for her meeting with their newest client. He was a big catch – if they did a good job of providing security for his dinner party, he’d hinted that he was ready to move the bulk of his insurance business from Moss and Sons over to Sterling Bosch. She put her game face on and smiled at her assistant on her way to the elevator.

She could do this – she just needed to keep up appearances for an hour or so, convince Mr. Trong that Sterling Bosch would do an impeccable job for him and that he’d come to the right place. She stood, waiting for the elevator as troubling images began to flash in her mind again – the sick grin on her attacker’s face, the unwelcome feel of his hands and mouth, the sound of his raspy voice as he called her ‘baby’, the repulsive smell of his breath on her face. 

No, no, no, no, no, no. This was _not_ the time to give in to those repulsive images. She had work to do. The ding of the elevator allowed her to momentarily refocus as she stepped in and gave her skirt a nervous tug. The short ride up was shared with Nathan Ginsberg from finance and they made small talk about the weekend coming up, Sara thankful that she was able to remain grounded in the moment. She wished the young man a good weekend and stepped out into the 38th floor lobby, walking by the recovery room and directly into the conference room where she could see two men chatting with Lydia Jordan. Sara stepped in and took a spot at the head of the table, putting out her hand to the older of the two gentlemen – a distinguished looking man in his late fifties with greying hair and a warm smile.

‘Mr. Trong’ Sara said, hand held out. ‘I’m Sara Ellis.’

‘It’s nice to meet you’ he said with a faint accent as he turned towards the younger man to his right. ‘This is my son Hyun’ he said as the younger man smiled and nodded.

Sara froze, staring ahead blankly as if time had stopped. 

_‘Cut it out Hyun, she’s not here for fun and games’… ‘There’s no harm in mixing a little pleasure with business’.Sara felt the man’s foul breath on her face, his hand reaching out to linger on her hair as he smirked at her.‘She hot… I’m telling you’ he said as he brought his lips to her cheek, kissing her and letting his foul tongue run up and down her face as she pulled back instinctively.His hand moved from her hair to her chest as he roughly squeezed her breast and laughed.‘Nice tits’ he said under his breath. She tried to see what the other man was doing – maybe he would intervene…Her view was obstructed by the younger man who continued to manhandle her breast as his hand moved to his crotch where he began to rub through his pants. ‘You and I are going to have a lot of fun getting to know each other’ he murmured._

‘Sara! Sara!’ Lydia repeated as her boss stood there, motionless, at the head of the table. 

Sara felt her body start to shake uncontrollably, her breathing faltering as she fought to take some short, shallow breaths that were simply not getting enough air to her brain. The room began to spin and her heart was beating way too fast. She must be having a heart attack… that was it, she was dying right there in the conference room at Sterling Bosch. 

_‘Sara Ellis, loving wife of Neal Caffrey and devoted mother to Hope and Liam, at the age of 52, in the conference room of Sterling Bosch at 1:35 on Friday, November 22_ _ nd _ _….’_

‘Sara!’ Lydia repeated, touching Sara’s arm, willing her to snap out of it – whatever _this_ was.

Sara could hear her name being called through a long, hollow tunnel somewhere off in the distance and she brought her hand to her chest to will her uncooperative heart to slow down but it only made things worse as her chest tightened against her hand – as if an anvil had taken permanent residence there. ‘ _Move legs, move_ ’ she said (was that her outside voice) as her legs began to move, although she knew deep down she couldn’t outrun the images, the thoughts, the feelings, the memories.

She stumbled out into the hallway towards the executive washroom, her shaking hand grabbing for the doorknob as the door gave way and she turned to secure the lock so she could shut everything out. But the unrelenting images followed her in there and Sara fell to the ground, up against the door as she held her head in her hands.

WCWCWC

‘Neal, it’s Lydia’ the woman said, her voice shaking.

‘Lydia…’

‘Neal, Sara’s having _somesortofmeltdown…_ ’

‘Slow down’ Neal urged.

‘We were in a meeting and Sara just freaked out.’

‘What? Is she okay?’ came Neal’s quivering voice.

‘I can’t get her to listen to me… she’s locked herself in the bathroom.’

‘I’ll be right there.’

Peter waved Neal off with assurances that he would be fine until Elizabeth returned and Neal ran out of the Burke house and out to the car without his feet touching the ground. The drive into Manhattan seemed to take forever and yet he couldn’t remember a single moment of it. Neal parked in a nearby loading zone and ran into the building, ignoring a delivery guy who was not so politely yelling at him to move his goddam car.

Time seemed like a very fluid commodity as he rode up to the 38th floor on a never ending elevator ride and Neal found Lydia hovering nearby the moment he finally stepped out.

‘Thank God you’re here!’ Lydia said as she led Neal towards the room where Sara had barricaded herself and from which there’d been eerie silence for the past ten minutes.

‘One minute she was standing there, shaking hands with the client and suddenly, she began to shake and clutch at her chest. Then, she ran in here and locked the door behind her.’

Neal immediately recognized the all too familiar symptoms of the panic attacks which had begun to plague his wife and he willed his breathing to slow down so he could be of help to her. He knew she’d be mortified when she finally realized she’d had a major meltdown at her workplace and the last thing he wanted to do was to draw more attention to the situation by calling for an ambulance. He could talk her down – he was getting alarmingly good at talking her down.

‘Sara’ he called out, his voice muted as he leaned into the door. ‘Honey, it’s me. Open the door.’

A muffled sound was heard and then the distinct click of the lock being unlatched and Neal looked towards Lydia with a reassuring smile and slipped into the room.

The sight of Sara, sitting on the floor with her legs curled up against her was both horrifying and a welcome relief. She was obviously over the worst of it although she was still shaking and her face was puffy and red from crying. Neal crouched down to look into her tear streaked face and gave her a gentle smile as she stared back into his unblinking eyes. He let himself slide down the wall alongside her and instantly, she was falling into his open arms, her body quivering from the after effects of her most recent trauma.

‘I… need help’ she whispered as she buried her face in Neal’s shirt.

His eyes closed in relief and let he let out the breath he’d been holding since the moment he’d first answered his phone. He let his lips graze the top of her head, arms strong as he cradled her tenderly.

‘It’s going to be okay.’

TBC


	23. Chapter 23

Once the decision had finally been made, it was as if a huge weight had been lifted off Sara’s shoulders. She was emotionally drained and physically exhausted from having to fight her demons all by herself and the realization that, maybe, someone out there could help her get out of this dark place she couldn’t manage to climb out of by herself, was welcome relief. 

Sara Ellis had fought her whole life to keep the world from seeing her vulnerabilities – those who had broken through were part of a very exclusive club – and the thought of opening up about something so raw and painful had kept Sara from giving in to Neal’s pleas to go with him to counselling. Over the last few days, however, Sara had to admit she had definitely hit rock bottom. Having a major meltdown at work and attacking her husband while safe in their bed were sure signs that she just wasn’t coping on her own and that it was time to give in to the inevitable tide.

Thanksgiving was just around the corner and family and friends would be congregating in the Caffrey home to celebrate the occasion. Sara realized she had to make a start on the long road to healing before the cracks in her armour became too obvious to all those around them. Hope was scheduled to come home on Sunday and Neal was poised to make a quick back and forth trip to St-Louis to pick up his mom for her very first visit to their home.

And then there was Emily – she would be arriving by the middle of the following week. Emily… Sara had been avoiding her since her terrible ordeal but sooner or later, she would have to let her sister know what had happened. Neal had tried his best to convince his wife to reach out to her but Sara had resisted. She wasn’t sure she was ready to share the details of what had happened with someone she felt so close to and she’d warned Neal to stay out of it. He’d reluctantly agreed to respect her wishes… although there was _always_ another way, as Neal Caffrey knew all too well. Seeing his wife’s heartbreaking meltdown in bed the night before had spurred him on and he’d put in a quick call to Hope to see if she could reach out to her aunt Emily and fill her in on what had been going on. 

So, when the doorbell rang shortly after dinner Friday night, Neal watched with interest as Sara headed out to the front of the house to see who was at the door. He hadn’t been the least bit surprised when he’d heard his wife’s stunned voice echoing through the house.

‘Emily! What are you _doing_ here?’ he heard Sara say as he smiled surreptitiously.

‘What kind of welcome is that?’ Emily said, amused, as she put down her bag and stepped in out of the cold November night.

‘I… we weren’t expecting you until the middle of next week’ Sara said as she threw herself into her older sister’s open arms.

‘Thought I’d surprise you and come early’ Emily lied as Neal finally joined them in the front hall.

‘Hey Emily!’ he said in greeting, trying his best to sound surprised.

‘Hope you don’t mind me showing up unannounced’ she said as she hugged her brother-in-law.

Sara saw a secretive look pass between them and was just about to comment on it when Neal spoke up.

‘Here, let me help you with your suitcase’ he offered as he carried his sister-in-law’s bag into the back of the house with the Ellis sisters following close behind.

Half an hour later, Sara and Emily were settled comfortably on the couch in the family room, catching up on the last few weeks while Neal not so discretely eavesdropped on their conversation as he puttered around the kitchen getting tea ready for them.

‘Why didn’t you call me?’ Emily asked, her hands wrapped firmly around Sara’s.

Sara gave her a non-committal shrug. The explanation for her lack of transparency was rather complicated – truth was, she couldn’t quite understand it herself.

‘I don’t know…’ she said, her voice trailing. ‘…maybe because I knew you’d drop everything and come running.’

‘And what if something happened to me? Wouldn’t _you_ come running?’ asked Emily.

Sara’s eyes filled with tears as she reached out to hug her sister. 

‘I’m just glad you’re here’ she admitted as Neal appeared with a couple of mugs of piping hot tea and a plate of homemade banana bread.

‘So am I’ he added as he leaned in to kiss the top of Sara’s head.‘I’m going to go upstairs and read and let you two catch up. Emily, I’ll put your things up in Hope’s room on the third floor; there’s a bathroom up there too…’

‘Thanks Neal’ said Emily with a warm smile.

There were times in life when it was important to obey your spouse’s wishes and then, there were times when… well, Neal smirked as he headed up the stairs, the soft voices of the two women fading in the background.

Emily Ellis-Foster seemed to be just what the doctor ordered.

WCWCWC

‘I thought you’d be sound asleep by now’ Sara said as she appeared in the doorway to their bedroom just past midnight.

Neal looked up from his book, pleased to see a smile on his wife’s face, something that had been rather rare as of late. ‘I was waiting up for you.’

She crawled onto the bed and sat back on her heels, eyes glued on Neal’s face in an effort to discern any of his usual tells. 

‘So, how did you do it Caffrey?’ she asked as Neal frowned. ‘Did you call her?’

‘No’ he said simply with a straight face. 

‘Who did you get to call her, then? Was it Hope?’ she asked, trying to get to the bottom of the mystery of Emily’s sudden appearance. There was no way on God’s green earth Neal was _not_ involved in this, somehow.

Neal raised his eyebrows and shrugged, doing his very best to look innocent. He was still a master deflector although he’d learned years ago _never_ to outright lie to Sara Ellis.

‘You’re still a damn good conman’ she muttered as she gave him a playful shove and stood to prepare for bed.

Neal watched as Sara moved around the room, changing into a nightshirt and looking more relaxed than he’d seen her look in weeks. The hopelessness he’d been noticing seemed to be fading and he felt a surge of optimism at the sight of her looking so calm; maybe there was finally light at the end of the tunnel.

‘So, you two had a good visit, then?’ he asked as Sara slipped into bed and seamlessly into his open arms. What had begun as a horrible day seemed to be ending on a high note.

‘Yes… we did’ she admitted grudgingly. ‘Thanks for _not_ getting in touch with her.’

‘You’re welcome’ Neal answered with a naughty grin. 

Her mind wandered back to the upcoming appointment with the therapist and Neal felt her stiffen in his arms. 

‘So when’s our next appointment?’ Sara asked, her voice serious.

‘Monday afternoon’ Neal responded, fingers lovingly running up and down her arm. 

‘Is she nice?’ Sara asked.

‘Very. You’ll like her’ Neal said. ‘She reminds me of you – very no nonsense.’

He felt Sara nod against his chest.

‘When do you leave to pick up your mom?’ she asked.

She’d been gearing up to talk him into letting her come along but now that Emily was there and Hope was on her way home, maybe she _could_ manage to sleep in her own bed without Neal for one night.

‘I got a flight out Monday night at 7:00 and we should get back by dinnertime Tuesday’ he whispered, sensing Sara’s apprehension. ‘Are you going to be okay on your own?’

‘I am now that Em’s here’ Sara answered as she reached around Neal to turn off the bedside lamp.

They’d been sleeping with the light on for almost two weeks and Neal gave Sara a questioning look; he didn’t want her pushing herself before she was good and ready.

‘Are you sure you’re ready to turn out the light?’ he asked sweetly.

Sara turned over onto her left side, taking his hand in hers and bringing it snugly around her waist.

‘Just hold me, okay?’ she said as Neal smiled in the dark.

Before long, Sara’s breathing evened out and Neal felt her body relax. Satisfied that she was asleep, Neal finally gave in to his own exhaustion and drifted off. 

The next thing he knew, he was lying on his back, with Sara tightly up against him on his side of the bed… and the bedside lamp was back on.

WCWCWC

The weekend was a whirlwind as the preparations continued for their Thanksgiving celebration.On Saturday, Emily and Sara went shopping and met up with Elizabeth for lunch at a little café near the gallery. 

Neal headed out to Brooklyn to keep Peter company while the women were out and he could tell the moment he stepped into the Burke house that Peter’s patience with recuperating was wearing rather thin. 

‘So, El tells me they’re taking your catheter out on Monday’ Neal said as he sat across from Peter in the Burke living room.

Peter scoffed; he couldn’t wait to get rid of the damn thing. It was a constant reminder of his surgery at a time when all he wanted to do was get back to normal.

‘Thank God!’ he answered, irritated. ‘Maybe by the end of the week, I can come by the gallery for a few hours…’

‘Whoa, whoa, there cowboy!’ Neal interrupted. ‘Do you have some sort of a death wish? El’s going to have your head on a platter if you try to go back before you’re ready.’

‘Do you have any idea what it’s like to be laid up…’ Peter began. He suddenly stopped as he thought back to the previous year. Neal had spent several months recovering from a gunshot wound. He’d even had to use a wheelchair while he recuperated, something he’d found painfully annoying – and humbling.

‘… yeah, I guess you do’ he concluded as Neal gave him a dirty look.

‘Look, I _know_ it’s difficult to be patient while your body heals but…’ Neal said as he saw the look of sheer frustration on Peter’s face.‘…maybe I can bring over the October receipts and you can get started on them, _if_ Elizabeth agrees, that is’ he said, taking pity on Peter. 

Peter’s face lit up as if he’d just won the lottery and Neal shook his head and laughed out loud.

‘It’s good to see you laugh, buddy’ Peter said. ‘Does that mean things are going better with Sara?’

‘Well, having Emily here has definitely helped keep her focussed’ he said. ‘And she’s finally agreed to come to therapy with me.’

‘That’s great!’ Peter agreed. ‘That must be a load off your mind.’

‘You have no idea’ Neal said, turning serious. ‘The sooner she gets started, the sooner she can get back to feeling like her old self.’

Peter watched Neal’s face grow serious and he couldn’t help but worry about how all this was affecting him.

‘What about you? Are you going to be okay?’

Neal seemed to snap out of his funk and he gave his best friend a forced smile.

‘Of course’ he lied, immediately sensing that the pat answer wasn’t going to cut it with Peter.

Peter had learned over time that the best way to get Neal to open up was to be wait and let him talk when he was good and ready. Sure enough, after a few seconds of uncomfortable silence, Neal continued.

‘Peter, I’m scared she won’t come back… she gets this horrible… terrified look in her eyes and I know she’s remembering…’ he said, his voice quiet. ‘Don’t get me wrong, I’m _used_ to Sara being intense… but I can usually break through her shell and make her laugh, connect with her, you know. But, now… when I try to reach out to her, sometimes, she actually looks as if she’s scared of _me_. That’s been the absolute worst part of this nightmare, having my own wife afraid of me touching her…’

Neal looked up at Peter and swallowed hard. ‘I am _not_ letting this asshole take away what we have… no way.’

Peter listened, his heart breaking for Neal. He’d watched the magic develop between his best friend and Sara Ellis over the years. He’d been a witness to all the ups and downs as their relationship evolved from antagonistic to playful to passionate and finally into a fully committed marriage based on trust and mutual respect.

How could something so strong and resilient change in the blink of an eye?

TBC 


	24. Chapter 24

Sunday afternoon brought with it an additional dose of joyful chaos as the Caffreys prepared to welcome Hope back to the fold. Neal and Sara drove out to Penn Station to pick her up only to find Cameron waiting for her as well. He’d been scheduled to work at the gallery but the young man had found someone to cover for him so he could be the first to see Hope’s face when she stepped off the train. The guy was about as subtle as a freight train as far as his feeling for her were concerned and that was just fine with Neal. He could certainly relate – after all these years, he still got butterflies every time Sara stepped into the room.

The foursome arrived back in White Plains to find Mozzie, Liam and Cody getting dinner ready while Emily and Caitlin set the table in the dining room for the large group. As always, Neal was thrilled to have a full house. With the addition of Cameron and Cody, their family was growing and he couldn’t have been happier.

They all settled around the table to a meal of pasta primavera and Caesar salad while they discussed the sleeping arrangements for the busy week ahead. Neal’s mom was arriving on Tuesday and he was determined to make things work with everyone under the same roof.

‘Well, I can stay at Cam’s’ Hope offered, between bites.

Neal gave a wayward glance in Cameron Armstrong’s direction as the young man beamed, obviously thrilled at the prospect.

‘And I can always stay at a hotel…’ Emily volunteered for the second time as both Neal and Sara chanted a definite ‘No!’

‘Look, why don’t _you_ stay up in Hope’s room, we’ll get my mom settled in our room and Sara and I can sleep on the pull out’ Neal said as Sara nodded. ‘And if Hope wants to stay over, she can always share her old room with Caitlin.’

Caitlin glanced over at Hope, her surrogate sister and smiled; she enjoyed spending time with the young woman and an impromptu sleepover sounded like a lot of fun.

‘Works for me’ Caitlin said.

‘It’s all settled then’ Sara declared as she poked at her salad listlessly.

Having a full house was helping to create a sense of normalcy for Sara and she was finally finding joy in some of those everyday things which had recently lost their appeal. But the flashes and recollections were still coming regularly and despite her resolute efforts to sleep in the dark the previous night, she had found herself waking with her heart in her throat and had reluctantly given in to the terror before curling up against Neal’s warm body for some semblance of security. 

She glanced over to see Neal, grinning from ear to ear, as he teased Liam about something or other and her heart sank. He was a wonderful husband in every way and he sure as hell didn’t deserve to have a wife who recoiled at his loving touch. Their love life had always been amazing, the two of them totally in synch. She wondered, in passing, if she would ever get that back, that feeling of total abandon, of absolute trust and she felt a shiver run all the way down her spine. 

She craved the comfort and reassurance of Neal’s arms and yet the thought of lips on her body, of hands groping, of moans and grunts and whispers made her skin crawl as she thought of the man who had used sex as a weapon to overpower her for his own twisted ends.

‘What do _you_ think, honey’ she heard Neal say playfully, his face alight with mischief.

She looked around the table at all the expectant faces, smiling at her, expecting her to be in the moment when her mind just wouldn’t let her do that – at least not yet. Her heart started to beat faster and she could feel herself losing control.

‘Will you excuse me’ she muttered as she stood and abruptly left the table, leaving a bunch of confused faces behind.

Emily and Neal exchanged worried looks as everyone else’s gaze returned uneasily to their plates.

‘I’ll go’ Neal said as he stood and followed his wife up the stairs.

He found her in their room, sitting on the edge of the bed with that ‘deer in the headlights’ look he was growing accustomed to seeing on her face. Her eyes met his and he could see they were filled with tears – and fear.

‘Neal… what if I can never enjoy having sex again’ she said as he stared back in shock.

‘What do you mean? What’s brought this on?’ he asked in response to her unexpected statement.

‘What if I can never get over what he did to me…’

‘Sara…’ he said as he placed his arm around her shoulder. ‘It’s going to take some time, that’s all. We’ll work it out, you’ll see.’

‘But you don’t deserve this… having a wife who’s… frigid!’

Neal was unable to hold back an amused chuckle. ‘Frigid? Who are you, Sigmund Freud?’ he teased as Sara joined in and stifled a laugh. 

‘You know what I mean…’ she began, wiping her eyes. ‘I know that what he did to me has nothing to do with the two of us but… when I think about having sex, I can’t stop seeing his face or thinking about the way his disgusting mouth felt on me… I just feel so dirty… I feel like… like damaged goods.’

Neal let out a long slow breath as he realized once again that Sara was a prisoner of those awful memories and that she had to fight them off every minute of every day. Guilt and anger rose in his chest although neither one of those emotions would be of any help in this moment.

‘Baby, don’t say that. It’s not true. You’re the same, wonderful woman you’ve always been, you’re the woman I feel in love with, the mother of our two great kids, the only person I ever want to share my life with’ Neal said as his voice began to falter. ‘I don’t care about sex, I just want you to be able to leave all this behind you.’

Sara let out a choked sound – half sob, half laugh. ‘Right! _You_ don’t care about sex’ she repeated as she gave him a playful shove, trying to break the sombre mood.

Neal laughed out loud at her attempt at humour and shook his head.

‘What I mean is… I can wait… I can wait as long as it takes for us to work this out. Sex is… well, it’s great but there’s no rush, we’ll get there… when the time is right for _you_.’

‘Oh, yeah? And what makes you so sure we can work it out?’ she asked, staring into his deep blue eyes.

Neal moved his hand up to gently cup her cheek, wiping a wayward tear with his thumb.

‘Because that… asshole might have violated your body but he can never take away the essence of who you are… and he sure as hell can’t destroy what we’ve got. Nobody ever could’ Neal said with such assurance that Sara smiled back in response.

‘Neal Caffrey, eternal optimist’ she said with a soft laugh as she managed to regain control of her emotions.

He gave her an embarrassed shrug.

‘Just telling it like it is’ he said as he gently kissed her forehead.

They sat in silence for a few moments, catching their breath and holding on to each other as they calmed their cluttered minds. Sara was the first to speak, once calm had returned.

‘Didn’t you say you made cheesecake for dessert?’ she asked.

‘Chocolate Amaretto’ he answered as Sara stood resolutely and put out her hand for Neal to take.

In that moment, cheesecake sounded like just the thing.

WCWCWC

Neal sat in the waiting room with his leg nervously bouncing up and down as he pretended to read the book which sat open on his lap. He checked his watch once again, noting Sara had been with Marion Birch for over 50 minutes. He brought his eyes back to the page in front of him before finally giving up and closing the book with a flourish. Sara’s session with Marion was to be followed by their first couple’s session and he hoped she’d be feeling up to it – surely, opening up to Marion would have been difficult and exhausting for her.

Getting her here was just the beginning and Neal knew the road ahead would be long and tortuous. Marion had explained that she used a combination of cognitive and behavioural therapy and that things might become more difficult in the short term before Sara could start to feel safe and in control of her life again.

Neal glanced over at the door behind which Sara had disappeared and he opened his book once again.

WCWCWC

Sara stood when Neal walked in. She’d been sitting in one of the armchairs – the same one Neal had sat in the previous week – and she moved to the love seat, an obvious invitation for him to join her.

‘Neal, come on in and join us’ said Marion as she took her own spot across from the couple.

Neal’s eyes were riveted on Sara, trying to get a sense of the mood, of how she was feeling. Her eyes were dry but her face was puffy and red, the way it always got after a good cry. She took a seat and Neal followed, reaching for her hand and kissing her knuckles gently as he settled in beside her.

‘You all right?’ he asked softly as Sara nodded.

‘Fine’ she said with a small smile which was no doubt meant to be reassuring.

Neal looked up, noticing Marion staring back at them, probably getting a sense of the two of them together as a couple. She’d met with them individually but seeing them together would surely give the therapist more insight into their relationship.

‘I just want to go over a couple of ground rules with the two of you’ she explained as Neal settled in. ‘Whatever we discuss in our private sessions remains private – unless _you_ decide you want to share it with your spouse.’

Sara and Neal nodded; they were novices at this kind of thing.

‘The goal of our couple’s sessions is to give you a chance to share what you’d like to share and to talk about how the two of you can work together to attain your goals’ she explained.

‘Now, I’ve asked both of you what you’d like to accomplish with this therapy and I think it would be very beneficial for the two of you to hear what the other had to say about that. Would that be okay?’

‘Sure’ Neal said just as Sara muttered ‘Yes’ and they giggled at the awkwardness of the moment.

‘Sara, why don’t you tell Neal what you shared with me a few minutes ago?’

‘Well…’ Sara began as she looked up into Marion’s eyes.

‘Don’t tell _me_ , tell Neal’ Marion said as Sara shifted her body to turn towards he husband.

She took both of his hands in hers before speaking and took a deep breath. ‘Neal…I… I want to _stop_ being scared. I want to go back to the way things were between us. I want to laugh again… I want to hear _you_ laugh and I… want us to… be together like we were… before, you know… sex.’

Neal listened as his wife spoke. He gave her a sad smile; it was a lot of wishes wrapped up in one and he realized it would take a while to get there.

‘Neal?’ Marion urged.

He squirmed a little and returned his eyes to Sara as he spoke. ‘I want to… understand how you’re feeling and I want to know how I can help you… what I can say and do to make things better for you.’

Sara’s eyes filled with tears upon hearing Neal’s words. Despite how this whole sordid affair had affected _him_ , he was focussed on her needs and what he could do to make things better for her. She let out a sob and forced a smile as she leaned in to kiss his cheek.

‘Thanks honey’ she said, her voice unsteady.

Marion spoke and suddenly Neal and Sara seemed to remember they weren’t alone in the room.

‘I recommend we meet separately and together every week’ she explained. ‘It’s going to be intense at times but I believe we can make better progress if we commit to a weekly appointment. Does that work for the two of you?’

Neal and Sara nodded as they settled back in, holding each other’s hand.

‘So tell me about what challenges you might be facing this coming week?’ the woman added as she addressed Sara.

Sara glanced over at Neal before speaking. ‘Hum, this is not a typical week with Thanksgiving and everything… we’ve got a houseful of guests. Neal is flying to St-Louis to pick up his mom tonight and… our daughter is home and so is my sister.’

Marion nodded in understanding. ‘That doesn’t mean we can set a couple of small goals for this week’ she said. ‘What would _you_ like to accomplish this week, Sara – keeping in mind we need to start with baby steps?’

Sara was silent for a moment while she thought things through. ‘I’d like to be able to sleep with the lights out’ she said softly.

Neal thought of her previous efforts and how they’d ended in failure; he didn’t want Sara to set her sights too high.

‘All right, well, let’s focus on that, then. I recommend you change the light bulb to a softer wattage. Start by decreasing it gradually over the next few days until you have the equivalent of a night light. But don’t rush things.’

Neal gave himself a mental head slap; why hadn’t he thought of doing that?

‘Also, I want to caution you against engaging in any type sexual activity until we work through a few issues with Sara’ Marion added.

‘I told Marion what happened the other night’ Sara said, turning to face Neal. ‘And I told her I was afraid I’d been sending you mixed messages.’

Neal shook his head, his eyes narrowing in an effort to put Sara at ease. He’d felt just as responsible for what had happened and had chastised himself plenty for not reading Sara’s body language as well as he should have.

‘Tell Neal what you need from him’ Marion said, directing Sara.

‘I need you to hold me when I get… upset. I know I’ve been clingy lately – ‘

Marion interjected. ‘Sara, don’t make excuses or assumptions – just ask Neal when you need him to do something for you.’

‘Honey, I understand’ Neal said as he rubbed her back. ‘Just… you need to tell me if the way I’m touching you doesn’t feel right.’

‘For the time being, Sara needs to feel in total control. We’re going to work on communicating clearly so that both of you are on the same page. Sara, for the coming week, I want you to try to stay in the moment. If you feel like kissing Neal, then go ahead and do that. Neal, I need you to be on the receiving end… that is, be responsive to Sara without making any advances yourself. Do you think you can handle that?’

‘Yes, of course’ he said.

‘Just let her set the course and neither one of you should have any expectations as to where a kiss or a loving gesture might lead. If it feels right, you should reach out to Neal and if, suddenly, it doesn’t feel good, you need to stop. No explanations needed.’

Neal’s arm instinctively slid behind her back, lovingly resting there as Sara listened.

‘And next week, we’ll see how you did with that and we’ll adjust accordingly’ Marion added as she sat up straight, indicating their time was up.

Neal and Sara stood to thank her and within minutes, they were back outside in the cold yet sunny November day as they made their way to the car, each with their own private thoughts.

TBC


	25. Chapter 25

‘You know, I _could_ have taken a cab’ Neal said as he stood in front of Sara in the departure lounge of JFK, his overnight bag in his hand.

‘What? And keep me from giving you a proper send off?’ she said, lacing her arms firmly around his neck.

He gave her a warm smile in an effort to mask his worry about leaving her so soon after their therapy appointment. Surely, her talk with Marion Birch had rattled her cage – that was inevitable. Luckily, he had both Hope and Emily keeping an eye on her, making sure she was all right.

‘Are you going to be okay, sleeping alone in our bed?’ he asked, dropping his bag at his feet and tentatively placing his hands on her hips.

She seemed relaxed as she took his hands in hers and guided them tightly around her waist, locking her in his embrace.‘I’ll miss you… but I’ve got the kids… and Emily.I’ll be fine, don’t worry’ she said, her voice surprisingly strong.

Neal waited as they stood, bodies pressed together; he wasn’t about to rush her. The feel of her body against his was a welcome sensation and he watched as Sara’s face softened. After a moment, she leaned into him and placed a slow, purposeful kiss on his grateful lips. For a moment there, it was just as it had always been and Neal was reminded of just how much he enjoyed the feel of her soft lips on his.

‘I love you’ he murmured as she ended the kiss.

‘Me too’ she said as she reluctantly pulled out of his embrace. ‘One of us will be back to pick you up tomorrow.’

‘Okay. But take the Santa Fe, it’ll be easier for my mom to get in and out of’ Neal said as he reached down to pick up his bag.

‘Tell her I can’t wait to see her’ Sara called out as Neal turned to make his way over to the security area.

‘Will do. Bye Repo’ he called out with a wave.

Suddenly, Sara found herself standing alone in the middle of a crowded airport as she watched Neal disappear behind the security door.

She missed him already.

WCWCWC

‘I’ve got the popcorn’ Hope called out as she waltzed into her parents’ bedroom carrying a giant bowl of Orville Redenbacher with Raffie nipping at her heels.

‘And I’ve got M&Ms and Twizzlers’ Caitlin added as she threw herself on the bed with a thump.

‘Careful!’ Emily called out. She ducked, narrowly avoiding being thumped on the head by the large bowl of candy and she slid up the bed to make room for the two younger women, joining her sister up against the headboard.

Movie night in bed had been Hope’s idea and Sara was grateful for the distraction. Liam was downstairs with a few friends watching the hockey game, monopolizing the large screen television but she didn’t mind – curling up in bed in their jammies seemed like a lot more fun anyway. 

Sure, there would be the usual bickering about the choice of movie and Raffie would try repeatedly to worm his way onto the bed to get to the snacks but Sara was surrounded by warmth and laughter and after her session with Marion Birch, that’s exactly what she needed.

‘So, I was thinking we’d catch up on ‘ _American Horror Story - Hotel’_ Caitlin announced as she reached for the remote control. ‘That Donovan guy is a real hunk!’

A loud groan was heard from the other three occupants of the bed.

‘No way!’ Hope said. ‘I want to watch ‘ _Game of Thrones.’_

Emily and Sara exchanged amused looks; it was going to be a long night.

‘Come on, girls. I thought we’d go with a chick flick – like… I don’t know… ‘ _When Harry Met Sally_?’ Emily suggested as Hope and Caitlin began to whine like a couple of toddlers. 

‘That movie was made before I was even born!’ Caitlin complained.

‘Mom, _you_ decide’ Hope finally said as she popped a handful of M&Ms into her mouth.

‘Well, I noticed _Miss Congeniality_ is playing on channel 5’ Sara suggested. ‘That movie always makes me laugh.’

Caitlin frowned and Hope shrugged; truth was everybody was pretty well on board with whatever Sara wanted.They were all just relieved to see her finally loosening up and enjoying herself. 

‘Great idea!’ Emily called out as she grabbed a piece of licorice right out of Caitlin’s hand.

‘Hey, that was mine!’ whined Caitlin.

‘Well, it’s _mine_ now’ Emily teased as she ducked to avoid Caitlin’s waving arms. 

Sara laughed, feeling settled and content. Being surrounded by the women in her life made her feel safe and secure and at this point in time, that was all she needed. 

WCWCWC

Neal dropped his bag by the foot of the bed and let himself fall onto his back with a groan. The flight between New York and St. Louis had been reasonably short but he’d had to change planes at Logan Airport and after the emotional day he’d had, he was more than ready to crawl into the welcoming bed and fall blissfully asleep. He turned to check the time, wondering if it was too late to call his mom and let her know he’d arrived. She’d made him promise to call and he figured she’d likely be waiting by the phone, regardless of what time it was.

Despite the late hour, he grabbed for his phone and before dialling his mom, he texted home as an unconscious smile passed his lips.

_‘Arrived safe._ ❤️ _Miss you.’_

He sat up against the headboard and kicked off his shoes as he dialled the Amica Retirement Home. 

‘Neal?’ came Linda Bennett’s voice, sounding anxious.

‘Hey Mom! I hope I didn’t wake you. I just wanted to let you know I’m here.’

‘That’s great, honey. I was hoping you’d call’ she said.

‘So, are you ready for your trip to the Big Apple?’

‘I’ve been looking forward to it, you have no idea’ Linda replied with the small voice Neal had come to know.

‘Well, our flight leaves at noon so I thought I would come over for breakfast and we could spend some time together’ Neal said, his eyelids closing despite his efforts to keep them open.

‘Great! Well, we’d better get some sleep, then. Tomorrow’s a big day!’ she said.‘Oh, Neal… did you get everything worked out with the airline for my oxygen tank?’

‘All set, Mom. No worries. You sleep tight and I’ll see you first thing in the morning’ he said as he fought off sleep.

‘Goodnight honey’ came the answer just as Neal heard his phone chirp with an incoming text.

_‘Lying in bed surrounded by three snoring women and a very tired dog. Love you, Caffrey!’_

Neal made a quick trip to the bathroom and within five minutes, he was sound asleep.

WCWCWC

Sara turned in bed, getting her bearings. The younger set had given up on the movie and had gone to bed in Caitlin’s room but Emily had declared she was just too tired to move and had curled up in Neal’s usual spot. She wasn’t being very subtle in her efforts to stay near her sister but Sara didn’t mind – she was just relieved not to be alone. 

Emily stirred and opened her eyes, the light from the nearby lamp causing her to blink as she came to.

‘You okay?’ she asked as she turned to face Sara.

‘I’m fine’ Sara said as she smiled at her sister. ‘I’m just really glad you’re here.’

Emily’s eyes lit up as she seemed to recall something from long ago. ‘Do you remember that time Mom and Dad took us to see _The Wizard of Oz_ at the drive-in?’ Emily asked.

‘Oh, my God!’ Sara replied as she thought back to how terrified she’d been at the sight of the Wicked Witch of the East. After seeing the movie, she’d begun to have recurring nightmares featuring the ugly old hag with the striped stockings.

‘For weeks after that, you kept coming into my room late at night and lying on the floor next to my bed with your pillow’ Emily said with chuckle.

‘Until you finally gave up and dragged my mattress into your room and set it up next to your bed’ Sara recalled. ‘I think I slept there for six months.’

‘Well, four, actually’ Emily added. ‘…but it _felt_ like six!’

Sara laughed heartily, something she hadn’t done in a few weeks and she could feel her body let go of all the tension and anguish she’d been harbouring.

‘So, tell me’ Emily said, her voice turning serious. ‘How did it go with the therapist?’

Sara propped herself up on her elbow. ‘It was good, not as weird as I thought it would be. I really like her. Basically, she just listened and I ended up blurting the whole thing out… you know, what… what he did to me.’

Emily listened and watched her baby sister’s sad eyes.

‘It felt good to let it out. I cried and cried and cried…’ Sara said, her eyes faraway. ‘I think she might charge us extra for all the tissue I used.’

Emily smiled. Sara was strong… and she had Neal – she would get through this.

‘You know, I was knocked around quite a bit by the guy I was with in L.A. when I first ran away. He never took no for an answer in bed either…’ Emily said.

Sara frowned. Emily had never shared much about the first few months she’d been away from home. But during his search for her, Neal had discovered Emily had gotten involved with drugs and had hooked up with a dealer before eventually getting her life back on track.

‘I’m sorry’ Sara said as she touched her sister’s arm.

Emily snapped out of it and looked at Sara. ‘It’s okay. It was a really long time ago. And I managed to get myself straightened out. When I finally settled down in Tucson, I met Mike and… well, he was pretty well my knight in shining armour.’

Sara listened. Emily had never opened up much about her past. Sara knew that she’d married Mike Foster and that he’d died while they were living in Brussels but Emily had never spoken much about the early years, when she’d first left home.

‘Did he… beat you? That other guy?’ Sara asked.

‘Yeah’ Emily said softly. ‘And he’d… take me even when I said no.’

Sara gasped and wiped a tear. Emily had been young, trying to deal with a horrible situation on her own while she, on the other hand, had Neal and friends and family in her corner.

‘Honey, I know it doesn’t feel like it right now but you’ll get through this – and you’ll be even stronger than before. This… this animal, he doesn’t get to win. You get to stand up to him and claim what’s yours. And you _will_ , just give yourself some time and be patient with yourself’ Emily said as she touched Sara’s face. ‘And whatever you do, don’t shut Neal out, he’s crazy in love with you.’

Sara’s mind returned to the past, remembering the comfort she’d always gotten from her big sister. ‘Remember that song you used to sing to me to help me get to sleep?’ she asked as Emily frowned.

‘Oh, no you don’t. You’re not getting me to sing to you! No way!’ Emily said with a giggle.

Sara just stared at her and fluttered her eyelashes as Emily laughed and finally rolled her eyes.

‘All right, fine!’ she finally said. ‘But I swear to God, if you ever tell _anybody_ about this…’

Sara put her head down on her pillow, snuggling up closer to Emily who placed a hand on her sister’s head and began to gently caress her hair as Sara closed her eyes, relaxing at her gentle touch.

Emily’s soft voice filled the room, her hand moving to lovingly rub Sara’s back.

There was silence for a few moments, then Sara’s quiet voice was heard.

‘Thanks Em’ she said, eyes closed and a soft smile on her lips.

TBC


	26. Chapter 26

Hope wandered by her parents’ bedroom, noticing her mom in a losing battle with a fitted sheet, struggling as she changed the bed.

‘Hey Mom!’ she called out as Sara startled.

‘Sorry, I thought you heard me coming’ she said as she stepped into the room and took hold of one end of the sheet, expertly tucking it under the mattress.

‘I’m just getting the room ready for your grandma…’ Sara said with a tone that seemed rather skeptical. ‘Your dad seems to think she’ll be able to come up here to sleep but… I think he’s in denial.’

The two women sat, side by side on the edge of the bed.

‘She did look pretty weak the last time we saw her’ Hope remarked as Sara nodded.

‘I think Daddy knows she doesn’t have much time left and he’s hell bent on bringing her here before it’s too late’ Sara said.

‘Can you blame him? He just found her again’ Hope said.

Sara raised her eyebrows in agreement ‘ – and then there’s all that guilt he’s still feeling from the first time he went to meet with her.’

‘She seems like a very forgiving person’ Hope commented. ‘I wish we’d gotten to know her sooner.’

Sara smiled sadly. ‘Everything happens for a reason…’

Hope looked up at her mom, watching as Sara reacted, a little too late, to what she’d just uttered without thinking.

‘Do you really believe that, Mom?’ Hope asked.

Sara’s eyes instantly filled with tears. ‘Maybe, someday, I’ll look back on all this and see a purpose for it but right now… I have to admit, I’m not seeing it.’

Hope let her hand move to cover Sara’s. ‘Mom, you’ve always taught me that we can get through _anything_ in life. Look at everything you’ve overcome. I know I was little, but when you had cancer, I remember you telling me not to worry, that everything would be all right. And when Liam got sick, and when Daddy got shot… Mom, you’re the strongest woman I’ve ever known… You’re my hero.’

Sara let out a gasp. She and Hope were alike in so many ways, fiery and independent. When she’d first gotten pregnant, she’d agonized about being a good mom – turned out, she’d managed to do right by Hope by just being herself and showing her daughter anything was possible.

She ran her hand lovingly over her daughter’s unruly mane of thick, wavy hair before shaking off the melancholy; neither one of them was very big on wallowing in emotion.

‘So, what time are Daddy and Grandma getting here?’ she asked.

‘Their flight lands at 4:35’ Sara said. ‘You want to come along? We might need help getting Linda in and out of the car.’

‘Sure. Count me in. Cam doesn’t get off work until 9:00 anyway.’

At the mention of the young man’s name, Sara couldn’t help but notice the light in her daughter’s bright blue eyes growing more intense.

‘So, how’s that going anyway?’ Sara ventured.

The small smile on Hope’s lips grew exponentially brighter as her face lit up.

‘Mom, I think he might be the _one_. I kept wondering if there was someone else out there for me, waiting for lightning to strike but… when I’m with him… everything seems _so_ right. I know this sounds weird but it’s as if I’m a better _me_ when I’m with him. Does that make any sense?’

‘That makes perfect sense, honey’ Sara replied with a knowing smile.

‘I always thought that when I met the ‘right’ guy, there’s be fireworks and I’d _know_ , without the shadow of a doubt’ Hope said as she stared into her mom’s eyes. ‘Uncle Peter and I had a talk before I left for school and he was telling me about all the different ways we can fall in love – how for him and Aunt Elizabeth, it was love at first sight, how you and Daddy were at each others’ throats before that passion turned into something else… but that, sometimes, you just feel safe and happy with someone who can make you laugh and feel loved and that feeling just continues to deepen over time.’

‘And that’s what Cam does for you?’ Sara asked.

Hope nodded with a goofy grin on her face. Sara placed her arm around her daughter and hugged her as a new onslaught of tears filled her eyes – this time, tears of joy for her little girl.

‘Now, I think it’s more likely your grandma’s going to have to sleep in the family room. Do you want to help me make up the hide-a-bed down there?’

Hope nodded and stood as the two women left the room, hand in hand.

WCWCWC

‘Can you pull in here for a minute?’ Neal asked the cab driver as they turned onto Hudson Road, a few blocks away from the Amica Retirement Home.

Meandering through the streets of St. Louis was bringing back a slew of emotions for the man who’d spent his formative years there, struggling to find himself. He’d just spotted Ernie’s Pool Hall up ahead, an unsavoury place where he’s spent _way too many_ hours hustling pool and generally getting himself into mischief. He suddenly had an overwhelming urge to see what the place looked like after all these years. The faded neon sign ‘ _Now serving breakfast’_ blinked up ahead and Neal instructed the driver to pull over and let him out. He glanced at his watch; he could probably spare twenty minutes or so to walk down memory lane – even ‘bad’ memory lane.

Neal stepped into the bar and he could hear laughter coming from the back where a group of older men sat around sipping coffee and chowing down on what looked like greasy toast and watery eggs. He waved to the woman behind the bar and took a spot near the back hall, leading to what he knew was the stockroom and washrooms.

The older woman walked over to Neal, pulling out a notepad from her hip pocket. She looked like she’d seen better days, her matted hair was pulled up in an impromptu chignon, revealing crows feet around her eyes and the unmistakeable wrinkles of a long time smoker around her mouth.

‘What can I get you?’ she asked, her voice rough as she studied Neal up and down.

They didn’t get much traffic from casual passersby; Ernie’s was a pool hall and bar, not primo real estate for brunch.

‘Coffee, black’ Neal said as he examined the woman. There was something vaguely familiar about her, perhaps the blue of her eyes or the swing of her hips.

‘You from out of town?’ she asked as she looked over the fine specimen of a man before her. 

Neal was wearing a fall jacket over a polo shirt and a pair of chinos; not exactly the type they were used to catering to at Ernie’s and yet, as he’d done all his life, Neal Caffrey could fit in anywhere.

‘Just passing through’ Neal replied casually. ‘Is Ernie still around?’ he asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

She scoffed as she placed the pencil back behind her ear, completing the look.

‘Ernie died three years ago. Lung cancer’ she answered, her eyes narrowing. ‘Did you know him?’

‘Decades ago’ Neal admitted as he looked around the place. Sadly, it hadn’t changed much – the same tired prints of dogs playing poker, the felt on the tables a faded shade of green.

‘Hey Brenda!’ Neal heard one of the men calling out. ‘What do we got to do to get a refill on this swill?’

The woman turned away as Neal watched her attentively. Naw, it couldn’t be… His mind flashed back 40 years as he glanced down the hall leading to the back room.

_‘Come on kid. Are you gonna stay a virgin your whole life?’ Earl said as the other men stood around the pool table, grinning. Sixteen-year-old Danny Brooks looked over as Brenda beckoned him with a crooked finger, standing in the hallway leading to the stockroom. She was hot – as far as older women who served beer all day in a dump dive could be. She had to be at least 24 or 25, Neal thought as he looked back at_ _the expectant looks around the pool table._

_‘She thinks you’re cute. Come on, Danny, you don’t want to waste this unique opportunity, do you?’ one of the other men said as the group broke out in laughter._

_Neal swallowed hard; he’d been best friends with his right fist for so long, he wasn’t sure how to do anything else. The last thing he needed was to be teased by the men who’d become his pool pals; he took a decisive step towards the woman, watching as she smiled wickedly at him._

_‘Come on sweetheart’ she said lewdly as she grabbed him by the shirt collar and pulled him into the stockroom. ‘Lets go create some special memories.’_

WCWCWC

Elizabeth Burke glanced down at her watch, a nervous flutter apparent in her eyes.

‘He’ll be fine’ Sara said as she took a bite of her salad.

‘I don’t like to leave him alone for too long’ El replied as Sara scoffed.

‘El, he’s fine. You have to stop hovering – ‘

Elizabeth interrupted. ‘Like you’re not a _champion_ ‘hoverer’ yourself.I remember when Neal got shot – ‘

‘Fine, fine’ Sara blurted out. ‘We _both_ hover. But Peter’s doing great and he’s dying to get back to work.’

‘Well, he can complain all he wants, he’s not going back until the doctor gives him the green light’ Elizabeth said as she finally relaxed and took a sip of her Bellini.

The women didn’t do booze at lunch very often but they’d decided the last few weeks had been tough enough on both of them and they deserved to indulge.

‘When do you go back for another session?’ El asked, her eyes moving to Sara’s face.

‘Next Monday…’

‘Is it any better? The flashbacks?’

Sara took a deep breath before answering. ‘A little… it helps to keep busy’ she admitted.

Elizabeth nodded. ‘It must be nice to have Emily and Hope home’ she said.

‘You have no idea’ Sara answered, growing thoughtful. ‘You know, I want to believe things will get back to normal but… El, I’ve always taken care of myself, I’ve never felt vulnerable but… lying on that bed with my arms tied behind my back and having this… animal in my face…’

Sara stopped as her face grew dark and Elizabeth’s hand reached over to touch hers. ‘You might feel vulnerable but you’re forgetting you’re also resilient. You’ll bounce back.’

Sara seemed unconvinced; she listened as El continued. ‘It’s going to take some time and you’ll need to stick with the therapy but you’ll get there, in the end.’

Sara’s voice grew emotional as she finally spoke. ‘I know…’

Elizabeth grabbed the dessert menu on the table, giving it the once over.

‘Look, we’ve already broken our rule about booze at lunch, what do you say we go all the way and order this peanut butter, chocolate explosion thing?’ she asked, pointing to the menu.

‘I’m in’ Sara answered with a laugh.

WCWCWC

Neal had been to the Amica Retirement Home on four separate occasions over the past few months and with each visit, the sad memories of his very first time there had slowly begun to fade. At Sara’s urging, he’d given in to his mom’s request for a meeting in late spring – a visit which had been rife with recriminations as Neal had confronted her on her many shortcomings as a mother.

Once he’d been able to get that chip off his shoulder, Neal had discovered an unexpected yearning to reconnect with the woman who had given birth to him. He’d realized how she too had suffered, her life full of pain and disappointment. If he could bring her some semblance of comfort in the last few months of her life, he was more than willing to try.

He walked up to the woman at the reception desk whom he’d gotten to know over the past little while.

‘Hi Mr. Caffrey!’ she said with a smile. ‘Your mom is all set up in the dining room. She’s really excited about her trip.’

‘So am I’ Neal admitted with a bright smile.

‘Don’t forget to see the nurse before you leave. She’s got Mrs. Bennett’s meds and some instructions for travel.’

‘Will do’ Neal said as she headed down the hallway to find his mom. He spotted her immediately at her usual table by the window, staring out onto the garden and lost in thought. She looked so fragile, her body seemingly shrinking over time as illness continued its ravages on her frail body. He pasted a smile on his face.

‘Mom!’ he called out as she looked up.

TBC


	27. Chapter 27

Linda Bennett watched with interest as her son stood at the departure gate, deep in conversation with one of the airline agents. She saw him produce some document from his pocket and watched as the younger man nodded in understanding at whatever Neal had shown him.

She couldn’t believe how fortunate she was to have him back in her life – despite all the legitimate reasons he had for spurning her. She’d been a poor excuse of a mother while he was growing up, too wrapped up in her own pain and anguish to care for him the way he deserved to be cared for. He’d been a very active child – creative and impulsive – and she’d had no patience for him or his high jinks during his formative years. After Neal’s dad had been arrested, she’d lived in shame for what he’d done and even though they’d been relocated where no one knew them, the hurt and humiliation had lingered until she’d felt the need to suffocate it with booze and drugs without regard for the young boy she had brought into the world.

In the early years, all she could see when she looked into Neal’s eyes was his father’s betrayal echoing in those baby blues. It was just too painful and she’d searched for ways to make the pain go away. Looking back, she couldn’t believe how easily she’d fallen into drinking and eventually drugs – a seamless and foolish descent into madness. All that time, Neal had been on the periphery, doing his best to get along without a mom – or a dad.

When she’d gotten the news she had stomach cancer with a very poor prognosis and limited time to get her affairs in order, Linda had reached out to her son. Although she’d been under no illusion that they would reunite, she’d hoped he would find it in his heart to give her just a few minutes of his time so she could apologize for the unforgivable way in which she’d treated him. She’d been shocked that day, a few months back, when Sara Ellis had waltzed into the Amica Retirement Home on a reconnaissance mission – and even more surprised when, after an initial visit during which Neal had lashed out at her, he’d gotten in touch again, hoping to bridge the gap between them.

Neal turned and gave her a small wave, raising his index finger to let her know he’d be just a minute. She waved back and smiled broadly; she was so lucky to be visiting with him and his family for Thanksgiving. The nurse who saw to her care had warned against doing something so reckless; her health was extremely fragile and a plane trip followed by a few days of increased activity might be more than she could handle but Linda had been determined to accept Neal’s offer. She let out a deep sigh and let her eyes close for a moment; truth was, they hadn’t even left St. Louis and she was already exhausted.

‘We’re all set’ she heard as her eyes fluttered open. ‘Are you okay, Mom?’

‘I’m great. A little too excited, I’m afraid’ she admitted as Neal’s hand came to rest on her shoulder.

‘We’ve got advanced seating and if you’re up to it, we’ll just transfer you from your wheelchair into an aisle seat and they’ll store your chair until we get there’ Neal explained as he began to push her towards the gate.

‘And the oxygen?’

‘All set’ he said brightly.

‘Neal… I… I can’t thank you enough for making this trip a reality. It means so much to me’ she said, her voice small.

‘Mom, I’m the one who should be thanking you for making the effort. It means a lot to me and Sara to have you come to the house and visit with us… if you’re up to it, we can visit the gallery and the art school.’

‘Oh, I’ll be up for it, honey. Don’t worry’ she said, her voice suddenly strong.

WCWCWC

‘Why can’t we _all_ go?’ Caitlin whined as Sara and Hope prepared to leave for the airport.

‘I told you, honey, there’s not enough room in the car. Besides, I thought you had plans to take Emily to the gallery and show her your new sculpture’ Sara explained.

Caitlin shrugged; she didn’t want to miss out on anything – as usual.

‘Fine’ she muttered, defeated. ‘But I want to sit next to her at dinner.’

Sara laughed. ‘If it means that much to you… you can sit next to her at dinner.’

Caitlin’s face brightened at the outcome of the brief bargaining exchange. She’d never had grandparents and truth was, Linda Bennett was probably the closest thing she was ever going to get to having a grandmother.

‘Mom, can you drop me off at Cody’s on the way?’ Liam asked as he appeared at the bottom of the staircase.

‘I thought you were going to be here when your grandmother got here. You know how important it is to your dad that we all be here to welcome her’ Sara said.

‘I will. I just need to drop something off. I’ll bus it back and I promise I’ll be back by dinner time.’

‘You better, buddy!’ Sara said with mock harshness. 

She looked around at the houseful of people. ‘And it’s all hands on deck to get dinner on the table. Let’s show Grandma how the Caffreys do ‘welcome to New York!’

WCWCWC

Neal sat on the plane, holding his mother’s hand. She’d been nervous about the ascent and even though they’d been in the air for over thirty minutes, her hand was still firmly clasped in his, even as she slept. Neal allowed himself to scrutinize her face – it was a veritable testament to a difficult and painful life. The lines around her eyes were deep and her cheeks were hollow with soft, white hair framing her face.

Seeing her like this, so old and so fragile, Neal was overcome with feelings of remorse as he thought of all the time they’d lost. He was full of regret – regret for not having reached out to her earlier, regret for having shut her out for most of his life, regret for having chided her so brutally when he’d seen her again after all those years apart. Now that he was able to take a step back from his own pain, he better understood that she’d been incapable of dealing with the horrible hand life had dealt her. She, herself, had had a rough childhood, she’d lived with neglect in her younger years and had a dad who’d abused her both physically and mentally.After meeting the dashing James Bennett, she’d looked forward to a new life, only to have the rug pulled out from under her when he’d been arrested and thrown in the slammer, leaving her with a very active little boy who missed his dad – and reminded her of the man she’d loved every single day.

Neal watched his mom breathing with difficulty despite the cannula of oxygen that never left her any more. He hoped they still had some time left; they had so much to make up for and seemingly, so little time. He awkwardly reached for his phone with one hand, bringing up the text feature so he could let Sara know they were right on schedule.

He smiled as he noticed she had beaten him to it.

‘ _Excited about seeing your mom – and you’_ she’d written with a bunch of hearts and lips.

‘ _On time_ ’ he typed clumsily with one thumb. ‘ _Missing you_ ’

He _was_ missing Sara. He hated being away from her at the best of times but with everything going on, he wanted to be nearby in case she got upset or needed anything from him. His unresolved guilt at what had transpired was still gnawing away at him and he felt the need to watch over her as she continued to struggle with the aftermath of her ordeal.

‘Penny for your thoughts’ came Linda’s voice as Neal startled.

‘You look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders, sweetie’ she added as she squeezed his hand.

Neal let out a loud sigh. He hadn’t wanted to worry his mom but she was a smart lady; she’d figure out in no time that something was going on with Sara. It was probably best to give her a heads up.

‘Mom’ Neal began. ‘Something happened to Sara and I think it’s best if you hear it from me.’

WCWCWC

It became obvious the moment Neal brought his mom into the house that she was in no fit state to climb the stairs up to the master bedroom. At best, she could manage to take the few steps to and from her wheelchair but the stairs… well, they were just too much for her weak heart and feeble legs. Sara had done a great job setting up a sleeping area for her mother-in-law right in the family room, complete with fresh flowers, clean linen and some decorative pillows and Neal was thankful for his wife’s good old common sense and foresight.

He sat at the head of the table as the family assembled for Linda’s first meal in the Caffrey home. He could tell she was making superhuman efforts to stay alert. The trip had been excruciatingly difficult for her despite the fact that Neal had managed to get them a direct flight without the detour to Boston he’d had to endure on the way there. He’d noticed how she’d grown even _quieter_ after he’d given her the CliffsNotes version of what had happened to Sara – despite his reassurances that his wife was on the mend and was making daily progress on the road to recovery. Linda and Sara had bonded from the moment they’d met and Neal could see a warm, caring relationship developing between the two women. After losing her own mom at the tender age of 21, having a mother figure in her life seemed to bring out the best in Sara and she’d shown deference and respect for Linda which he’d never seen displayed in any of her other relationships.

The voices grew louder at the dinner table as Hope recounted how some girl in her studio elective class had tried to pass off a local artist’s sketch as one of her own, only to find out said artist was the nephew of the professor teaching the class. Neal watched with fondness as everyone roared with laughter, noting how Sara seemed to be right in the moment, her face relaxed as she grinned at the unlikely story.

‘So what mark did she get?’ Caitlin asked.

‘A big fat F’ Hope announced as Cameron laughed and looked on affectionately.

‘Well, I can beat that’ Sara said as everyone turned to look at her. ‘When I was in university, we had to write a paper on the most challenging situation we’d ever faced and a guy in my class plagiarized this girl’s paper without even bothering to read it first. Turns out, it was all about her abortion.’

Everyone groaned.

‘Ewww’ Caitlin cried out. ‘Poor guy.’

‘Poor guy?’ Liam chimed in. ‘Serves him right for trying to cheat.’

Seeing everyone together, laughing and having such a good time, was tugging at Neal’s heartstrings and Sara stole a look in his direction, noticing his bottom lip quivering as he smiled – an emotional tell she’d figured out years ago.

‘Honey’ she said, ‘would you mind giving me a hand with dessert?’

Neal cleared his throat before speaking. ‘Sure’ he said as he grabbed some of the empty plates and headed into the kitchen on Sara’s heels.

She stood by the kitchen island as he gave her a perplexed look, having finally gotten control of his emotions.

‘What?’ he asked as Sara’s eyes lingered on his face.

‘You, that’s what. I can see how happy you are that she’s here’ she said with a warm smile on her lips.

Neal scoffed, trying to make light of it before coming clean. ‘Yeah, I’m really happy’ he admitted as he smiled brightly.

‘I can tell she’s thrilled to be here, too’ Sara added as she stepped in nice and close to Neal.

‘I guess I’m… I’m feeling pretty lucky’ he admitted. ‘You know, when I was rotting in jail, thinking about getting out just so I could go back to the life… it never crossed my mind that I could ever have a family, people who’d care for me and that I could care for.’

He brought his hand to Sara’s face, his thumb gently rubbing her cheek. ‘I’m just worried about _you_ , that’s all.’

‘Don’t! Neal, we’re _both_ so lucky. We have a great life’ she whispered, her voice faltering. ‘And I promise you… I’m going to get better.’

Neal’s emotions bubbled back to the surface upon hearing Sara’s reassuring words. He pulled her in and held her against him, suddenly wishing he could hold her like that forever.

TBC


	28. Chapter 28

Sara wandered back to the family room with a glass of water in her hands and placed it on the small table she’d set up by the hide-a-bed.

‘Now, if you need anything at all during the night, I want you to ring this little bell and we’ll come right down, okay?’ she said to her mother-in-law as the older woman sat up in bed.

‘I’ll be fine’ Linda said, her eyes drooping.

Sara reached out to take her hand, squeezing it gently and noting how frail and delicate it was. ‘You know, Neal is over the moon about you being here but don’t let him run you ragged.’

‘I can assure you, there is nowhere in the world I would rather be’ said Linda with a tired smile. ‘And I can’t wait to see your beautiful gallery… and the art school, too.’

The women sat in silence for a moment, just holding hands.

‘You have a lovely home, Sara. Neal is very lucky to have you in his life.’

‘I don’t know about that… These days, I feel like I’m the lucky one.’

Linda’s face grew serious. ‘Neal _did_ mention what happened. I’m so sorry.’

Sara shrugged and fought the tears that were threatening to fall. ‘He’s been amazing through all this… but… it’s going to take a while for things to get back to normal.’

‘He loves you so much and he worries about you’ said Linda. ‘But most of all, he wants to be there for you. I can see his face light up at the very mention of your name.’

Sara smiled as a tear escaped and landed on her cheek. ‘Well, I feel the same way about him. He’s a wonderful husband and an amazing father.’

‘It’s great to see him with the kids. They’re wonderful. Hope and Cameron seem to be very happy together – I can see he makes her laugh.’

‘Yeah, well, they’ve just reconnected after a bit of a break. It’s not easy to be apart when you’re in love’ Sara mused.

‘And Liam’s such a sweet boy. From what I can see, you and Neal have a lot to be proud of’ Linda said.

Sara could see the older woman fading fast and she squeezed her hand as she stood to leave.

‘Please Linda, don’t take any chances. If you need to get up in the night to go to the washroom, ring that bell and one of us will come down, all right?’

‘Thanks’ said the elderly woman, her voice dwindling to barely a whisper. ‘See you in the morning.’

Sara leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on the woman’s forehead before retreating. What she didn’t see was the smile that lit up Linda Bennett’s face as she nodded off to sleep.

WCWCW

Sara found Neal changing the lightbulb in the bedside lamp when she made it up to their bedroom, dragging her feet listlessly after such a long day.

‘Congratulations!’ he said with gusto. ‘ _You_ have graduated to a 15 watt bulb!’

Sara laughed at the silliness of the whole thing – although she had to admit, Marion’s strategy seemed to be working.

‘Thanks’ she said as she began to change out of her clothes and into a t-shirt she’d found laying on the nearby chair.

She slipped in between the sheets and found Neal’s open arms, feeling the welcome comfort of his warm body.

‘How’s my mom?’ he whispered into her hair.

‘She’s fine. I just hope she doesn’t try to get up in the night to use the washroom on her own.’

‘Well, she’s pretty independent – and pig-headed – not that _you_ would know anything about that…’ he answered with a chuckle. ‘She was a real trooper today. I could tell she was running on fumes by the time we finally landed.’

‘She’s amazing Neal – and she’s _so_ happy to be here. Just don’t push her too hard while she’s here, give her plenty of time to rest.’

‘I will…’ Neal said although he was more than eager to show his mom every single part of their lives.

‘You did good, honey’ Sara whispered as Neal stared back, confused. ‘I didn’t think she had the energy to come to New York but if you’d seen her face just now… she’s just thrilled to be here with you… with all of us.’

He smiled contentedly. ‘I can’t believe we’re all under the same roof, the kids, my mom, your sister…’

After spending his early life virtually on his own, Neal was thrilled to be surrounded by family, the people who meant the most to him.

Sara let out a sigh. ‘And we’ve got a bunch more people coming on Thursday and only one day left to prepare.’

‘Awww, piece of cake’ Neal said in his usual glass half-full kind of way. ‘Oh, did I mention that I invited the Millers – they were going to be on their own’ he added, referring to Cody’s parents.

‘Neal! Stop it! Where are we going to put all these people?’ Sara whined as he jostled her.

‘Come on, honey… there’s always room for one or two more’ he said with a grin.

He lay in bed, totally content, with Sara in his arms. She was looking more like her old self, relaxed and happy but he knew all too well that she was still fragile and that she could come undone at a moment’s notice. His eyes moved to her mouth and he suddenly felt an almost irresistible urge to kiss her. He could feel his desire growing in the pit of his stomach and he let out a slow breath, reminding himself that he needed to give her all the space she needed so that she wouldn’t feel any pressure.

Sara seemed to read his mind and she leaned in, kissing him softly at first as her tongue sought entrance into his mouth – passage that was willingly granted. Neal tried to still his mind and let her take the lead, resisting the urge to move his hands down her body and pull her in close against him. Sara turned her body to face him, lying halfway on top of him as her lips continued to move against his, the kiss intensifying.

‘Sara…’ he moaned, trying to keep himself in check. ‘You sure about this?’

‘Shhhh’ she murmured as she kept kissing him, her lips moving down to his neck and chest. ‘Shut up and put your arms around me, Caffrey.’

He tentatively brought his hands to rest on her hips, feeling her body pressing against his growing erection and he willed himself to keep things under control, resisting the urge to rut up against her leg. It was way too early to think about having sex and he had to be prepared that she might stop the proceedings at any moment.

Her mouth continued on its quest, returning to his lips with a probing kiss, lingering for a few moments as he felt his body respond to his wife’s insistent mouth and roaming hands. He let out a groan of pleasure and within the blink of an eye, she pulled away and locked eyes with him, her breathing accelerating. He could see that the uncertain look in her eyes and her laboured breathing were due to something other than the heat of the moment and he pulled back.

‘I’m sorry… I can’t’ she cried as she reluctantly pulled away. ‘I really _want_ to…’

‘Don’t!’ Neal said instinctively. ‘Honey, you have nothing, _nothing_ to apologize for. Do you hear me?’

‘But…I’ve got you all worked up’ she began as she pointed to Neal’s tented sleep pants.

He laughed sardonically. ‘That? Don’t worry about _that_ ; it can be taken care of in… other ways, if need be.’

His face turned serious and he brought his hand to her face letting it linger on her cheek as he took in the sadness and anguish in her eyes.

‘Honey, I want this too, believe me… and it’ll happen when you’re ready. But I don’t want you like this… I don’t want you pushing yourself beyond what you’re comfortable with. I _love_ you.’

She nodded, eyes filling with tears as she fell back into his arms.

‘That was a really nice kiss, by the way’ he whispered, his voice full of mischief.

She laughed, realizing they were like teenagers, getting to know each other’s bodies all over again. More than anything, she wanted to feel Neal’s hard body against hers, the soft feel of his lips on her skin, the sweet sensation of his hands on her… but it was all just _too_ overwhelming.

‘You’re doing great Repo. Baby steps, remember’ Neal murmured, resigning himself to the fact that this was as far as things were going to go. At least for now.

He could wait… as long as it took. When the time came and Sara was ready, he’d be there to take her _wherever_ she wanted to go.

WCWCWC

Wednesday was a crazy day as Neal put everyone to work on the party preparations. Emily and Hope were sent out to run errands, Caitlin and Liam were put on Hoover duty, Sara began her job as sous-chef and Neal started to work his magic in the kitchen as Linda sat back and enjoyed the show.

Thanksgiving was always special in the Caffrey household and although for years, Neal and Sara had spent the holiday at the Burkes, the last few years, their home had become the venue of choice, the place where everyone congregated.

‘We’re going to have to set the tables in the kitchen _and_ the dining room’ Sara said as she chopped up some onions and celery.

‘No kidding’ Neal replied as he moved from one burner to the other, wonderful scents emanating from the stove where he’d begun to cook a large turkey and a leg of lamb.

‘I’m counting 15 – is that right?’ she asked as she mentally went over the list of guests.

‘Hum. Let’s see. We’ve got the four of us, Cam and Cody, Emily, Mozzie, Peter and Elizabeth, Lydia, Sam and Bea, the Millers…’

‘And me!’ piped up Linda Bennett from her place on the sofa.

‘Of course, the guest of honour!’ Neal said with gusto. ‘So that’s 16, not 15’ he announced.

‘Grandma? Are you done with this?’ Liam asked as he pointed to a half filled cup of tea which sat on the side table.

‘I am sweetie. Thank you’ she replied. ‘Look, if you want to set me up at the table, I can help with some chopping – I’m a really mean chopper…’

‘Not gonna happen, Mom’ Neal called out from the nearby kitchen as Sara gave him a sideways look. ‘I want you in tip top shape for tomorrow’s dinner and… on Friday, if you’re up to it, I’m taking you to the gallery.’

Sara couldn’t help but notice Linda’s eyes sparkle at the thought.

‘Grandma… can I call you ‘grandma’?’ Caitlin asked as she took the spot next to Linda on the couch.

‘Of course you can, sweetheart’ Linda answered as Neal glanced over, curious.

‘If you come to the gallery, I’ll show you my latest sculpture’ the teen said, her voice excited. ‘Mr. C. gave me some space on the second floor where he and Hope display their stuff.’

‘I would _love_ to see that’ Linda said enthusiastically. ‘Neal tells me you’re a _very_ talented artist.’

Caitlin blushed as she looked towards her foster dad who was doing his best to pretend not to listen.

‘Mr. C. lets me help at the school with the younger kids. I really like it’ she volunteered as Linda listened intently.

‘I think working with children is one of the most gratifying jobs you can have’ Linda said as Neal’s ears perked up. ‘You know, we have a daycare at the retirement home and we get to spend time with the children. I get to read to them every week.’

‘Cool!’ Caitlin enthused. ‘Wait until you meet little Beatrice. She’s Sara and Mr. C.’s goddaughter. She is soooo cute.’

Neal exchanged glances with Sara as they both smiled. It seemed like they were witnessing the coming together of a couple of kindred spirits.

‘I can’t wait’ Linda said as Caitlin beamed by her side.

TBC 


	29. Chapter 29

Sara sat in Marion Birch’s office, wringing her hands and tapping her foot as she waited for the therapist to arrive. She had snuck away from the craziness at home and called to ask if Marion had any last minute cancellations, relieved to hear she could fit her in at 2:00.The fact that she’d downright lied to Neal about where she was going niggled at her but Sara knew that if she didn’t talk to someone, she was going to explode.

The door opened and in waltzed Marion, dressed casually in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.

‘Oh no!’ Sara said. ‘Was it your day off?’

‘I always take a few days around Thanksgiving to be with my kids but don’t worry about it. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to. Besides, you sounded really upset over the phone.’

Sara’s shoulders drooped. The incident in bed the night before had been haunting her ever since it happened. Neal wasn’t the bad guy and yet, he seemed to be the one on the receiving end of Sara’s changing moods and her inability to move on.

‘Has something happened to upset you?’ Marion asked as she took the seat across from her patient and poured them each a glass of water.

Despite her best intentions, Sara began to cry. To her chagrin, something about being in this safe, protected environment with an attentive ear seemed to bring down her defences.

‘The thing is I’m feeling better, overall. I’m not getting as many flashbacks as before and I’m actually enjoying being around people again. We’ve got company for the holidays and Neal is so happy…’

Marion waited for the other shoe to drop.

‘… but I can’t keep doing this to him’ Sara blurted out.

‘What is it you think you’re doing to Neal?’

Sara sniffled. ’Leading him on’ she murmured.

‘Leading him on? _How_ are you leading him on?’

‘Last night, we were lying in bed and everything was perfect… It felt so good, Neal’s arms were around me… I felt safe and secure… and loved and I wanted him so much… I wanted him to make love to me.’

Marion leaned in, her attention focussed on what Sara was saying.

‘I kissed him and I thought, like you said, as long as I felt in control, it was all good. It felt amazing and I _wanted_ him… I wanted him _so_ badly… I could feel him, you know, getting into it and… It was all _so_ familiar and _so_ right…’

Sara hesitated for a moment before continuing. ‘And then, things started escalating and Neal made this groaning sound that…’

Sara’s sobbing became louder and she stopped talking momentarily in order to catch her breath.

‘…he _groaned_ like he always does when… when he’s getting turned on and it turns _me_ on when I hear him like that… but all of a sudden, it was _him_ … my attacker… and I remembered how he made that disgusting noise while he stood over me, jerking off like… like some sick, twisted animal. And even though this was Neal, my wonderful, loving husband… when he groaned like that… I just… I just couldn’t get that… man out of my head and I panicked and… I pulled away.’

Marion listened, letting Sara get everything off her chest. The sobbing seemed to intensify and she slid the box of tissues towards her as she waited for her to collect herself.

‘I can’t keep doing this to him…’ Sara finally said.

‘Was he upset about what happened?’ Marion asked, leaning in.

‘No, that’s just it… he’s so loving and supportive and I keep leaving him high and dry… he doesn’t deserve that.’

‘By high and dry, you mean you’re concerned that Neal was turned on and couldn’t act on his sexual urges?’

Sara nodded and sniffled. She became restless and stood, pacing in the small office and coming to a sudden stop in front of her therapist, arms flailing in defeat.

‘I want this to be over’ she sobbed as she took her fists and began to thump on both sides of her head. ‘I want this… these memories OUT of my head!’

Marion swallowed hard. It was always difficult to watch patients struggling to come to terms with traumatic experiences, especially sexual assaults. She stood and took Sara’s arm gently, guiding her back to sit on the armchair before returning to her own spot.

‘Sara, what is it exactly you’re afraid of where Neal is concerned? Do you think Neal will stop loving you if you don’t put out?’ she asked.

Sara shrugged.

‘Do you think your husband is with you just for the sex and that he’ll lose interest if he can’t get his rocks off? Or that he can’t control his sexual impulses if he needs to?’

Sara stared back, shocked at what Marion was saying.

‘No, of course not but… it’s not right. I can’t keep _toying_ with him.’

Marion thought back to her session with Neal the previous week. He’d confided in her about the rough time he’d had the previous year, how he’d lost the use of his legs for a few months as he recovered from a gunshot wound and how Sara had stood by him through a very difficult few months. Although she couldn’t come right out and share the particulars of what Neal had told her, she could certainly ask some leading questions.

‘You and Neal have been married for almost twenty years, right?’ she asked as Sara nodded.

‘Have there been times when you’ve had to put your sexual needs on hold temporarily because _Neal_ was going through a rough time.’

‘Of course, but…’ Sara began, unable to finish.

‘Why would it be any different now that you need him to be patient with you?’

‘I don’t know…’ Sara admitted, uncomfortable about the direction the conversation was headed. She was there to wallow and feel sorry for herself and Marion was calling her out on her flawed perceptions of what Neal might be thinking and feeling.

‘Have you talked to Neal about your fears, about how you feel?’ the therapist asked.

‘Not exactly. He’s… his mom is visiting and they’ve been estranged for a long time and he’s… so happy now that she’s here. And it’s Thanksgiving tomorrow and he’s buzzing around the house, getting everything ready like he _always_ does…’

A small smile passed her lips as she imagined Neal in the kitchen, barking orders and making sure everybody else was taken care of.

‘And lately, I’ve been feeling like this…this useless waste of space who can’t even get through the day without falling apart.’

‘I’m pretty sure Neal doesn’t see you that way but why don’t you ask him? Or we can talk about it when you’re in for your joint session next Monday’ Marion suggested.

There was silence in the room for a moment while Sara’s breathing began to return to normal and she reflected on what Marion had just said.

‘You know, when I talk to Neal…’ Marion said, ‘…I see a man who’s heartbroken that the woman he loves is going through a horrendous time. All he wants is for you to start feeling better and he’s ready to do whatever he can to help. Sometimes, that might mean listening to you or taking care of you in some other way… or putting off resuming your sex life for the foreseeable future. You need to let him do that and not worry so much that your behaviour might be disappointing him in some way – because I’m pretty sure from what’s he’s said that that’s not the case.’

Sara just stared ahead, nodding.

‘Are you sleeping any better? Do you want to start taking those meds the doctor prescribed?’ Marion asked.

‘No. I don’t like feeling groggy and I _am_ sleeping better. I’m down to a 15W bulb and I’m not feeling as nervous in bed’ Sara admitted.

‘Sara, that sounds like wonderful progress, don’t you think? We’re going to keep chipping away at this and it’ll take some time but you’ll see, things will keep getting better. Let Neal help you, let him be the supportive husband he is. Believe me, he needs that as much as you do.’

WCWCWC

By the time Sara returned from _dealing with the emergency at the office,_ the house was buzzing with a lively discussion regarding what kind of pizza they were going to order for dinner. She’d done her best to pull herself together, reapplying her makeup in the small washroom in Marion Birch’s office before heading back and making a quick detour to the local market to pick up the asparagus Hope and Emily had forgotten to get that morning.

‘Pineapple has no place on a pizza’ Emily declared as Sara stepped into the house. ‘It’s a sacrilege!’

‘What are you talking about, Aunt Em?’ Liam answered. ‘Pineapple is amazing on pizza!’

‘I told you, it’s disgusting’ Caitlin added as Sara came into view.

The whole gang stopped talking and all eyes turned to greet her as Neal stood to welcome her home.

‘So, crisis averted at the office?’ he asked as he frowned, noticing the puffiness under her eyes.

‘Yes!’ Sara said with conviction. ‘Sorry about that.’

She gave him a quick peck on the cheek and handed over the bag she was holding. ‘I got that asparagus you wanted.’

Neal took the bag and headed to the kitchen and Sara could tell by the look in his eyes that he wasn’t buying any of it. She was busted.

‘Well, _I_ happen to agree with Liam’ Sara chimed in as she took a spot on the couch between Hope and Emily. ‘I _love_ pineapple on my pizza, especially with green peppers.’

‘Ugh! Gross!’ Caitlin yelled, in disgust as everyone laughed.

Neal watched with interest from the kitchen. Despite the warm glow he was feeling at having his family around him, he couldn’t help but notice that dark, pesky cloud reappearing on the horizon.

WCWCWC

The extended Caffrey family, including Mozzie – who had magically appeared just as the pizza delivery guy had arrived – began to disperse as the near empty pizza boxes began to accumulate on the kitchen table. Hope and Cam had left to stay at Cam’s place for the night, promising to be back the next day to help prepare for the company while Emily and Linda sat in the living room at the front of the house, chatting as they sipped their after dinner tea.

Raffie had overindulged on the pizza scraps and began to whine as he paced back and forth between the kitchen and the front door, more than ready to be let out. Neal pointed to the dog as he started the kitchen clean-up.

‘Who’s up for taking Raffie for a walk?’ he asked as he looked straight at Liam and Mozzie.

‘We’ll do it’ Mozzie offered as Liam whined. ‘Let’s go buddy!’

Raffie let out a grateful bark as he ran to the front door and sat on his haunches, waiting patiently, eyes fixed on his leash which hung nearby, begging to be taken off the hook.

Sara returned from the living room and proceeded to rummage through the kitchen cupboard on the hunt for plastic containers to put away the leftover pizza – mostly the pineapple, pepper one. Neal gave his wife a furtive glance as he stood over the open dishwasher, rinsing the last of the dinner plates.

‘So, are you going to tell me where you _really_ went this afternoon.’

Sara knew there was no use in pretending; Neal always knew when she wasn’t being straight with him. It was a question of _when_ she told him about her little off-track detour to New Rochelle, not _if_ – and this seemed like as good a time as any.

‘I went to see Marion’ she admitted as Neal’s eyes grew in response.

‘Marion? Why? What’s wrong? Did something happen?’

‘I needed to talk to someone about what happened last night’ Sara said meekly as she continued wrapping up the leftovers, eyes cast downward.

Neal glanced in her direction, puzzled. ‘Last night?’

‘You know… in bed.’

‘What do you mean?’ he said as stood to face her, eyes searching hers and not letting her get away with anything.

‘I feel like… like I’ve been leading you on.’

‘What?’ He had no idea what she was referring to.

‘I keep thinking I’m ready to move on and then I slam on the brakes and leave you hanging.’ she finally admitted as Neal let out a frustrated sigh.

‘Sara! We’ve been through this already. I’m not some… some dog in heat who can’t control himself’ he hissed, somewhat angry at the fact that she couldn’t give him more credit.

She could feel the emotion rising in her throat. ‘Maybe I should… just keep my hands off you altogether until I work everything out.’

The look of frustration on Neal’s face turned glum at the thought. ‘Honey, please don’t do that. Just tell me, is it something I said? Something I did.’

She looked away, unsure how much she wanted to share with him. She didn’t want him feeling self-conscious or guarded about every little thing he did when he was with her, especially in bed.

‘Sometimes…’ she began, her eyes far away. ‘There’ll be a touch or a sound and… it’ll just bring me right back to that moment and… I feel like crap, Neal. This is _so_ not about you… I love you so much.’

‘I know you do and I’m trying to understand but babe, you can’t hold out on me… please’ he begged as he reached out and took her hand in his. ‘If I do anything that upsets you, we have to talk about it or else, I’m not going to know and… we’ll never get through this.’

Sara’s eyes filled with tears and she stood, transfixed, her body shaking as she stood in front of poor Neal who was struggling with what to do next.

‘Sara, what happened to you… it’s like it happened to me too. I’m angry, I’m _so_ angry and I’m worried and I’m scared and… I can’t stand seeing you suffering like this. I want to make it all go away but I don’t know how. I just… it feels like I’m only making it worse, somehow.’

‘No, you’re not!’ she said without hesitation. ‘You have no idea… every time you take me in your arms, every time you talk to me like this, your voice so soft and soothing… it’s… it’s _exactly_ what I need. _You’re_ exactly what I need but… I’m afraid you’re going to give up on me and I’ll be like this forever.’

He sighed and reached for her. ’First off, I’m _never_ gonna give up on you but we have to keep fighting. Together. You and me. Please… promise me you won’t give up.’

She nodded as the unshed tears started streaming down her cheeks – the unending stream of tears which seemed to be all too commonplace these days.

Why was this so damn hard?

TBC


	30. Chapter 30

The relentless pounding of the cold November rain against the metal roof woke Hope from a deep sleep. It had taken her a long time to finally drift off and she was deep in the throes of a wonderful dream that involved Cam, some suntan lotion and a cute cabana boy.

She turned to find her boyfriend stretched out on the bed, all six foot three of him spread out with barely enough room left for her to curl up in. She thought ahead to the future and, surprisingly, instead of the apprehension she’d felt just a few weeks back, the idea of waking up next to this man for the next fifty years was not without its appeal. He was sweet and attentive – not unlike her father in many ways – and she felt loved and safe when he was around. She wondered if she would always feel those butterflies in her stomach when he walked into the room and she was reminded of that goofy look her mom still got whenever her dad was around.

She smiled at the thought and suddenly Cameron was turning towards her, mumbling something unintelligible as he grabbed for her in his sleep.

She thought about the day ahead, a day of celebration in the Caffrey home with her newfound grandmother, her loving godparents, her uncle Mozzie and their many friends and extended family. She loved the holidays in White Plains, the feeling of warmth that permeated her childhood home as Christmas drew nearer and those amazing smells emanating from the kitchen, compliments of her dad. 

Cam let out a snort and Hope was brought back to the here and now. She had a very unnerving task to carry out, something she’d been putting off for a couple of days and she really wanted to get it done before he woke up. She slipped out from under his outstretched arm and reached for the pregnancy test she’d carefully hidden in her overnight bag. Her period was barely two days late but she had a nagging feeling that they hadn’t been one hundred percent safe when they’d reunited the previous month. 

With any luck, it was just a false alarm and she could put this behind her and carry on with her life without Cam being the wiser. She tiptoed into the bathroom, stopping to turn up the heat in the small apartment and sat herself down on the toilet as she squinted to read the instructions.It was simple enough: take stick out of foil wrap, pee on said stick for five seconds, watch the tip turn pink, hold your breath for three minutes, hope to hell you didn’t get a plus sign.   
  
She pulled down her panties and positioned the stick between her legs, listening to the tinkling noise as it mingled with the sound of the rain outside the bathroom window. A baby would be a disaster at this point in their lives. She was one semester into a four-year university program and she wasn’t even twenty years old yet. Cameron’s situation wasn’t much better; barely twenty-three and making a modest salary at the gallery while he struggled with graduate studies part-time. She thought of her parents and how her mom had gotten pregnant by accident when their relationship had not been much more than casual. Of course, her mom had been in her early thirties and her dad five years older, although according to her uncle Peter, he’d had the maturity and impulse control of a four-year-old at the time.

Still, an unplanned pregnancy was _not_ what she had in mind when she’d reunited with Cameron Armstrong after a few months apart. To be honest, she’d never given much more than a passing thought to _having_ kids although she loved spending time with little Beatrice Jordan and she’d thoroughly enjoyed teaching the little guys at the gallery and the school of art. An unbidden image flashed in front her eyes – the image of a Caffrey-Armstrong offspring with Cam’s tall, lanky frame and warm smile and her unruly, thick hair and clear blue eyes.

She was completely engrossed in her outlandish thoughts when she caught some movement out of the corner of her eye.

‘Hey, what’s going on?’ Cam asked sleepily as he propped himself up against the door jamb in the bathroom.

WCWCWC

‘You awake?’ Neal asked as he turned in bed to face Sara.

‘Mmmmm’ came the replay and he started to laugh.

‘Come on, sleepy head! Wake up! We’ve got a houseful of people coming over for dinner tonight and there’s still lots to do to get ready’ he said as he gently poked her.

‘Noooo!’ Sara moaned as she grabbed for her pillow and covered her face.

‘It’s going to be great!’ Neal enthused, thinking ahead to the houseful of friends and family who would be there in just a few hours. ‘I can’t wait for my mom to meet everyone, especially Bibi.’

Sara peeked out from under her pillow and smiled despite herself. Their goddaughter _was_ awfully cute and now that she was talking a mile a minute, it was always a hoot having her around.

The half closed door to their bedroom suddenly flew open and in waltzed Raffie, lunging for the bed and landing firmly between Neal and Sara.

‘Raffie! Off!’ Neal shouted as the dog settled in between them and started licking Sara’s face.

‘Awww…. Raffiiiiie!’ she cooed as Neal rolled his eyes at the unseemly – and unsanitary – display of affection.

‘I never get a reaction like that when _I_ lick your face’ he teased as Sara cuddled with the dog.

‘Off!’ he repeated as Raffie proceeded to totally ignore him. ‘That’s it, there’s too much testosterone on this bed. You win!’

He sat up on the edge of the bed, letting his feet touch the cool floor.

‘Oh, honey, don’t be like that’ Sara said as she continued to scratch behind Raffie’s ears. ‘He’s just so cuddly… aren’t you cuddly, Raffie?’ she said as she held the dog’s face in her hands and kissed the tip of his wet snout.

Neal frowned at the sight. ‘I’m going to leave you two lovebirds alone and go put on some coffee and check on my mom’ he said as he grabbed for a t-shirt on the chair by the bed.

‘You do that’ Sara mewled as she continued fawning over the dog.

Neal made his way out into the hallway, noticing both Caitlin and Liam’s bedroom doors were closed. He couldn’t hear any noise above his head; Emily was probably still asleep too. His mom, he knew, was an early riser and he headed down to check on her, hoping she would give him more attention that his wife seemed willing to give him.

‘Good morning, dear’ he heard as he stepped off the staircase and found his way to the kitchen.

‘Mom! You’re up already’ he said in greeting as he walked over and placed a kiss on Linda’s forehead.

‘Big day today’ she said, rising unsteadily and grabbing her nearby walker for support.

‘Sit, sit’ Neal urged as she took a few tentative steps towards the kitchen.

‘Oh Neal! It seems all I do is sit’ she answered. ‘I need to move around a little.’

He followed her over to the kitchen table where she took a seat and watched him reach for the coffee in the refrigerator and proceed to fill the coffee pot with water.

‘So, you’re not too tired from all the excitement?’ he asked, concerned that he might be asking too much of her by having her there.

‘I’m fine’ she lied. Truth was she was exhausted but she was having the time of her life.

‘That hide-a-bed is surprisingly comfortable’ she added with a smile.

‘It _is_ actually’ Neal agreed.‘After the shooting last year, I couldn’t climb the stairs up to our room so Sara and I spent a few weeks sleeping down here.’

‘You two have had it rough lately’ Linda said. ‘How’s Sara doing? Really?’

Neal let out a sigh and took the seat next to his mom. ‘Sometimes, it’s… like nothing ever happened. She laughs and she looks like her old self. But then… well, it’s going to take a while and we both need to learn to be a little more patient.’

Linda nodded and smiled. ‘Anyone can see how devoted you two are to each other. I know you’ll find a way to get through this.’

Neal seemed suddenly reflective. ‘We’re lucky, we have each other, the kids…’

‘Caitlin seems like quite the handful’ Linda remarked with a chuckle. She’d taken a shine to the young girl despite her antics and her sometimes overbearing attitude. ‘Does she remind you of anyone?’

Neal laughed and stood to grab a couple of coffee mugs. ‘The comparison _has_ been made… by a few people.’

Linda grew quiet. Here was her son who’d had a rough childhood and yet, had been generous enough to open up his home and his heart to the young girl.

‘You are an amazing man, Neal Caffrey’ she said, her voice full of regret. ‘I wish I’d had the strength to give you what _you_ needed when you were her age.’

Neal placed his hand on his mom’s. ‘Come on, Mom. We agreed, no regrets. Let’s spend the time we have left getting to know each other and not blaming one another for the things we can’t change.’

Linda nodded grudgingly. Her remorse ran deep and she knew that, even if she lived to be a thousand years old, she would never be able to make up for the neglect she’d inflicted on her son or to forgive herself for her shortcomings as a mother.

‘Grandma!’ they heard as Caitlin came traipsing into the room, barefoot in her pyjamas, her blond hair disheveled and wild. ‘You’re up!’

WCWCWC

Cameron studied Hope’s face as they sat across from each other at the small kitchen table in his apartment. She hadn’t stopped smiling since she’d spied the small minus sign on the pee stick and yet he couldn’t help but feel unexpected disappointment at the outcome.

‘You know, we would have found a way to make it work’ he commented as Hope looked up in surprise.

‘You’re kidding, right?’ she replied with a look of relief on her face.

‘No… I mean it. Look at your parents – it happened to them and look at how wonderful _that_ turned out’ he said with what Hope realized was a trace of regret.

‘Cam, you can't be serious. You cannot possibly compare us to my parents’ she argued.

Cameron appeared hurt by what she’d just said and Hope felt the need to clarify. ‘Look, for one thing, my parents were much older than we are and my mom had a good paying job at the time.’

He shrugged, unconvinced. ‘I just don’t think we can control these things – and they happen for a reason.’

‘Well, it _didn’t_ happen this time, thank God. Look, we’re going to have to be more careful, that’s all’ she reminded him.

There was an awkward silence for a moment and finally Cameron looked up, his face serious.

‘Do you ever think about it?’ he asked as Hope stared back, perplexed.

‘Us… long term. Getting married, having babies?’ he added, his voice quiet.

‘Do you?’ Hope asked.

‘Yeah… all the time’ he admitted as she smiled sweetly at him.

‘Oh, Cam’ she said as she took his hand in hers. ‘I’m not ruling it out… eventually. But we’ve got a long way to go before we can even _start_ talking about stuff like that. I need to finish school and you’re still taking graduate classes. And I’m not sure we could raise a kid on what my dad pays you to run the gallery.’

‘I’m sure we’d find a way’ Cam said as he gently touched Hope’s face.

‘Cam… I love you, I do.’ Hope said as she leaned in to kiss his mouth. ‘Why don’t we take things one day at a time, huh?’

He smiled back and kissed her once again. He had just figured out the meaning of the word bittersweet.

TBC


	31. Chapter 31

By four o’clock, the tables were set, the appetizers were plated and the guests had slowly begun to trickle into the Caffrey home. Peter and Elizabeth had arrived early so El could give Neal a hand with making homemade ice cream to accompany the pecan pie she’d prepared for dessert.

True to their word, Hope and Cameron had come by early in the afternoon to lend a hand. Sara had managed to bite her tongue as she’d observed the interactions between her daughter and her boyfriend – something was definitely up between those two although a thorough investigation would have to wait until later, after dinner. 

Before long, Lydia and Sam Jordan arrived with little Bea in tow. Neal watched fondly from a distance as the toddler ran straight into her godmother’s arms, noting the glow on his wife’s face – this was just what Sara needed, an armful of love and laughter.

The Millers were next to arrive and Cody immediately retreated to the family room to join Liam who was engaged in a hard fought battle of _Super Smash Brothers_ with his uncle Mozzie.

The loud buzz of multiple, simultaneous conversations echoed through the house. It was absolute and utter chaos – and yet Neal couldn’t have been happier. He and Sara greeted guests, offering drinks and directing everyone to the appetizers which had been laid out on the dining room table. Everyone began to disperse throughout the house as they indulged in long awaited reunions or rejoiced in making new acquaintances.

Neal had set Linda up in the living room where she could be in the middle of the action and Caitlin had been put to work as her lady in waiting, making sure she didn’t want for anything during the evening, something the teen was more than happy to do considering her blossoming affection for her new nanna. With each new arrival, Neal proudly introduced his mom and watched with pride as she beamed in return.

Peter seemed to be on the mend although, as far as he was concerned, it was taking entirely too long for him to get back on his feet. He was itching to get back to work and he sat in the kitchen interrogating Neal about what had been going on at the gallery during his absence.

‘The doctor says I can come back to work part-time next week’ he declared as Neal hovered over the stove, stirring three pots simultaneously.

‘Oh yeah? And what does Dr. El say about that?’ Neal asked.

‘To be honest, I think she’ll be glad to see the back of me. She can’t wait for me to get out of the house’ Peter admitted as Beatrice suddenly darted into the kitchen and made a beeline for her godfather’s legs, almost bowling him over with the force of her hug.

‘Uncle Neeeeal!’ she shrieked, latching onto his pant leg.

‘Hey, Bibi’ Neal called out as he leaned down and lifted her up into his arms. He placed a kiss on her plump, pink cheek and tickled her as he spoke. ‘What are you up to, huh?’

The child giggled madly and pointed to something on the stove. ‘What’s that?’

‘Those are potatoes for later’ Neal explained as he balanced her on his hip. ‘Did you see the toys I put out for you in the living room?’

‘Toys?’ she repeated, suddenly eager to worm out of his arms.

‘Here Dad, I’ll take her’ Hope offered as she walked over and took the squirming child from her dad’s arms.

‘Come on Bea, let’s go see what Uncle Neal got for you’ she said, her voice excited.

‘Did you want another beer Mr. Burke?’ Cameron asked as he appeared out of nowhere and headed towards the fridge.

‘Thanks Cam, that’d be great’ Peter answered. ‘So, did that Morton exhibit come in on time.’

‘Yup!’ Cameron answered. ‘Set it up last week, already sold two pieces.’

‘That’s great!’ Peter replied as Sam Jordan appeared holding an empty glass.

‘Did I hear the word beer?’ he asked as he walked in with Mike Miller following close behind.

The men settled around the kitchen table while Neal continued to work his magic around the stove.

‘It smells incredible in here’ Mike Miller said as he snooped around the many dishes laid out on the kitchen counter.

‘It’s like this every year’ Peter said. ‘Neal here is a master chef!’

Neal gave his best friend a largely falsely modest glare.

‘It’s true’ Cameron added. ‘Mr. Caffrey’s amazing in the kitchen.’

‘Well, Mindy won’t let me near the stove any more – ever since I tried to cook a chicken last year and ended up costing us $15,000 in kitchen renovations.’

‘What?’ the men shouted out in a chorus.

‘It was just… a small kitchen fire, really…’ he said as everyone broke out in laughter.

‘Dad, Mom wants to know where the mini-quiches are?’ Hope interrupted as she stuck her head around the corner.

Neal pointed to a plateful on the counter and Hope made her way over, taking a small detour around the table so she could come up behind Cameron and give him a quick hug.

‘Hey, what about me?’ Peter asked, feeling left out. ‘Don’t I get a hug?’

Hope rolled her eyes as she indulged him. Men! 

WCWCWC

‘You look like you’re feeling a lot better’ Lydia Jordan said as she and Sara sat side by side on the living room couch.

‘I am… it’s just not… constant. Some days are good and then I… sort of crash’ Sara admitted. ‘But after Neal’s mom leaves, I want to come back to work. I think it’ll do me good.’

‘Well, we miss you, that’s for sure’ Lydia answered.

‘I started therapy and it seems to be helping’ Sara admitted as Lydia smiled at her.

‘That’s great news, Sara. But you have to give yourself some time…’

Sara nodded; she knew that time to heal was a big part of the equation but she was growing impatient for things to return to normal.

‘Are you sure you don’t want some wine?’ she asked her friend as she spied the glass of sparkling water in her hand.

She saw a fleeting something in her friend’s eyes as Lydia hesitated for a brief moment.

‘No! You’re not!’ Sara said, her voice growing louder.

‘Shhh!’ Lydia whispered. ‘I haven’t told anyone… well, except for Sam.’

‘You’re kidding!’ Sara shouted as she hugged her friend and colleague.

‘What? What’s going on over there?’ Elizabeth asked as she and Emily turned to see what all the fuss was about.

Lydia glanced around the room as everyone stared back at her. Whether she liked it or not, it looked like her secret was out.

‘I’m pregnant!’ she announced as everyone cheered and stood to congratulate her.

Another baby in their extended family – Sara couldn’t help but be thrilled. She took a look around the room at all the strong, wonderful women in her life: Emily, who was a cherished friend and staunch ally, Elizabeth, who was a force to be reckoned with, Lydia who was hell on wheels, even Mindy Miller whom she was learning to get to know, a loving mom who had a successful practice as a lawyer.

She glanced down at little Bea playing on the floor alongside Hope and Caitlin, right by Linda Bennett’s feet, another strong woman who had found a way to overcome a tenacious drug and alcohol problem in order to reunite with her son after forty years apart. She thought ahead to the next generation. Someday, maybe soon, Hope and Caitlin might become moms themselves and would be called upon to become role models for the next generation. Sara was suddenly overcome with confidence in the future as she thought of all the love and support around her.

WCWCWC

‘How about a toast?’ Neal suggested as he raised his glass. ‘To family and friends.’

The guests looked up at him from their seats at the dining room table, glasses raised in unison as little Bea shouted from her spot on her daddy’s lap.

‘Friends’ she let out as everyone laughed.

Neal looked around, his heart overflowing as he took in the happy faces, beginning with his mom, someone he’d never dreamed would be sitting at his dining room table. He could tell she was exhausted and yet, the smile never left her face as she took everything in, obviously thrilled to be with her family at long last.

‘I just want to say’ Neal continued ‘…that I am grateful for all of you in my life.’

He turned to face his mom. ‘Mom, up until a few months ago, I never dreamed that we would be reunited but thanks to my very stubborn wife, you’re here with us tonight and I couldn’t be happier. Sara, honey…’ he continued, his voice shaky ‘…you’re the light of my life, the mother of our beautiful kids and I love you more with each passing day.’

Sara’s eyes filled with tears as she smiled back at him, Emily’s hand finding its way to her shoulder, squeezing softly.

Neal appeared to want to say more but he seemed to be getting choked up, something that wasn’t lost on Peter who stood and raised his glass.

‘To friends and family!’ he said as everyone echoed the sentiment.

WCWCWC

By the time the guests started to leave, it was well past midnight and Linda had fallen asleep on the comfortable chair in the living room, her head slumping to one side as she drooled.

‘Mom’ Neal whispered as he leaned in and spoke gently in her ear. ‘Sara’s got your bed ready.’

Linda opened her eyes, squinting in the gentle light, leaning forward in a futile attempt to sit up.

‘It’s okay. I’ve got you’ Neal said as he leaned in and gently lifted her off the chair and into his arms.

She was as light as a feather, surely not a good sign as far as her health was concerned and Neal lifted her easily, carrying her the few feet into the family room where Sara stood, fussing over the pillows on the hide-a-bed.

Sara watched in awe as her husband appeared with Linda tucked in his arms, looking like a defenceless child in his strong, protective arms. Her eyes were closed and her head lay against his chest listlessly as she gave in to the weariness of the long day.

He set Linda down gently on the bed, rearranging her oxygen by the bedside and placing a gentle kiss on her forehead as she lay sleeping soundly, oblivious to his loving gesture.

‘Goodnight Mom’ he whispered as Sara brought her hand up to touch his back.

He turned to face her and she could see tears forming in his eyes. She pulled him to her as he let his face fall into the crook of her neck.

‘I know, honey, I know’ she said softly as she took his hand and led him up the stairs.

Once in bed, with his emotions in check, Neal lay with Sara, exhausted, yet blissfully happy.

‘I think that was the best party we’ve ever hosted’ he said as he caressed her shoulder.

‘I agree’ she answered simply. ‘Your mom was in heaven.’

He chuckled. ‘She was, wasn’t she? She seemed to get a real kick out of Bibi.’

‘Who wouldn’t? She’s the sweetest kid… Hey, guess what?’ she said as she lifted her head off his chest to find his eyes.

‘Lydia and Sam are having another baby!’

‘What? That sly dog… he never said.’

‘I think it was supposed to be a secret – a badly kept secret, it seems.’

‘Wow! Another baby… Where have the years gone? I remember sitting on the edge of the tub when you did that pregnancy test on Hope’s first day of school… it seems like yesterday’ he said wistfully.

Sara hesitated for a moment about what she was about to share – she and Neal had agreed years ago not to keep secrets from each other, especially where their kids were concerned.

‘I had a heart to heart with Hope’ she began as Neal pulled himself up onto his elbows so he could get a good look at her face. ‘She had a pregnancy scare.’

‘WHAT!’ Neal said loudly as she shushed him. ‘How did that happen?’

Sara gave him an icy stare as her eyebrows shot up. Considering their history, he was a fine one to talk.

‘You’re kidding, right?’ she said. ‘It happens to the best of us.’

‘I suppose but… she’s only nineteen. Why did we ever let her sleep over at Cam’s?’

Sara laughed. Cam and Hope had been together for over a year; it was a little late to try and rein them in.

‘Neal’ she said, her voice serious. ‘Do you really think we could stop her even if we tried?’

He stared back for a moment, his mind buzzing. ‘Do you think they still make chastity belts?’

TBC


	32. Chapter 32

Hope stretched out on the bed, enjoying the heavenly quiet after a busy day at her parents’ house. It had been a wonderful get-together but they’d gotten to bed late and she’d been up in the night with stomach cramps as her period had finally started, to her relief.

She could hear Cameron in the bathroom as he turned off the shower and took out his shaving gear. He’d been up first thing in order to get ready for work. She was grateful he’d let her sleep in, after all, one more day and she’d be headed back to her busy routine in Pittsburgh.

She thought of the seesaw of emotions she’d experienced over the past twenty-four hours: the paralyzing dread at the thought she might be pregnant, the momentary relief as her pregnancy test came up negative and the final exhale at getting her period, three days late. Her reaction had been unequivocal but Cameron had responded in a way she hadn’t anticipated and to her dismay, there seemed to be tension between them ever since. She’d confided in her mom before leaving the house the night before which meant her dad would know all about it by now. He’d be disappointed in her, she knew. He had dreams for his little girl and she was pretty sure it didn’t include having a baby out of wedlock at the ripe old age of nineteen.

The door to the bathroom opened and Cam appeared, looking fresh and well put together in a pair of dress pants and a striped shirt and tie. He walked over to the bed and propped himself up next to Hope as he grabbed for a fresh pair of socks.

‘You look particularly nice this morning, sweetie’ Hope cooed as she ran her hand lovingly up his back.

‘It’s going to be busy with all the Christmas shoppers getting an early start. Did you put those new paintings of yours in the car last night?’ he asked absentmindedly.

‘Yup’ she replied as she sat up and turned to face him. ‘Are you sure you’re okay?’

Cameron was the strong, silent type and it took a while for him to open up and share his feelings but Hope knew him well enough to know when he wasn’t being straightforward about what he was thinking.

‘I know you were disappointed in the way I reacted yesterday...’ she began.

‘No, babe… I wasn’t disappointed. You can’t help the way you feel’ he answered a little too curtly as he prepared to stand.

‘Cam, wait a minute. Please’ Hope pleaded as she got up on her knees and tried to keep him from walking away.

‘Hope, I’m going to be late… and your grandma’s coming by today. Let’s talk about it later, okay?’ he said as he leaned down to place a chaste kiss on the top of Hope’s unruly mop of hair.

‘All right’ Hope agreed grudgingly. They’d planned a nice dinner out for her last night in town; maybe they could talk things out then. She watched as Cameron walked away, his tall lanky body meandering out the door and then… it was altogether _too_ quiet.

WCWCWC

The remnants of the party lay scattered around the kitchen as Sara attempted to restore some semblance of order to their chaotic home. Funny how the kids seemed to disappear when it was time to tidy up. Linda was still sound asleep and Sara worked in silence, gathering dirty dishes and putting away the rest of the non perishables they’d left out the night before.

‘Caitlin!’ she whispered loudly as she spotted the teen trying to sneak down the stairs to the basement, without being seen.

‘What?’ she called back, annoyed. 

Busted.

‘Can you give me a hand and go collect the dishes from the dining room?’ Sara asked.

‘Awwww’ the teenager whined. ‘I was going to go down and work on my new sculpture.’

‘Well, your new sculpture will still be there when you finish giving me hand’ Sara said in her no-nonsense way.

Caitlin rolled her eyes and dragged herself melodramatically towards the front of the house.

‘Good morning’ Sara heard as she looked up from the dishwasher.

‘Linda! I’m sorry we woke you, I was trying to be quiet.’

‘Hey, it’s fine’ said the elderly woman as she struggled to sit up.

‘I made some tea’ Sara said as she reached for the teapot and poured a cupful with a little milk just like her mother-in-law liked it.

She walked over to the family room and took a seat on the edge of the bed as she handed the cup over to Linda.

‘You’ve been treating me like royalty ever since I arrived’ Linda said, looking somewhat embarrassed.

‘And enjoying _every_ minute of it’ Sara said with a sincere smile.

‘Oh, Sara, you’ve already got enough on your plate’ said Linda as she took a sip and smiled appreciatively.

‘Believe it or not, it’s been good to have a houseful of people. It’s helped me stay focussed’ Sara admitted as she took the woman’s hand. ‘And seeing you and Neal so happy… well, it’s _definitely_ worth it.’

The sound of something heavy being dragged down the stairs interrupted the quiet conversation and suddenly Emily was standing there with her luggage at her feet.

‘Hey sis!’ Sara called out as she stood to hug her sister. ‘Are you already packed?’

‘Well, my flight leaves at 2:00 and I thought, if we want to have a little time together before I go… Good morning Linda’ she called out as she noticed the older woman sitting there.

‘Good morning Emily’ she answered. 

‘Grandma, you’re awake!’ Caitlin called out as she returned, arms full of dirty dishes. ‘We’re going to the gallery today… and the school!’ she exclaimed as Neal appeared, looking dapper in a pair of dark blue jeans and a fuchsia coloured polo.

‘Whoa there, munchkin. Let’s see how Grandma’s feeling before we make any definite plans’ he warned. ‘Good morning everyone.’

Caitlin was already glued to Linda’s side, propped up beside her on the bed with her arm wrapped around the older woman’s frail arm.

‘Wild horses couldn’t keep me away’ Linda said as Caitlin glowed by her side.

To be honest, Neal was only slightly more in control of his excitement at the thought of introducing his mom to the Raphael Gallery and the June Ellington School of Art. They were both his ‘babies’ and he was thrilled to be showing his mom the culmination of all his hopes and dreams. The gallery had been a long term project and he and Sara had scrimped and saved for years to make it a reality. The school, which had come as a surprise, had followed right on its heels and yet he loved them both equally and was proud of what he had accomplished. For some reason he didn’t quite understand, it had become extremely important that his mom see what he’d been able to achieve, partly because he was bursting with pride at his accomplishments but also because he hoped to assuage her guilt that the negligence she’d inflicted on him in his early years hadn’t damaged him irreparably.

‘Well, let’s get everybody fed and we can get going then’ Neal said as Caitlin let out a happy yelp.

WCWCWC

‘It just seemed to go by so fast’ Sara said as she and her sister sat in the small coffee shop at JFK.

‘I’ve been here over a week’ Emily reminded her. ‘I’ll be back… for Christmas, if you invite me.’

‘Consider yourself invited’ Sara said with a laugh, ‘… for the next fifty Christmases.’

Emily studied her baby sister’s face, noticing a range of emotions that ran the gamut from sadness to bliss. She reached out to touch her hand.

‘Promise me you won’t give up on the therapy’ she said softly. ‘I know it seems tedious but I think Marion can help guide you through the next few months.’

Sara nodded and tears appeared unbidden although even _she_ couldn’t tell for sure what emotions were at the root of those pesky tears.

‘I need to do this for both me and Neal… and for our marriage’ Sara concluded as she wiped away a wayward tear.

‘And you will. Sara, you’re the strongest woman I know. You’ve been through so much and, here you are, still standing.’

Sara laughed out loud. ‘Yeah, well, that’s me… the Energizer bunny.’

‘So, you’ll call me in a few days and tell me how things are going?’ she asked. ‘And no more secrets!’

‘Promise, no more secrets’ Sara said.

WCWCWC

‘And over here is where we put our new collections’ Caitlin bellowed as she moved excitedly through the gallery ‘…and back here is where we teach our classes and see those stairs….’

‘Caitlin!’ Neal chastised. ‘Let Grandma breathe!’

‘Sorry, Grandma’ Caitlin said reluctantly, barely stopping to take a breath. ‘ _My_ stuff is upstairs, with the rest of the Caffrey family’s art. Mr. C. has his paintings up there and Hope does too and sometimes Emily’s stuff is up there and…’

‘Caitlin!’ Neal said, even louder than before.

Caitlin’s eyes fell to the ground in embarrassment as Neal came over and put a hand on her back.

‘Honey, I get it. You’re excited about Grandma being here but this isn’t a race, we can take our time and show her around’ he said as Caitlin looked up and smiled shyly.

‘Why don’t you and Cam go up and get your two sculptures and bring them down so Grandma can see them’ he suggested as she ran off happily, followed by Cam.

‘Neal, this place is absolutely incredible’ Linda said as she wheeled herself around the small gallery. ‘I can’t believe you and Sara have done this all by yourselves.’

‘Well, it took a while’ he admitted.‘…and June kept wanting to finance the place but…’

‘She told me… how you wouldn’t take any money from her. It makes it all the more amazing that you’ve managed to do this all on your own’ she said as she looked around, her blue eyes bright with wonder.

Neal cleared his throat. ‘Well, when I was younger, I took a lot of things that weren’t mine to take – things I didn’t have to work for and… I guess I just wanted one thing in my life that I worked hard to get and that I could be proud of...And then, when June died and left me all that money, Sara and I knew we had to do something to honour her memory so…’ Neal said, as his voice trailed.

‘So you started the art school… will you take me there?’ Linda asked, her voice faltering.

‘Yeah, of course. If you’re up to it’ he said brightly.

‘First though, I would love to see some of your art. I can’t do stairs but…’

‘Well…’ Neal said as he moved over to the nearby desk and picked up a large book. ‘We keep a record of all the art that comes into this place.’

He pulled up a seat alongside his mom’s wheelchair and opened the precious book which contained photographs of all the pieces he’d brought in to sell as well as Hope’s and Caitlin’s works.

After a few pages, he could sense Linda was trembling and his eyes left the scrapbook to look over at her face as tears poured down her cheeks.

‘Mom?’ he said.

‘I’m sorry’ she cried. ‘I know I have _no_ right to say this because you’ve done this _all_ by yourself, without any help from me but… Neal, I’m so _proud_ of you. I already knew you were a loving husband and father and a devoted son but I had no idea you were such an amazing artist.’

He scoffed, swallowing the emotion that was suddenly rising in his throat. Suddenly, he felt like he was five years old again, basking in his mom’s approval – and to his surprise, it still mattered to him _what_ she thought. It mattered a lot.

The spell was broken as they heard footsteps thundering down the stairs.

‘Got it’ Caitlin’s loud voice echoed in the gallery as Neal and Linda looked up to see her standing there expectantly.

WCWCWC

Neal drove up to the house just as Sara was stepping out of the car, having just returned from dropping Emily off at the airport.

Linda had fallen asleep in the passenger’s seat next to Neal and he and Caitlin helped her into her wheelchair and into the house as her head drooped. They placed her in the large lazy boy chair and put her feet up, covering her up with a warm blanket before stepping away and letting her snooze quietly – although it appeared that even a herd of elephants wouldn’t have been enough to wake her.

‘How was it?’ Sara asked, her voice low.

Neal gave her a sad smile. ‘It was good. You?’

‘Okay… she’s gone’ she said, her voice full of regret.

‘She’ll be back in another month or so’ Neal said as he touched her cheek, trying to make her smile.

Sara shrugged. ‘And Hope’s leaving tomorrow and… then, your mom.’

‘I know’ he answered wistfully. ‘It’s about to get really quiet around here.’

Seeing her sad face, Neal decided to amp it up a little. ‘The good news is we won’t have to wait in line to use the bathroom’ he said with a wicked smile.

Sara stared into Neal’s deep blue eyes, grateful to have him by her side.

‘Hey, I’ve got an idea’ he said, his face lighting up. ‘Why don’t you come with me to St. Louis tomorrow? I can take you out to that Italian restaurant we went to last time.’

Sara stared ahead, unsure. There was always Caitlin and Liam to think about and with Hope gone, she didn’t quite trust them on their own. Neal read her mind and continued. ‘It’s just one night and I’m sure Mozzie can be bought with a nice bottle of Cabernet.’

‘Yeah?’ Sara said, teetering.

‘Come on Repo. A little getaway, a nice meal. All this’ he said, pointing to himself.

Sara finally caved and began to laugh. ‘Oh, all right. You talked me into it.’

Neal slipped his arm around her waist, taking her hand in his as he began to waltz her around the kitchen, singing softly in her ear. ‘ _Meet me in St. Louis, Louis, Meet me at the fair… We’ll dance the hootchy kootchy, I will be your tootsie wootsie…’_

Sara giggled as he swung her around, dipping her dramatically. Unbeknownst to the two of them, Linda’s tired eyes had opened just a crack and a smile was gracing her lips.

TBC


	33. Chapter 33

‘I can’t believe you remembered this place’ Hope said as the waitress finished taking their order.

‘Of course I remembered. It’s special… we had our first date here’ Cameron replied, ever the romantic.

‘Well, it’s nice…’ Hope said as she reached out and took his hand. ‘Thank you.’

Cam’s eyes wandered around the room, trying to avoid her gaze. She was leaving in the morning – again – and he was already missing her.

‘Cam… I think we should talk about what happened’ she said, squeezing his hand.

‘There’s _nothing_ to talk about’ he said, taking a sip of his beer. ‘You don’t want to have my baby, I get it.’

‘Stop it. That’s not it at all and you know it. Don’t make this about you and me, Cam. This is about timing and… planning for the future.’

‘Hope, I love you. I want to be with you… all the time. I want to spend the rest of my life with you’ he said, staring into her deep blue eyes.

Hope frowned, taken aback by the forcefulness of his words. He seemed so sure of himself while she, on the other hand, seemed to still be working things out.

‘Oh Cam, I love you. I do.And when I think about the future, I think of us…’

‘But…’ he added.

‘No ‘but’… I just… Cam, I have so much ahead of me before I can even _think_ about settling down. I have to finish school, figure out what I’m going to do with the rest of my life… You need to give me some time to figure things out.’

He studied her carefully as she spoke. He loved _everything_ about this woman, her intelligence, her vitality, her wicked sense of humour, her beautiful blue eyes, the sound of her laughter. He couldn’t imagine his life without her and the thought of a long distance relationship was tearing him apart.

He nodded in understanding. Truth was, he’d take her any way he could have her – even if it _was_ long distance – as long as there was hope for a future together.

‘Look, I don’t want to freak you out. I know I’m coming on strong and I’m sorry if it’s scaring you but for me, _you’re_ the one, Hope. I’ve known it since the first time I saw you walk into the gallery.’

Hope smiled sweetly and leaned across the table to place a gentle kiss on his lips.

‘Cameron Armstrong, you are such a wonderful man’ she said, her voice low. ‘And when the time is right… for _both_ of us, I would be honoured to have your babies.’

‘Babies? Plural?’ he said with a wide grin.

She shrugged and smiled and suddenly, it was all good.

WCWCWC

Neal glanced at his watch and made his way up from the basement. He hadn’t noticed just how late it was getting. He’d been down there for the past couple of hours, working on his new project; for some reason, time always seemed relative whenever he worked in his studio. He stepped off the stairs and into the family room, flinching as he spotted Caitlin nearby, lurking.

‘What the… Caitlin, you startled me’ he whispered as he spotted the camera in her hands – _his_ camera, the one everyone in the family knew never to touch without his explicit consent.

Caitlin stared back at her foster dad, mouth agape, as if she’d been caught with her hand in the cookie jar, which technically, she had.

‘What are you doing with _my_ camera?’ he asked quietly, not wanting to wake his mom who was asleep nearby. ‘And why are you lurking?’

‘I am not _lurking’_ she argued. ‘I’m just… taking a few pictures of Grandma, that’s all.’

‘While she’s asleep?’ Neal asked, skeptical.

‘She doesn’t like to have her picture taken…’ Caitlin griped. ‘…and I… I need some head shots so I can…’

Neal waited for her to finish her sentence, eyeing her up and down suspiciously.

‘… so I can sculpt her’ Caitlin finally said, looking embarrassed.

Neal couldn’t help but smile at her unexpected answer. His badass foster daughter seemed to have one giant soft spot when it came to his mom and he was finding the whole thing rather endearing.

He took her by the arm, leading her towards the stairs. ‘Well, it’s almost eleven o’clock and you need to get to bed’ he said, his voice stern.

Caitlin handed over the camera and peeked out at him from under her blond bangs.

‘Goodnight Mr. C’ she whispered as she leaned in and gave him a peck on the cheek before skulking away.

Neal shook his head and rolled his eyes. He turned towards the family room, watching as Linda slept peacefully, her soft white hair nestled on the pillow, the gentle light framing her face. He glanced over towards the staircase to make sure Caitlin had gone up to bed and without hesitation, he raised the camera to his face and aimed the lens towards his mom.

WCWCWC

Neal was up bright and early on Saturday morning. It was going to be a long day. Hope was leaving on the 10:00 train to Pittsburgh and she and Cameron had promised to stop by the house before heading out to Penn Station.

As if that wasn’t enough, he and Sara were on a noon flight to St. Louis with Linda and they needed to get her packed up and ready to go. Luckily, Mozzie had readily agreed to keep an eye on the kids and the three of them had already made plans for a pizza/movie night – Neal hadn’t even needed to bribe him with the bottle of wine.

Neal hoped that the brief return trip would do Sara some good. He’d noticed she did a lot better when she kept herself busy and having everybody leave within a twenty-four hour period would surely be hard for her to cope with. A quick side-trip and a nice dinner out would surely help smooth the transition.

He busied himself with the last of the preparations for a quick breakfast send-off – French toast and bacon with scrambled eggs – all of Hope’s favourites – and he’d just put on some coffee to brew when Sara appeared, showered and dressed.

‘Mmm, it smells good down here’ she said as she grabbed for a slice of bacon.

‘Hey! Hands off the bacon, lady!’ Neal teased as he smacked her bum playfully.

She glanced into the family room, noting the bed had already been made and everything had been put back in its original place. Linda’s suitcase was sitting on the floor by the couch – although the lady, herself, was nowhere to be found.

‘Where’s your mom?’ she asked – although there was only once place she could possibly be.

‘She’s just finishing up in the bathroom’ Neal said as he turned his attention back to the care package he was preparing for Hope – some sugar cookies, homemade fudge and a carefully packaged pumpkin pie that was left over from Thanksgiving dinner.

He seemed preoccupied and Sara wondered if he was still ruminating about what she’d shared with him the night before. She hoped he wouldn’t be too rash and end up saying things to their daughter that he might live to regret – but then again, this was Neal Caffrey and ‘impulsive’ was his middle name.

‘Neal’ she said, standing directly in front of him so he didn’t have the choice but to look at her.

‘What?’ he asked with a frown, his eyes rising suspiciously to meet hers.

‘When Hope gets here, don’t make a big deal about what I told you last night. She’s leaving and you don’t want to get into an argument just before she goes.’

‘No argument’ Neal said smugly as he flashed her a put-on smile and sidestepped her, returning to the task at hand.

Sara rolled her eyes. She knew better. He wouldn’t be able to leave well enough alone. The intensity of his relationship with their daughter had caused plenty of fireworks in the past and tempers had flared on more than one occasion as father and daughter disagreed about the way they saw the world.

‘Linda!’ Sara said, rushing to her mother-in-law’s aid as the elderly woman stepped out of the bathroom and slowly pushed her walker back towards the kitchen.

‘Are you ready for your trip home today?’ she asked as Neal pretended not to listen.

‘It’ll be nice to get some rest but… I’ve had a wonderful time’ she said as Sara helped her sit at the kitchen table.

‘Well, we’ve loved having you here’ Sara replied with a warm smile.

‘Are you hungry, Mom?’ Neal asked as he started to prepare a plate for her. ‘Hope should be here any – ‘

Before he could finish, the front door burst open and the sound of Hope and Cameron giggling could be heard echoing throughout the house. Sara gave her husband one last piercing glare, a warning which he chose to totally ignore.

‘We’re in the kitchen!’ Neal called out as he placed a platter of food on the table.

‘Hey!’ Hope said as she came into view, pulling a grinning Cameron along behind her.

She spied the box of goodies on the kitchen counter and let out a shriek of joy ‘Oh, Daddy! You shouldn’t have!’

‘Oh, that?’ Neal said, deadpan. ‘That’s not for you’ he teased as Hope made her way over to hug him.

‘I love you’ she mewled as Neal caved and smiled in return.

‘Who’s hungry?’ he asked as everyone took a seat at the table.

WCWCWC

By the time the plates were all empty, it was time to say their goodbyes and Neal and Sara got up from the table and followed their daughter and her boyfriend to the front door.

‘I’ll go put this in the car’ Cam said as he carried the box of goodies out the door. ‘See you, Mr. and Mrs. Caffrey.’

‘Well, this is it – again’ Sara said as she fought back tears. Every time Hope left to return to school, it was the same old story; it never seemed to get any easier.

‘Oh Mom! Don’t cry. I’ll be home for Christmas’ Hope said, throwing her arms around her mother. ‘I love you. Please take care of yourself.’

Sara nodded, barely able to speak. ‘I will’ she managed to say.

Neal watched as Sara tried to pull herself together. Saying goodbye to their little girl was never easy and he was only marginally better at handling the frequent farewells.

‘Here, let me walk you out to the car’ he said as he grabbed a jacket by the front door.

He put an arm around his daughter and the two of them ambled out in the late fall morning.

‘Promise me you’ll take care of yourself, sweet pea’ Neal said as they headed towards Cam’s old beat up Chevy.

‘I will Dad. Don’t worry about me. I’m good… it’s _all_ good’ she said reassuringly, lacing her arm snugly around his waist.

Neal thought of Sara’s words of wisdom and hesitated for a moment before leaning in to take Hope in his arms. He didn’t want their goodbye to be marred by his impulsive reaction to her latest misadventure. Instead, he reached into his pocket and pulled out an envelope, slipping it not so surreptitiously into her purse.

‘This is just a little something extra from your mom and I so you can treat yourself to a couple of movie nights’ he said.

‘Daaad!’ she said with a smile. ‘Thank you. I love you’ she said as she hugged him tight.

In the blink of an eye, Neal felt her slip out of his grasp and she stepped into the car, looking every bit like the responsible adult she had flourished into. He leaned in to hand her the seat belt and give them both one last piece of advice.

‘Drive safe, Cam!’ he said as he stepped away, waving to them as the car backed out of the driveway.

And just like that, his baby girl was off into the big bad world once again.

WCWCWC

The flight to St. Louis went off without a hitch. Neal had made arrangements for Linda’s special accommodations and they had pre-boarded the plane in order to settle her in for the two-hour flight home.

Linda Bennett sat between her son and daughter-in-law, looking even tinier on the huge airliner and by the time the plane left the ground, she was sound asleep.

Neal smiled over at Sara as the ‘buckle your seat belt’ sign was finally turned off.

‘So, everything okay with Hope?’ Sara asked, curiosity getting the better of her.

Neal nodded. ‘I decided to take your advice…’

Sara gave him a smug look and he frowned in response. ‘I’m big enough to admit, that every once in a while, you _do_ give good advice.’

Sara retreated to her earlier silence and after a few minutes, Neal reached around his mom to touch her hand.

‘What’s up Repo?’ he asked. ‘You’re being awfully quiet.’

‘I was just thinking…’ she began slowly as she turned to look at Neal. ‘…when I’m feeling better… well, I’ve decided I want to press charges…’

Neal’s eyes widened. He had thought it too early to bring up the subject but he supported Sara one hundred percent with whatever she wanted to do in her attempt to put this ugly mess behind her.

‘Mindy and I talked about it the other night and… well, she can help be navigate the legal system. She has contacts in the prosecutor’s office.’

Neal listened attentively. He could see a glimmer of the old Sara, the strong, feisty woman who didn’t let herself get pushed around.

‘Whenever you’re ready, honey’ Neal said softly. ‘I’ll be right there alongside you.’

Sara nodded, emotion rising in her throat and she shook off the thought, trying to stay focussed in the present moment. She gave Neal a tentative smile and he winked at her as her face broke out in all-out grin.

WCWCWC

Linda Bennett was wheeled into the Amica Retirement Home to a rousing welcome from the staff.

‘Mrs. Bennett! You’re back. We missed you!’ the receptionist declared as a few of the attendants stood nearby and cheered.

She’d had the time of her life and now, she was feeling as though she could sleep for five days straight. Neal and Sara brought her up to her room and got her settled in bed even though it was still early afternoon. No matter the hour, Linda couldn’t keep her eyes open if her life depended on it.

‘Linda’ Sara said as she leaned in to hug the elderly woman. ‘Thank you for coming to visit us. We loved having you.’

‘Thank _you_ , Sara. Take care of yourself’ Linda said, her voice weak.

‘I’m going to give you and Neal a few minutes alone’ Sara added. ‘I’ll be back to visit soon.’

Neal gave his wife a grateful smile and watched as she left to wait for him in the lobby.

‘Well, Mom, you get some rest, okay?’ he said as he sat on the edge of the bed, holding her hand. ‘You made me really happy by coming to visit.’

Although her eyes were already closed, she smiled and spoke softly. ‘Honey, it was the _best_ time of my life.’

He swallowed hard against the lump in his throat. Seeing her so frail and vulnerable made him feel powerless. He leaned in to place a gentle kiss on her forehead.

‘I love you Mom. I’ll be back soon’ he said, his voice shaky.

She was already asleep and Neal gazed at her lying form for a moment, committing the vision of her peaceful face to memory. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a framed photograph of the whole clan he’d taken at Thanksgiving dinner with Linda smack dab in the middle surrounded by everyone, smiles all around. He placed it on the small bedside table where she would be sure to see it the moment she opened her eyes.

With one last tender gaze, Neal rose and walked out of the room.

TBC


	34. Chapter 34

Neal was quiet on the way back to the hotel. Saying goodbye to his mom was always difficult – even more so as time went on. A nagging thought was always there in the back of his mind whenever they parted ways – would this be the last time he’d ever see her?

Sara observed her husband in silence, not wanting to push him into talking about it. She knew him all too well and even though he hadn’t said a word, she knew exactly what he was thinking.

‘You look beat’ she commented as they stepped into the hotel room.

Neal let himself fall onto the bed with a thud. ‘It _has_ been a busy few days’ he groaned in agreement.

Sara took off her jacket and dropped it alongside him on the king size bed before making a quick detour into the suite’s washroom. She had fond memories of their last little trip to this hotel and the long, hot soak they’d had in the large tub – pity she hadn’t thought of asking for a room with the upgrade.

‘Ah ha!’ Neal heard her call out. She popped her head back into the main room. ‘I’ve got just what you need.’

Neal lifted his head off the bed and glanced over at his wife who was looking damn pleased with herself.

‘What?’ he couldn’t help asking as she made her way back and perched beside him on the edge of the bed and ran her hand through his hair.

‘Jacuzzi!’

Neal let out a deep sigh. That sounded wonderful – even though it was barely four o’clock in the afternoon.

‘What about dinner out?’ he asked as he pulled himself up on his elbows.

‘We have lots of time’ Sara said as she stood and walked to the end of the bed where she proceeded to remove Neal’s shoes and socks.

Neal protested. ‘Wait! We might not feel like going out again if we get undressed.’

‘So?’ Sara replied as she moved up and began unbuckling his belt buckle. ‘There’s this new invention, Neal… it’s called room service’ she cooed with a naughty smile.

Truth be told, a long hot soak in the Jacuzzi was just what he needed to help wash away all the fatigue from his tired, aching body. Having company in the house for the past week and hosting a shindig for a large group had been exhausting and to top it off he’d flown St-Louis/New York twice in one week.

‘Okay’ he readily agreed as he reached out with a look of mischief and started unbuttoning the front of her blouse.

Within minutes, they were lying in each others’ arms, Sara’s back pressed against Neal’s chest, her body safely tucked in between his legs as the two of them sighed in appreciation.

‘Tell me again, why we don’t have one of these in our bathroom at home’ Neal whispered into Sara’s ear.

‘I think it had something to do with needing a regular tub to bathe the kids when they were little… but hey, I really don’t remember’ she murmured with a soft laugh.

‘Neal, you did good’ she said after a few moments of soaking in blissful silence. ‘Your mom had a wonderful time.’

‘Mmmm’ he murmured in agreement as he felt all the tension start to leave his body. ‘It was a great few days.’

‘She’ll never forget it’ Sara agreed. ‘Did you see the look on her face when we left – she was blissfully exhausted.’

Neal nodded and wound his arms around Sara’s waist, feeling her soft skin against his grateful body.

‘This was a good idea, babe… you coming with me’ he cooed as he kissed his wife’s neck.

‘Yeah, there’s something about getting away that helps put some distance between you and your problems’ Sara agreed as she leaned into the nuzzle.

‘How are you feeling?’ he murmured – a question he’d asked her dozens of times over the past couple of weeks.

‘More relaxed than I’ve felt since…’ she said as she let her voice trail.

The truth was she hadn’t felt this calm and peaceful in weeks. The pulsing of the warm jets, the sensation of the water tickling her skin, Neal’s arms around her tired body, his warm, sexy voice whispering in her ear. It was a perfect storm and she became aware of a familiar stirring in the pit of her stomach, a sensation she’d begun to worry she might never experience again.

Neal closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of his wife in his arms. For a moment, they both forgot about Sara’s terrible ordeal and happily melted into the moment – all senses tingling.

Sara let out a soft moan and she reached for Neal’s hand, taking it in hers and placing in on her left breast as she lay hers on top in an effort to keep it in place.

‘Mmmm’ Neal moaned as he let himself be led. She began to squeeze his hand, inviting him to caress her breast and he followed her lead without hesitation. Her arm reached up over her head and found its way around Neal’s neck as he leaned in and kissed her bare shoulder.

‘That’s nice’ she murmured, eyes closed, as she let herself enjoy the moment. ‘Talk to me, Neal…’

He smiled wistfully, even if things didn’t develop any further, he was truly enjoying the moment.

‘This feels amazing, your skin is _so_ soft. I’ve really missed holding you like this’ he murmured as Sara focussed on his velvety voice. It was soothing and so sensual and she willed herself to block everything else out.

‘I’ve missed you too’ she whispered as she began to squirm in his arms, the sensation of his hands and the warm bubbling water sending shivers all the way down to her toes.

She brought her hands down to rest on his thighs, gently pushing them down as she proceeded to place her own long legs up on top of his, her feet hooking around his calves as she spread her thighs wide open. Neal’s eyes widened and his breath hitched at the sight of her open for him, inviting him to touch her – longing for his hands on her.

‘Please…’ she murmured as she took his right hand and brought it down to rest between her thighs.

‘Sara…’ he moaned. ‘My beautiful Sara…’

‘Tell me… tell me…’ she sighed as his hand began to move against her, making her squirm in response.

‘You’re _so_ beautiful… and I want to make you feel good’ he whispered breathlessly, one hand expertly tweaking her breast and the other moving in skilful, circular motions under her own hand as she guided him to where she needed him to be.

‘Does that feel good babe?’ he murmured rather unnecessarily.

‘Mmmmmm’ Sara managed to moan, already beginning to lose control.

His soft whispers were helping her remain anchored in the moment, chasing away unwelcome thoughts while she focussed on that soft, sensuous voice of his, the one that could send her over the edge in a moment’s notice.

She pressed his hand firmly against her, placing it exactly where she wanted him to be as Neal followed her lead, feeling his own body reacting to her moans.

‘You are _so_ amazing, you drive me crazy’ he continued in her ear as she began to make those squeaky little noises he knew all too well. She stretched out like a cat, squirming against Neal’s hand and bringing her arms up around to cradle the back of his neck, pulling him in closer and tugging on his hair as she rocked urgently into his hand. He accelerated his ministrations reacting to her moans. He knew her body inside and out, fully in command of what he needed to do in order to take her all the way to a mind blowing orgasm.

He wanted this for her so badly, wanted her to enjoy her body again, to feel safe in the knowledge that they were slowly finding their way back to each other.

‘I love you Sara, I love you, I love you... You have no idea how much…’ he moaned as she began to let out short, loud cries – sounds that drove him absolutely mad as she got closer to the edge. He could tell by the sounds she was making and the way her body was responding that it wouldn’t be long now. He just hoped she would find a way to stay in the moment long enough to find release from the intensity that was building inside her.

‘You’re close, babe. You’re _so_ close’ he whispered breathlessly as his teeth nibbled on her ear.

She stiffened in his arms, arching her back and Neal could feel his own breathing becoming ragged at the sight and feel of her so very close to letting go.

‘Will you come for me, Repo? Will you come _just for me_ … _just_ _for_ me’ he murmured in breathless anticipation as Sara exploded under his touch, her hands pulling insistently at his hair as she began thrashing in the tub.

‘That’s my girl… that’s my girl’ Neal repeated in her ear, his voice rough. ‘I’ve got you, I’ve got you sweetheart, I’ve got you.’

He held her tight, feeling her shudder as she moaned through the rest of her orgasm. It seemed to go on forever and Neal watched in wonder as she thrashed in the water, closing her legs tightly and trapping his hand firmly between her thighs.

‘Awww. Neal… Neal… Neal…’ she repeated incoherently as he continued to move his hand as best he could while her orgasm lingered as if it would never end. 

He felt a soft smile light up his face. This was an amazing breakthrough for her and he was thrilled that she’d been able to trust him – and trust _herself_ long enough to get to this point.

She continued panting as she finally relaxed her legs and let him remove his hand which had begun to cramp up – not that he was complaining.

‘Baby, that was amazing!’ he whispered in her ear as she slowly returned to herself, her breathing laboured.

She craned her neck to look up at him and he saw the same glorious smile as the one that was pasted on his own lips.

‘I did it!’ she said in a tone that took Neal back fifteen years before to the day Hope had finally learned to ride her bike without training wheels.

Neal laughed out loud. ‘You _did_ and you were incredible’ he said as he placed a soft kiss on her lips.

She laughed heartily as her whole body relaxed. She suddenly became aware of the insistent hardness pushing into her back and she let out a loud sigh.

‘Oh, honey, I’m sorry. What about you?’ she said, her voice still straining.

‘I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. That was a big, big step for you’ Neal said as he tried to keep his mind off his own pressing need for release.

She lay there, collecting herself from the intensity of the moment, her smile seemingly permanently glued to her face.

‘I’m starved’ she declared, after a few moments.

‘Oh yeah?’ Neal answered, amused. He could eat but he had to blow off a little steam first.

‘Why don’t you go get ready and I’ll be out in a minute’ he suggested as she looked at him sadly.

‘I could give you a hand…’

‘Sara, what just happened was amazing. Let’s not push our luck’ he said.

She placed a kiss on his lips and stood, her legs slightly unsteady as she stepped out of the Jacuzzi. Neal examined her gorgeous, naked body from behind, her endless legs, her beautiful back, that perfect ass. She grabbed for a robe behind the door and turned to give him a sultry smile and blow him a kiss – just in case he needed incentive.

Neal’s breathing accelerated as he let his eyes flutter shut and let his hand slip down his body, letting his head fall back against the edge of the tub.

WCWCWC

‘You all right?’ Sara asked as Neal reappeared a few moments later, clad in an identical white terry cloth robe.

‘I’m great’ he answered as he made his way over, slipping his arms around her waist and depositing a kiss on her forehead.

‘I am _so_ happy for you’ he said with a goofy smile on his face.

‘Baby steps…’ she said with a sigh.

Neal corrected her. ‘That was a _giant_ step, honey.’

‘You ready for a big Italian meal?’ he asked as she nodded enthusiastically.

‘I’m even going to order dessert’ she exclaimed.

WCWCWC

‘Oh, my God. Why did you let me order garlic bread?’ Sara groaned as they stepped out of the restaurant.

‘I don’t think I could have stopped you’ Neal laughed. ‘You were on a roll.’

She laughed as she slipped her arm in his. It was a cold November evening and clouds were threatening although it was anybody’s guess whether it would eventually fall as rain or snow. They slowly made their way up the side street towards the main drag where it would be easier to flag a cab back to the hotel.

‘This was a really fun getaway’ she cooed as she buried her nose in Neal’s coat sleeve.

‘Back to reality tomorrow’ he shrugged.

‘Reality’s not so bad’ Sara said, sounding a lot more positive. ‘We have our appointment with Marion at three and I really want to go back to work on Tuesday.’

Neal nodded. ‘Just don’t push yourself, okay? Today was a breakthrough but we still have a long way to go.’

Sara looked at her husband and her smile seemed to fade; he was right. It would take a while to get back to normal but she was feeling more optimistic than ever that they would eventually get there.

‘Stop! Stop! Let me go’ they heard from across the street as they saw a man pulling a woman along, seemingly against her will.

Neal and Sara exchanged worried looks and returned their eyes to the scene that was playing out just as a passerby called out to the attacker.

‘Let her go!’ the man yelled from a few feet away as he ran towards the feuding couple, obviously an unsuspecting knight in shining armour.

Neal returned his eyes to Sara’s face, noticing she was holding on to his arm with a death grip; he couldn’t get away even if he wanted to.

He read her mind and shook his head as he grabbed for his phone to call for help.

‘You know, I think I’ll sit this one out.’

La fin


End file.
